Have You Ever Really Danced On the Edge?

I’m looking closely at the shelves, searching desperately for the plates. Every fiber of my being is aware that Vic is mere feet away from me. I feel so stupid.

“Where the hell could they be?” I say aloud, expecting Vic or Taylor to answer me. Suddenly, Vic makes an ‘oomph!’ noise and is sent flying in my direction. The closet door slams and I hear sniggering.

Vic’s weight is crushing me. I shout angrily, “Shit! Oh, fuck!” I push Vic none too gently away from me, not really liking the whole ‘falling-on-top-of-Anna’ deal.

Vic shouts as well, “Let us out! You immature little bastards!”

“Not until you get things figured out!” I hear Mike yell. I could just hear the grin in his voice.

I glance at Vic, “We’ve gotten things figured out! We’re completely fine! We even shook hands!” When I say this, Vic looks at me with an eyebrow raised, but doesn’t say anything. Obviously I’m lying so that those stupid fuckers will let us out.

“Nope!” Jaime taunts from the other side of the door. “Not until you kiss and make up!”

I scream out in frustration – I both love and hate my friends. Honestly.

Vic and I sit there for a while, not saying anything. Finally, we hear footsteps leading into the living room. Vic is just kind of staring everywhere except my face.

I clear my throat and take a chance, “So…”

“What do you want me to say,” Vic demands. His voice is harsh so I cringe. I wasn’t expecting that. “Do you want me to say sorry? Because I’m not.”

“Wow Vic, stop acting so mature! It’s making me uncomfortable.” I spit out sarcastically and Vic purses his lips into a scowl.

There’s another uncomfortable silence.

“We’re not even fighting for good reason, Vic. We’re fighting because you – a twenty-eight year old traveling musician likes me, an eighteen year old high-school graduate.”

Vic sighs, “We’re fighting because you like me, yet we can’t be together? That’s bullshit.”

“It’s just kind of weird right now, I thought if anyone would understand you could. But I guess not.”

Vic’s facial expression softens. I could just see the brick wall he’s put up melting away. “Hey, I understand. I do. I know what it’s like to have someone just kind of… stop caring. But I guess it’s just our age difference, you know? I’ve seen things far beyond that first heartbreak, and you’re just trying to see five feet in front of you. I get it, I do. I also want you to understand something.”

I nod, an indication he could go on.

“I want you to understand that, no, Brandon didn’t treat you very well. He was your first love, blah blah, but he’s not worth your tears. I don’t want to see you cry over that jerk again. I’m saying this as your friend and an outsider. Your relationship was one-sided, Anna. You gave, he took. And I just know that there’s more to a relationship than that.”

As always, Vic says the right thing at the right time.

“And I guess I just got upset because I always have a picture in my head of what I want. I will literally do anything to make it happen. I will kill myself: I will run myself into the ground to make it happen how I want it to happen. But with you… it’s like the script dissolves. There are no rules; nothing is set into stone. And I stumble.”

Fuck. I haven’t listened to Vic’s band, but if his spoken words are as good as his lyrics maybe I should start. My heart melts and I’m swooning.

Vic moves closer to me, and grabs my hands. We’re holding hands how the bride and groom do on their wedding day. I smile up at him.

He continues, “So I just want you to forgive me. This is different – you’re different. Than anyone I’ve ever dated. I underestimate you, every single time. And I don’t want that anymore. I want adjust to you. I want to be surprised. With you, I have that: that unexpected, but completely amazing... that unpredictable factor keeps me coming back.”

“Vic…” I start, because it’s getting to be too much. I’d forgiven him like, four paragraphs ago.

But he isn’t finished. “And I want you to forgive me. I want you to take a chance on me, like I have for you. It’s weird, I know… but we can do this. Fuck Brandon, fuck age; fuck everyone except you and me. It’s us against the world, but we can do it. Let’s just be together.”

“You know I’m not ready for that. Vic, I really like you, but… I don’t know if I can commit yet. We broke up, like 48 hours ago. I’m simply not ready.”

Vic smiles. Instead of holding my hands, he wraps his arms around my waist in an embrace. His body is warm, inviting. He kisses right below my earlobe and then down my neck. I close my eyes and let my head roll back.

“Well…this is…convincing,” I mange as Vic moves onto my neck. I can feel his smile against my skin.

He stops and looks me right in my face. “Then let’s just hang out and see where it takes us. But just know I care about you… so fucking much. And I want to hear that you care about me too.”

I peck his lips. He leans his head down so that our foreheads rest together – I am several inches shorter than Vic - “I care about you, Victor Fuentes.”

Vic smiles and kisses the round part of my shoulder, “That’s all I needed to hear.”

For the rest of the time that we’ve been stuck in the closet, Vic and I bounce between talking and kissing, joking and cuddling. We ended up on the floor: I was curled into Vic’s side, my head on his chest. I had one hand placed on his chest, one his hands over it.

It wasn’t comfortable, but it was with Vic. And that’s I needed. When I thought about it, yes, things could get complicated in the future – but I had to let myself enjoy those moments. Vic was right, just hanging out could be fun.

Vic kissed my forehead. “Should we see if they unlocked it yet?”

As if on command, we hear footsteps. Then, knocking.

“Hey, it’s Taylor,” her voice is full of sleep – it must have been far past an hour. “I’m unlocking the door.” She unlocks and pulls it open. She takes one look at us and smiles. “Well, well… time to get up, kids. Parties over, the rest of the guys have gone home.”

Vic groans at the mentioning of getting up, but I easily get to my feet. “Hear that, Victor? Time to leave.” I say, and prod him with my foot.

He grabs my angle and we giggle together. “What, are you kicking me out, Miss Morrison?”

I make a weird noise as Vic trips and I stumble into a heap on his stomach. “Yes, Vic!” I go to say more, but Vic is kissing me.

“Ew,” I hear Taylor say and shut the door again.

“Okay, Vic,” I somewhat press. “You should go. We can hang out tomorrow, possibly? I hear it’s going to be great weather for a barbeque. What do you say?”

“I’ll bring the hotdogs,” He says and slowly gets to his feet. “I’ll call you tomorrow with details, okay?” He hugs me and kisses my cheek. “See you later, love.”

I blush and open the closet door for us, “Bye, Vic.”

But the truth is, I don’t really want him to go.