Born and Broken Every Single Time.

I woke up the next morning with a groan as my phone alarm went off. I reluctantly opened my eyes as the infernal racket finally caved in and squinted awkwardly as the light attacked them. I had returned to Mikey's room with a smile that night. There was a temptation just to stay there for the last night, but I think he understood why I wanted to go back to Mikey's room. I don't think I could have stayed there then forced myself to leave and pack my things. At least this way I didn't disturb anyone, I didn't have anything to distract my mind. Much.

I dragged myself up and pulled an outfit for today from my desolate drawer and quickly got changed. I didn't feel this was an occasion worth looking good for, so any extra effort seemed pointless. I pulled my bags from beside Mikey's bed and set to work at cramming them full with my clothes. They weren't folded, just tossed in. I scampered around the room and picked up my random possessions like deodorant and school stuff and threw them haphazardly in with my clothes before struggling to zip them up. I was thankful they didn't burst, mainly because one of them was my favourite bag.

I heard a knock on the door and said a quick "come in" as I presumed it was Gerard. I seemed to briefly psyche myself up for him coming in before being met with the sight of Mrs. Way holding a plate with toast and a cup of hot chocolate. She smiled widely at me sitting on the floor as she placed the plate and cup down on the bedside table and sat on her youngest sons bed.

"I just thought you might like some breakfast, I heard you moving around," she began chirpily. "Seeing as it's a big day and all."

"Thanks," I replied sincerely. "But you really didn't have to."

"I don't mind," she smiled. "I just wanted to have a little chat with you before your dad comes. It's been nice having you here."

"Thanks for having me," I replied with an awkward smile as I knelt up to reach the hot chocolate before sitting back down. I took a few sips as she continued.

"Don't thank me, we want to thank you," she continued. "Gerard… you have no idea how long we've just wanted something to happen with him. We knew there was something there, but it was just never going to flourish. You made it happen Frank, you've changed my boy's life."

"I didn't," I countered quickly. I saw she was slightly teary as she spoke of the change in Gerard, but not anything extremely emotional. "It was more him, he just told me and I made him see it through."

"But that's the point. He's never told anyone else, none of us. Maybe he's told someone else but-"

"He said he hadn't."

"That's my point," she smiled. "Not even we could get through to him. He never told us, or anyone according to you. But he told you Frank. His life is going to finally take off because of you. You must be really special to him."

"Special?"

"I would have said friend, but I just always saw the way you two would look at each other," she grinned, seeming more enthusiastic in the conversation. "No matter what happens when he leaves, you'll always be something to him. You've changed his life."

"I di-"

"Don't say you didn't," she interrupted quietly with a smile. "Without you he'd still be here with no urge to do something with his life. One day, if you ever have kids, you'll understand how hard it is to watch them fade away into nothing. Then you'll understand why I'm thanking you now. Now eat your toast!"

"Don't worry," I smiled. "And it's okay, honestly. I'm just glad I helped."

"We'll miss you Frank," she sighed as she stood up from the bed, taking a moment to ruffle my hair as she passed. "It was like having another son, but you'll still come round, yes?"

"I wouldn't dare not to," I grinned as she looked around for an answer, giggling to herself at my response before closing the door behind her.

I sat for a moment, clutching the hot chocolate in my hands as I smiled at her words. I didn't expect anything like that. It was nice to know that they had felt I was part of their family at times, nice to know that they were really grateful for helping Gerard. Honestly? I didn't feel like I had done anything. It just felt the right thing to do, it hadn't felt something extraordinary. Today I learnt it was more than extraordinary if you were a parent, it was one of the most precious things that could happen. There was one line that resounded in my mind:
You must be really special to him.

