You Taught Me Love

Gerard's P.O.V.

At home, I flopped down on the couch as Frank kissed the side of my face, before he walked to the kitchen to cook supper. I felt bad for letting him do all the work, but honestly I didn't even have the strength to get on my feet. He also wasn't a very good cook, but at the moment it didn't matter much.

His cellphone rang as a drawer was being opened, and he answered it after a while with a sigh loud enough for me to hear.

“Hello?”

Pause.

“I'm at Gerard's.”

Pause.

“Can we please not do this now, Ma? It's not a good time.”

Pause. I heard pans clashing as he struggled to get them out of the cabinet.

“No, I'm not lying this time. I'm at Gerard's, and for God's sake we both know that's where I've been every time I left the house and invented a crappy excuse.”

Pause. The rattling stopped abruptly.

“Shit, Ma! I'm not with him for the sex! Just because I see him a lot doesn't mean we fuck every second we're together!”

Pause. The cabinet door creaked close.

“Yes, I do. Okay? I do. There.”

Pause.

“What do you mean, I don't know what love is?! The reason I spend so much time with him is 'cause I enjoy it, not 'cause we're doing fucking drugs! And the reason I don't spent any with you is 'cause you're being a bitch, not 'cause he's too possessive!”

Pause.

“I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. Don't cry... Yes, I love you, mom.”

Pause.

"No Ma, I can't... I gotta be with him right now."

Pause.

“Because I care.”

Pause.

"I know there's school tomorrow but don't worry, I'll get there on time.”

Pause.

“Yes, yes, he'll bring me. It's on his... way to work."

Pause. I could smell vegetables being fried and suddenly heard a sharp cry of pain as I guessed Frank burnt himself.

“Fuck! Listen, I'll talk to you later. Bye.”

Beep.

My feet brought me to the kitchen without complaining this time, and I saw Frank turn off his phone with one hand as he rubbed his other palm on butter. Yup, he got burnt.

“You okay, babe?”
My voice sounded better than I had expected, I was glad to realize.

“Oh it's just a little burn, I'm fine. Don't worry.”
I shook my head.

“I mean with your mom...”

“You heard us? What am I saying, of course you heard,” he mumbled. “Anyway. It's okay really, it sounded worse than it is. She just can't get over the fact that now there's someone important in my life that isn't her, and well, it pisses me off that she's taking it all on you.”

I joined him by the counter and he buried his head in the crook of my neck, wrapping his arms around me.

“If you need to spend more time with her, it's alright you know,” I told him.

“God, no. I'd rather spend all the time in the world with you,” he breathed on my skin, making the corners of my mouth lift involuntarily.

“Frank, I was gonna reply with something super cute and corny, but I think something is on fire,” I said, as the bitter smell of smoke joined that of my boyfriend's shampoo in my nostrils.
He pulled away and stared at the blackening carrots in the pan, muttering a mix of «shit» and «motherfucker». He turned off the stove and looked at me apologetically, a smile slowly creeping on his face.

I laughed, and he soon joined in after shoving me jokingly.

“Wanna call for some pizza?” he asked.
I handed him the phone that was sitting on the counter, nodding.

“It's on speed dial.”

* * * * * * *

The moon was glowing high in the sky when we stripped down to our boxers and slipped under the covers, close to each other. It was late even for me, and I was exhausted both physically and mentally, but I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep before another couple of hours. I think the same applied to Frank.

After saying goodnight, he snuggled closer to me and snaked his arm around my waist, placing a kiss to the back of my neck. Spooning with him like this made me remember how lucky I was to be alive, and have him in my life.
I rested my hand on his, on my stomach, but I felt him shiver when his skin came in deeper contact with the scar near my navel.

“Oh, sorry, sorry!” I mumbled, taking my hand away fast, inwardly kicking myself for breaking the moment.
His fingers didn't leave my body, in fact they started tracing the scar up and down for a while, before dragging down to my inner thigh and touching the round burn that colored my skin. I let them. They wandered up under my boxers until they reached the bumpy line on my left leg, and they grazed over the white scar from side to side. I then felt his fingertips move slowly to my upper back, where they drew the outlines of the chain-shaped burn before trailing down the long, dark mark that had been carved in the middle of my back.
Then I couldn't help it, I shivered. But not in a bad way. It didn't feel bad.
That's why I didn't stop him, when he hesitantly started going over the scarred letters with his index, first tracing the «W», then the «H», then the «O», but stopping after the first line of the «R» and skipping right to the «E».
W-H-O-l-E. Whole.

