Have You Ever Really Danced On the Edge?

As suddenly as drama flared, the dust settled. And surprisingly, stay settled. In fact, the next few weeks were pretty quaint, as a routine slowly formed. My days went as followed: wake up, around 10 am, go for a run, shower, eat breakfast, and head over to Vic and Mike’s. Taylor would meet us after work. Eat dinner, veg out, go home, and finally… sleep.

Rinse and Repeat.

The ache of the break-up was still there. Part of me knows it’s somewhat denial but the ache is too dull for me to pay attention to it. The only time I ever give in to not being okay is in the dark of my bedroom.

That’s when fear of being lonely, memories, and the ache grip my shoulders and don’t let go until I can barely catch my breath from the sobbing. It’s an ugly, emotional mess and that’s why I keep it a secret. It’s actually kind of amazing Taylor hasn’t woken up to it yet.

Other than those dark moments of weakness, I have powered through my days with the help of my sister and our newfound friends.

As far as Vic and I went, things were still good. Things proceeded in an average fashion. We were friends and we liked each other’s company too much to be anything but. To be honest, things were a little flirty, but only because everything was so easy with Vic.

I hadn’t felt that comfortable with somebody since… I had made girlfriends for the first time. That sounds kind of awkward, but nothing has felt this effortless with any member of the opposite sex. Ever.

And that was really weird to me. Like, aren’t you supposed to be speechless in the presence of your One True Love? Aren’t you supposed to be sweating profusely with nervousness?

When I’m with Vic, I feel comfortable. Oddly comfortable, in fact. I feel like I could ask him things like “What if we have tails coming out of our butts? What if it were socially acceptable for girls to have mustaches and not boys?” and wonder about the beginning of time all in the same sentence. (I may or may have already asked him those, but all I really got was a shake of the head and a smirk).

Anyway, the point is, with Vic I was truly myself and knew who I was. Nothing was fake. It was so freeing.

And I appreciated the flow of what we had. It was so chill and fun. And yet, it was almost all I could take. Sometimes, Vic would look at me, slug my arm softly with an inside joke. It was almost like my whole body was doused in a hot liquid, paralyzing me – all through a simple smile.

Needless to say, I still didn’t know what was going on. I wanted to, and I wanted it to be simple, an explanation only needing a sentence. Yet it took so much explaining. It wasn’t, but it wasn’t. All I could do at this point was blissfully enjoy myself.

- - -

That wasn’t an impossible task to do. Especially when you’re best friends with Pierce the Veil.

There was a break in the routine when I was eating breakfast and suddenly… Mike Fuentes was in my kitchen.

“Hello?” I asked, thrown off.

“Don’t greet me with a question,” He replied, quickly grabbing an apple from the counter and biting into it. “Anyway, change of plans for tonight.”

“A change in plans?”

Another bite of apple, “You know how we’ve been having a little off time writing for the new record?”

“Yes?” I wondered where this was going.

“Well, my dear. We’re playing a little hometown show tonight. It’s going to be so awesome! You have to be there!”

My body kind of jumped in surprise that my Cheerios rattled on my spoon. “Oh my gosh! Mike, of course I’ll be! I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

This gained a big smile from Mike’s face and he came over to the table to his hand on mine (always a softie when no one was looking). “I am so excited, pre-gaming at 5:45, we play at 7, girlfriend.”

- - -

The concert space was kind of grimy. You know me by now. Anyway, it was dark and small with seemingly a lot of history. On the halls outside of the actual concert hall section, was pictures of various performers that had been there. Some pictures looked like they dated at least circa ‘70s or even later ‘60s.

The opening band was, at least for me, passing time for Pierce the Veil. I couldn’t even pretend to be interested, even after the lead vocalist tried his hardest to get the whole place clapping to a song nobody knew. It just wasn’t happening.

The absolute best part of concerts is the buzz among the crowd in excitement before the show starts. Everybody there loved the guys and their music and appreciated what they did.

And that was the best!

Soon, the hall dimmed and stayed dimmed. Suddenly there was screaming as 4 darkened figures made their way across stage and to their respective instruments. In the background, there was a piano melody. Then a spotlight shown on Mike who started drumming. “Black and Yellow” by Wiz Khalifa.

Vic came out, a huge smile on his face and screamed into the mic, “SAN DIEGO!”

The crowd screaming in response, “You better fucking jump!”

And with that, the intense crowd of concertgoers jumped as one, a sea of people under Vic’s every command.

The rest of the show went on like that, Vic almost composing a symphony of people, a grand conductor full of energy and awareness.

The first song they sang was a song they had just finished called Besitos.

The whole time I had a smile on my face. I loved these boys and my heart was so happy for their success. I couldn’t help but be memorized by Vic too. I had to remind myself to calm down every time I started to get butterflies.

At one point we locked eyes and he winked (the girl next to me screaming, thinking it was for her). But I knew, that that was just for me. Taylor noticed and nudged me.

I tried to ignore her but I couldn’t deny I felt something.