Born and Broken Every Single Time.

“So that’s why I can’t go there anymore,” Gerard slurred as he boasted about being banned from one of the biggest bars just out of town. “Silly, silly people.”

“Insaaaane,” I grinned as I took the last swig from this bottle and heard mass clinking when I dropped it in the bin. I shuffled over to the chair and picked up the last bottle of the batch, opening it and returning to where I’d left.

“So Frankie boy,” he continued as he drank some more. I looked round upon being called. Gerard had amazing eyes, I hadn’t really noticed before. “Why haven’t you got a girl like Mikey has? No offence to my brother but you seem less likely to be the single friend.”

“Just don’t,” I shrugged. It was never really a concern for me. I wasn’t one of these people who craved a relationship, I was more someone who went with the flow as many people I met at parties could probably confirm. “How about you Mr. Way?”

“Ooh Mr. Way,” he laughed. “Just not really into anyone since Julia, she was a maniac. Kept trying to get me to get my lip pierced like her ex had. Freaky.”

“Stalker,” I cruelly remarked. I pictured Gerard with a lip ring as he sat beside me. It’d really suit him I figured, he had such nice lips now I came to think of it. Wait, what am I even thinking this for?

“Pretty much,” he smirked. “Food! I’m ordering that pizza now, slightly late but yeah. Want anything?”

“No, thanks.” Asking me about food always lowered my mood; people treat me as if I had a problem. If I was a girl I’d be deemed fashionable, but I wasn’t so it was therefore a trouble.

I flicked the sound back up as Gerard headed downstairs to call for a Pizza, squinting my eyes as the screen blurred in my vision. I heard my stomach rumble and told it to be quiet as if talking to it would shut it up. I heard Gerard walking back up the stairs so I decided to be a smart ass and down the rest of my bottle, if anything just to keep up with him.

“You’re wasted dude,” he laughed as he stumbled into the room with two more bottles.

“Thanks,” I replied both to his remark and for the drink I’d just received. I didn’t really hang about with Gerard much. He was a few years older, and I’d always been Mikeys friend – it just seemed strange to be friends with his brother. Even when we were younger, he was busy going out when we just hung about in the house.

-

We decided to throw on a film, as television offered absolutely no entertainment. Gerard ignored faint calls from downstairs and in the end his mother appeared with the pizza he’d ordered, tutting at his drunken state.

“Want a slice?” he offered, shoving the box under my nose.

“I’m fine thanks.” I forced a smile and watched as he screwed his face up at my answer.

“Just one,” he continued. “I’ll force feed you until you do.”

“Fine,” I conceded, picking up a piece and taking a minute bite. Gerard stuffed his face, not concerning with the size of my mouthfuls and just happy I’d taken one bit.

As Gerard picked up his fourth slice I finished my first. He silently offered me another by pushing the box at me again but accepted my refusal this time round.

I took a few more mouthfuls of beer, washing the taste of pizza out of my mouth and leaned back against the wall, tilting my head and watching Gerard. For someone older than me I found it weird I could just be normal with him, there was usually at least one difference of which they’d be more mature but not with him, which probably explained why he and Mikey were so close.

“Right dude,” he slurred. “Mikey’ll be back soon, same curfew as always so I’m heading back to my room. Enjoy you’re hangover!”

As he stood up his face showed his concentration vested into not falling over. I automatically got up, feeling I was slightly more capable of walking and tried to assist him, taking his weight on my shoulders and he leaned on me and walking down the hall to his room. As we got to the door he shook me off, turning round and holding onto the doorframe.

“Thanks for tonight man,” he giggled. “Best drinking bud in ages.”

As he opened the door he fell straight through, landing on the floor with a thud. I tried to step over him to help him but he decided to trip me up, which resulted in mass swearing from me as I landed awkwardly.

“Drunk,” he laughed as I turned over to face him. “Can’t even walk straight.”

“Funny.” I smirked as I tried to pick myself up from the floor.

“Frank,” he mumbled, making me turn my attention back to him. “Why don’t you eat?”

“I do,” I spoke in barely a whisper. It was never a comfortable subject. “I’m just never hungry, food doesn’t agree with me. I deal.”

“Just eat anyway?” Gerard remarked as he screwed up his face at my response. I didn’t retaliate. It was like I was in school again, a quick remark and bam - my heart sank. I was being told this was down to me, I was choosing this. The shock feeling gave me a new found sense of energy, enough to leave the room without a second word or look back.