I'll Be Fine Even Though I'm Not Always Right.

My mind was still processing everything that Lea had just said, she had aborted our baby, then tried to kill herself because of the guilt and regret of doing just that. I couldn’t help but feel responsible for all that, If I had of stayed, she would still be having the baby and would never had attempted to kill herself. I looked from the pale white wall that was opposite to me, to her- her eyes glazed over, tears streaming from them. I didn’t know how to react to it, so for the time being I pulled her body into mine, embracing her into a comforting hug, something that she may have been starved of. Soft sobs escaped her body, tears soaking deep into my jacket, her sobs caused me to sob too, as though it was something we had to get through together. We stayed like that for a while, it felt right to be in each others arms again. I gently rubbed her back, trying to soothe her a little, I could tell she was be weary of me, she wasn’t sure how I would react, that I wont stay, I’d walk out again. But I wont. Never again would I do that to her. I’m not going to blame her for what happened, she done what she thought was right at the time, she would have had to raise the child alone, but the thing is she wouldn’t have had to, I would have helped. I knew she regretted doing what she did, she knew she couldn’t change anything, that the past is the past and that could never be changed.

“Lea I’m not mad, I’m disappointed and hurt that you didn’t tell me, but I understand the situation you were in” I mumbled into her soft dark hair.

She didn’t say anything, just nodded softly before cuddling into my chest more. Her breathing had settled a bit, which indicated that she was asleep. I gently pulled both our bodies to the top of the small bed, where I placed her beside me and covered ourselves with the light pink duvet. I stroked her hair for a while, before I too nodded off into a deep sleep.

The sun beamed through the open window the next morning, I squinted as I struggled up into a sitting position. I wiped the sleep from my eyes to see Lea still fast asleep beside me. Remembering the night before, I was curious to know what was going through her pretty little head, but that was impossible. I wanted her out of this place and back home safe and sound in her own environment, it would do her a lot of good.

A soft knock was placed on the wooden door,

“Lea? Are you awake?” the male voice I recognised to be Jack’s spoke softly.

I didn’t know what to do, would he be angry that I was here, that I stayed the night. I didn’t know. I kept quiet, adjusting the clothes I had from the previous night as I climbed gently out of the bed. I walked over to the door and opened it.

“Alex?!” Jack whispered loudly. “What the fuck are you doing here?” he asked irritated.

I walked out of the room, closing the door behind me.

“We don’t have to whisper now, I’m here because I followed you yesterday, I needed to know what happened, why she was in here?” I said whilst looking around the hallway.

“You followed us? Dude! You stayed the night too?! That is wrong, man” Jack sighed whilst shaking his head. “You left her, Alex. You were the reason this all happened. Why can’t you just leave her be? You‘ll end up hurting her again, but this time she is more fragile, what if she tries it again, Alex? I can‘t go through that again.” he added with a huff.

“Yes, I followed you Jack. Yes, after she told me everything that happened, she fell asleep on me, I didn’t want to leave her again- it wont happen again, I’ll make sure of it. I can’t leave her again, Jack. I still care. I only stayed with Morgan because she was dying, I couldn’t just dump her. Imagine how bad that would be. I’m not trying to say I didn’t love her, because I did Jack, but Lea had always been first. I wont hurt her again, I couldn’t bare to see it myself. And Jack- I’m really proud of you for what you did, you saved her life. You were there when I wasn’t. You’re a really good friend to her Jack, no one could compare to that, not even me” I breathed with a smile at the last part of the sentence.

Jack tried not to smile, but he failed though a frown soon replaced it.

“Thanks, Alex. I’m glad she told you, but please don’t be mad at her. Believe me, it was a tough time for her, I was with her though it all. It was nothing, really. I know I saved her life- I’m glad I did. Do you know what broke my heart, Alex? Was the fact she never stopped asking for you, in and out of consciousness she would speak you’re name. I never did stop loving her, but if she’s happy, I’m happy. If you two get back together, I’m not going to hate you or anything, I just- I just want you to know that. Just give her everything, Alex. She deserves it for all she’s been through” he sighed, with a hint of sadness.

I pulled him into a man hug, just like we used to do all the time. I wont tell him this, because he’d just get big headed, but he’s my hero. He really truly is.