He kissed my shoulder and nuzzled against my neck, brushing his fingers across the last scar on my body; the burn on my arm. The oldest one.

“You know...” I started, looking at the pinkish circle on my flesh. “That was the first one I got.”
For some reason, I couldn't bring myself to say “the first one he gave me”.

“Oh?”

“Yeah. It was... well, not long after the first time he told me he loved me.”
I thought Frank would have stopped me there, but he just nodded for me to continue.

*FLASHBACK*

I was giggling on his couch, with his weight on my legs as he tickled my naked chest, leaning in closer each time I made a futile attempt to push him back.

“St-stop! Or else I'll have to use my special Gerard attack!” I threatened him, smiling as I held up a finger at him in warning. He laughed and pecked my lips, muttering something about how adorable I was, but he stopped. I suddenly shoved him down on the couch, succeeding only because of the element of surprise, and straddled him before he could react.

I pressed my lips to his right nipple and sucked softly, closing my teeth around the stem just enough to make him moan as my tongue lapped at his skin. My mouth then moved to his navel in a trail of kisses, before driving back up until I reached his neck. He breathed a content sigh as I lay down on him, before asking, “What was that for?”

“It was my special Gerard attack,” I told him, chuckling.

“Looks like I'm gonna have to tickle you more often, then...” he teased with a devilish smirk, to which I replied by poking him in the ribs.

“Don't you dare!”

“But I will, and...” he started, but then he grabbed my hand as something flashed through his mind. “Oh! Come on, I wanted to watch this with you... I hope we're not too late.”

He pulled me to the window, almost knocking out a table and making me fall on the way.

“Hey, watch out!”
I smiled at his eagerness and closed my eyes when he told me to, hearing the curtains being pulled to the side before he asked me to open them again. My mouth opened with my eyes.

“Wow...”

The sunset, from this part of town, from his window, looked magical. The sky was gold as sweet hay in the summer, red as a fresh rose and orange as fallen leaves, and the clouds were pink, as pink as they can only be in paradise. The sun shone heavenly in the distance, bathing the city in its soft evening glow.

The next thing I remember was feeling his tongue down my throat as he wrapped his arms around my bare waist, before he pulled away, grinning lightheartedly, and told me he loved me. I pressed us closer as I answered the same, and all was perfect then, for a minute, before he tensed up unexpectedly and pulled away.

“Sorry. I need a smoke.”

“Now?” I laughed, but he wasn't in a good mood anymore. I didn't understand. He grabbed his coat and left the place quickly, for a «smoke».
He didn't come back until an hour later, and when he did, he was wasted. It scared me. I had never seen him drunk before, except for that one night when he came back from his dad's. But it wasn't that bad.

This time, he was cursing, insulting me, and throwing things around the room. He found something to blame me for, something I had done wrong, and yelled at me. I forgot what it was about, but it didn't make any sense. He could barely walk, but I managed to bring him to bed when he calmed down. We didn't talk for the rest of the night.

The next morning, he apologized.

*end FLASHBACK*

“... and then a couple of days, maybe a week after,” I continued telling Frank – who just listened to my story and rubbed my hip occasionally – “he hit me for the first time. It was weird. He just... He came back from work, and walked straight to me, and smacked me hard across the face. I-I didn't know why. It hurt... Not the slap, but the fact that he slapped me, you know? And then he just locked himself up in his room, and I could hear him sobbing a couple of minutes later. The next day, well the next day is when he really changed. The next day, when I asked him what the fuck the slap was about, he blabbered some shit I'll never remember, but I know his voice was cold, a-and shaky, and he grabbed my arm and... twisted his cigarette in my flesh while I fucking screamed... And then he got drunk again, and he was never the same.”

I turned around to face Frank when I finished telling him about my burn, and he answered to the tale the way I had wished he would: smiling reassuringly, and comforting me simply in being there, holding me in a tender embrace under the covers.

“You know, I didn't think it would, but it felt good to tell you this,” I told him, closing my eyes as his breath hit the side of my neck.

“Whenever you need to, babe. Let it all out... I'll be there,” he promised, hugging me tighter.

Soon my lips met his and the usual fireworks flew in my heart, warming it up until I felt like it was about to burst out of my chest, or melt in my body. I took Frank's hands in mine when we pulled away, and looked him in the pit of his starry eyes, truly and lovingly.

“I used to love Steve, Frank. But never, never in my life, I have loved more than since the day I first kissed you.”