I smiled to myself again as I took another sip of hot chocolate, placing the cup down beside me as I knelt up again to reach the toast. It seemed weird to think how much everything had changed here. It was strange to think I could make an impact on someone's life like I suppose I had on Gerard, and in turn he had done the same for me. Somehow I could now look at myself and not hate what I saw. I saw my flaws, naturally and probably scrutinised them more than others would, but I didn't hate what I saw. I could actually eat happily now. I'd even overeat. It seemed such a surreal concept. I realised, I overate because I refused to let myself get how I was before. I'd come through it, I never thought I could. And it was all thanks to…

I heard a knock on the door and responded with my usual 'come in' as I swallowed the remainder of the toast I'd been given. The door swung open and I was met with Gerard, who had clearly just gotten up, smiling at me. He walked in and closed the door behind him, slumping onto the floor opposite me before he began.

"I thought I'd come say bye while I was awake, I know if I went back to sleep you'd probably be gone when I woke up."

"You didn't have to," I smiled. "I'm only going home."

"Yeah but still, it's been nice having you here. Thank you…"

"I've had enough thank yous already this morning," I giggled, causing him to smirk slightly.

"I'm guessing my mum, perhaps?" I nodded a smirked response before he continued. "I knew she couldn't resist."

"Well what can I say?"

"Can I come with you, when you go home?" he asked, taking me slightly by surprise.

"Uh, I guess, why?"

"I just thought I could help you sort your room back out," he shrugged. "I guess it's better to have someone help you, unless you want your parents to.."

"I'd love you to," I smiled, feeling genuinely happy that he'd even think of that. The thought hadn't even crossed my mind. I hadn't even thought of whether my room would be the same as it was, strewn with stray posters or cleaned for my pending arrival. I guess there was only one way to find out. Gerard smiled at my acceptance of his offer before excusing himself to get ready, leaving me with my packed bags, my remaining hot chocolate and a seemingly never ending pit of thoughts to get lost in.

The next half an hour seemed to fly. It was essentially my final half hour of being a member of the household. I heard a knock on the front door downstairs and Mrs. Way offer an enthusiastic hello. I knew it was my dad. I reluctantly picked up my bags and slung them over my shoulder, balancing as best I could. I walked out of Mikey's room, taking one quick look back before I shut the door. It's not like I would never see it again, but it wouldn't be the same I guess.

I looked around briefly as I heard Gerard's door open. I smiled in relief to know he still wanted to come. He checked if it was still okay for him to come and I agreed, dumping my bags clumsily as I walked over and pulled him into the tightest hug I could muster as a thank you. I don't think he understood how much it meant just to know he wanted to help me today. I think he knew how difficult this was going to be for me more than most. And honestly? There is no one else I'd rather be with today.

I pulled back and just smiled at him, feeling my insides flip as he reciprocated the simple notion. He loosened his grip on me and mumbled a "lets do this" as he walked past me, picking up two of my bags, which I noted to be the two heaviest, and heading down the stairs. I stood for a second or two with a raised eyebrow, unsure of why he had just seemingly continued on so quickly, but I picked up the other bag and scampered down the stairs to catch up with him and be met with my dad standing in the hallway talking to Mrs. Way.

"Hi Frank," he said with a smile, I smiled back and said hello, noting the slight awkwardness in the air. "Let me take these in the car."

He took the bags from Gerard and myself and headed out to the car, leaving me with Gerard and his mother in the hall. She pulled me into one of those tight motherly hugs I'd heard of. I say heard of, strangely enough I'd never had a moment like this with my own mother. She seemed to smother me in the hug before she loosened her grip, resting her hands on my shoulders as she spoke to me. I saw her eyes seem slightly glazed over with tears, I didn't understand why she would be so emotional over me leaving, but then again, I did wonder if it was back to the Gerard thing. The change in his life that she had dreamed of.

"It's been wonderful having you here Frank," she smiled. "Good luck with everything, and thank you."

"It's no problem," I smiled politely. "Thank you for having me, you really helped."

"Not a problem sugar," she replied. "I think your dad's ready."

"Oh, okay," I blurted out, looking around to see him leaning against the door frame waiting patiently. "I'll see you soon I guess!"

