Change

I lay back against Taylor's chest, his arm wrapped around me and our fingers laced together at my collar bone. His other arm was resting on the armrest, and I could see him tapping his fingers on it out of the corner of my eye.

This was it.

Taylor's flight left early the next morning, and whatever this was, it would be over.

I wasn't sure what we were doing. Part of me was questioning why I would spread the pain out until the last second, while the other part of me knew I wanted to spend all the time I could with him, no matter how much it hurt me.

My parents had gone out, and I knew my mom knew what was going on. Taylor and I quietly talked about anything we could, ignoring the huge elephant in the room. We watched TV, did anything to take our minds off of what was going to happen the next morning, until finally the silence was too much for me to bear.

"Hey," I said with a meek smile, letting my head fall back onto his stomach and looking up at him. He raised his eyebrows tiredly and I continued, "Let's go swimming instead of sitting here feeling sorry for ourselves."

Taylor looked surprised for a moment before he shrugged. I got up and he got up with me, our hands still together over my shoulder. We walked, side by side, until we reached the back door and we had to squeeze through one by one.

I didn't think twice before getting into the water with all of my clothes on. I didn't intend to waste time changing, and besides, Taylor didn't have a bathing suit here, and my dad's wouldn't fit him. I wasn't even entirely sure if my dad could have found his - he hadn't been swimming in years.

I dove in and pushed myself off through the warm water. As I surfaced about halfway through the pool, I caught sight of Taylor standing on the side by the deep end, pulling off his t-shirt. He jumped in, doing a cannonball, and I shrieked with laughter as the water sprayed me. Taylor surfaced and, upon seeing my laughter, he grinned. He swam towards me and I tried to get away, but he was quicker and stronger. I stood up to try and run through the water unsuccessfully, and Taylor's arms entangled themselves around my waist. I continued to howl with laughter and I felt Taylor's laughs vibrate from his ribcage through me, where his body was against my back. His head was rested atop mine.

I spun around and Taylor's arms rested on my hips. We stared at one another until I broke the gaze, looking to the side. My eyes trailed along the side of the pool, and my heart ached as I recalled how Taylor and I had had our first kiss there. I felt Taylor's eyes on me, and I bit my lip, looking down. I folded my arms across my chest and watched the water moving between us.

"Vee."

Taylor's voice saying my name sent my heart lurching. The truth, the fact that this was almost over, was like a wrecking ball, crashing through my body with overwhelming force. With that, a single, slow tear tumbled over the edge of my eyelid, and my body was pulled into Taylor's.

His arms wrapped around me for a tight hug. I held my own arms up in between our two bodies, leaning into him for all that I was worth. He rubbed his arms up and down my back soothingly, not saying a word. After a while I pulled my face out of his chest and wiped my nose with the back of my hand.

"I'm sorry, Taylor. I didn't mean to."

Taylor's eyebrows furrowed. "You didn't mean to what?"

"Cry."

To my surprise, Taylor smiled. He shook his head. "Let's go inside."

We headed inside and upstairs. I was about to go get some clean clothes for Taylor when he stopped me, grabbing both of my hands in his. He pulled me towards him and pressed a kiss to my lips. I gave him a sad smile after, and turned around, hurrying into my parents' room. I gave Taylor a clean pair of gym shorts from my dad's drawer, and I left to change in the bathroom. I came back and found him lying on my bed, eyes closed. I watched him for a moment before stepping into the room and closing the door. I felt Taylor's eyes on me as I crossed the room and then crawled into bed beside him. I rolled over on my side, my elbow on the bed, propping my head up. Taylor was on his back, and he glanced over at me. We stared at one another and I let out a sigh.

"Goodnight, Tay." I used the nickname he hated to try and lighten the mood. Instead of scolding me like he usually did, Taylor smiled. He leaned forward and kissed me firmly, long and hard. For some reason, I knew it was full of finality. This had to end. I cuddled into him and closed my eyes, not wanting the sleep to overtake me, but knowing it was inevitable.

***

I woke to an empty bed that brought along with it an empty heart. The dull ache in my chest was overwhelming as I lay on my back, my hand running over the sheets where Taylor had been the night before.

I was going to miss him. I didn't know what I was going to do without him. I had never been one to say summer love was that big of a deal, but man, it felt like a pretty big deal right then.

And it was then that it hit me.

I loved him. I was in love with him.

I glanced over at the clock. 5:30. I looked away before I looked back at it quickly. 5:30... Taylor's flight was at 7:30. Which meant he had just left about a half hour before I had woken to say goodbye to his parents. Which meant he was probably just getting to the airport.

***

I couldn't believe I was doing this. As I turned into the parking garage of the airport, I felt completely idiotic. What was I doing? I didn't know. What was the point of this? I wasn't sure.

I jogged down the hallways and into the open corridor. There was no guarantee that he wasn't already in the baggage claim area. I glanced at the time on my phone: 6:54. My heart sank. I had to be too late.

I looked around for the board with the names and numbers of the flights, and as my eyes landed on it, I searched dejectedly for Taylor's flight. Just as my eyes read the word Delayed, I heard my name  being called and I spun around.

I was overcome with relief and then panic. Why was I here again?

His hat was pulled down low over his face, but I knew it was him. He stood up from his seat and approached me, his face confused and strained.

"Why are you here?"

"Um." My lip quivered and I took a deep breath. "I, uh."

Taylor glanced around him before pulling me down in the seat beside where he had been sitting before. There weren't many people around at this time in the morning, and Taylor gazed at me, waiting for me to continue. My heart lurched as I met his concerned eyes. He raised his eyebrows as if to say, 'continue'.

"Taylor..." I whispered his name, and I saw his shoulders slump.

"Vee, don't. We decided that we had to do this. Don't-"

"No," I interrupted, shaking my head violently. My breath caught in my throat and I cleared it before continuing, "You can't go." Taylor opened his mouth to speak but I finished, "You can't leave. I mean obviously you have to but you can't leave me. Don't leave me." My voice broke and I met his gaze, my eyes brimming with tears.

"Ronnie..." Taylor lifted off his hat, ran his fingers through his hair, and put his hat back on his head. "We can't work out. It won't work out, no matter how much we want it to."

"I know. I don't know. I don't know how this could work but... It has to." My voice cracked and I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand. "It has to. Because... I never thought it was possible... But... You've changed, you really have, and I don't want to not be with you. I really, really want to be with you." I bit my lip as Taylor's gaze fell to the floor. He slouched back in his chair, while I stayed perched at the end of mine. I felt a tear slip and I hastily brushed it away. He didn't say anything, and I felt my stomach fall. "Okay. I thought - I just..." I chewed on the inside of my cheek to stop the tears, and stood up.

Within seconds, Taylor had latched onto my wrist and pulled me into him. His arms pulled me into his chest as tight as he could before he pulled away with a strained smile. One of his hands lifted to tilt my chin up so that he could press his lips to mine. I gasped, surprised, and when he pulled away, he pulled me in for another hug. I felt my heart pound, and I wasn't sure what was going on.

"Taylor," I whispered after a few seconds.

He held me out at arms length and looked around before pulling me closer to him by the waist. He stared down at me before murmuring, "Vee... I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you."

My eyes widened and a lone tear slid down my cheek as a smile lit up my face. "I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you, too," I whispered.

Taylor's entire face lit up into a smile and he kissed me hard, his hands on either side of my neck. He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine. He shook his head and let out a quiet laugh. "How is this going to work?"

I shrugged, wrapping my arms around his waist. "I don't know. But it will. It has to."