I gave her a quick hug in thanks before walking out of the front door, explaining that Gerard was coming with us. My dad seemed to accept it immediately. I knew he didn't have a problem with Gerard coming too, even though he probably wanted it to remain a family day, but I knew he wouldn't' disagree with me today of all days.

The car ride home was practically silent conversation wise. I was in the back seat with Gerard and we both sat reflecting silently. My dad asked me how I was and after telling him I was okay, we all seemed to fall silent to the dull tones of the radio. Before another word was uttered, he pulled into our drive and we all sharply got out the car. He offered to take my bags but I told him we had it covered.

We all headed into the house. My dad told me my mum was in the living room, which I took as a hint. I walked down the hall and looked in to find her sitting on the sofa with a cup of coffee, intently watching some chat show on television. I said a quick hi and told her we were just going to try and sort my stuff in my room. She accepted my words and smiled at me welcomingly. I could see in her eyes how much it meant for her to have me home. I actually felt kind of worried that after a few days, that spark in her eyes would disappear and turn back to the hatred that once filled the household.

I walked back down the hall and headed up the stairs, telling Gerard to follow. My dad said he'd bring us up some drinks as we scurried upstairs and I shouted a thanks down, deciding it was the easiest way. My confidence seemed to falter as I came to my door. What if I opened it and faced the same heartbreak I did before? What would it feel like to walk back into the room full of these horrid memories? What if they're still scattered on the floor, just there to taunt me? What if-

My endless questions stopped running through my friend abruptly as I felt Gerard's hands rest on my waist from behind and him rest his chin on my shoulder. He just whispered a simple "You can do this" to me and seemed to ignite a small ounce of determination inside of me. I took a deep breath before opening the door to find it wasn't as I had expected.

It had been cleared. All the posters remains had gone, although I noticed a pile in the corner which I presumed to be the posters that could be salvaged. I walked in, hearing Gerard follow me and dropped my bags as I stared up at my wall at a new poster of Slash that stared back at me. It was the same one I had before, but seeing as that one was now in a few hundred pieces, I consider this one new. I felt the strangest feeling ever. I felt that inspiration flutter within me that I once had before. I felt like I was back to the days where I would wake up and feel inspired to play guitar just by seeing his face stare back at me. I felt like this, this simple poster was more than a fucking poster, it was a new start.

My dad knocked on the door gently to alert me to the fact he was there before placing two cans of cola on my bedside table. He didn't say a word, just smiling as he quickly looked between me and the poster I had been staring at before he left the room, closing the door behind him. I just stared blankly at Gerard, unsure of what to say. I couldn't believe that this wasn't a disaster. I honestly believed it would have been, which shows how little faith I've grown to have in my parents. But this? It didn't register.

He just smiled at me in that familiar knowing way before saying, "Lets get everything unpacked, yeah?"

We started unpacking things and filling up the drawers with their previous garments, occasionally stopping to take a sip of cola. I was finishing filling the bottom drawer of my set when I looked around upon realising Gerard had seemingly stopped. I saw that he had pulled the blutac off the bottom of the Slash poster and was drawing on my wall with a sharpie underneath it. Needless to say I was rather bemused.

"What the fuck are you doing?" I asked, raising an eyebrow sceptically. He told me to come over and see, so I obliged, curiosity being the driving force of my notion. He had written something in script, which I soon realised to be lyrics.

Got eyes of the bluest skies as if they thought of rain, I hate to look into those eyes and see an ounce of pain.

I frowned slightly at the lyrics at first, unsure of why he'd written them. I seemed to understand slightly that they were from Sweet Child O' Mine, which since the night I played it on guitar, had seemingly become 'our song' in a distant way, but I didn't see any relevance. Thankfully Gerard saw my confusion and care to elaborate.

"These lyrics are like your past," he began calmly. "This poster is the beginning of everything getting good, it's covering everything bad that's ever happened to you. This is your new start Frank, this is a new start for both of us."