Drain Notes

4 months. 
4 months since the incident, 4 months since Scout aborted the pregnancy. 4 months of pure agonizing torture and loneliness.

Jordan had showed up at Scouts house at ungodly hours screaming her name and banging on the door, begging and pleading for her to talk to him. 
Scout would sit at the top of the stairs with her knees pulled up to her chest and cry. 

She wanted to run down those stairs and rip open the door. She wanted with all her heart to kiss him again cause she missed him, she wasn't over what happened and she wasn't ready to let him back in even though that feeling deep in her gut and the voice deep in her head told her he hadn't done anything wrong it was all just one big misunderstanding. But scout wouldn't, she wouldn't move from her spot on the top of those stairs, she wouldn't release the grip on her legs nor would she allow the tears to stop falling.
She needed him and she knew it. 
Hours and hours this would go on, and Tiana could only take hours of it.

Unlike Scout, Tiana knew for a fact Jordan didn't cheat, she didn't want Scout to leave Jordan hanging out there but she loved her cousin and knew she wasn't ready to talk to Jordan quite yet. So Tiana would walk by Scout and open up the door before stepping outside.

"Tiana-I have to talk to her, please let me." He would cry.

Tiana would sigh and look at Jordan sympathetically, "Jordan, she isn't ready, she is still trying to cop with everything, with the abortion and with you"

Jordan would begin to wipe his tears on his sleeve and sniffle, "I can't do it anymore. I'm literally going crazy without her, you have to let me see her just once" 

"I can't do that Jordan, look" she would say, "I love you, I really do, but that's my cousin in there, my cousin who is hurt and tormented by the thought she terminated you and hers child. That was the hardest decision she ever had to make and you have to give her time"

"she didn't have to get an abortion," he said, tears still rolling down his cheeks, "we could have raised her together, been a family, she could have kept the baby, she could have-" he began before he started to break down more.

It was eating him apart, from the inside out, ripping his being  piece by piece until there is nothing left.

"Jordan, It's not that simple, she did the first thing that came her mind" Tiana would say, trying to calm him down, "as much as I hate seeing you like this and would love it if she would talk to you but Jordan, you have to go so she can sleep"

Jordan nodded, "can you do me a favor?" He would ask.

Tiana would nod, "of course," she would say.

"Tell Scout that I'm sorry and that I........I Love Her."

Tiana would nod again, "I will, now go home Jordan" 

Tiana used to walk into the door and see Scout still in the same position of the stairs and Tiana would shake her head.

Tiana would walk up the stairs only to be stopped by the sound of Scout's voice.

"How is he?" Scout would ask, no emotion to be found in the cracks of her voice.

"He's managing" Tiana says before she sits beside Scout and puts a hand on Scout's knee. "I really wish you would talk to him" 

Scout didn't answer.

"He says he is sorry and that he loves you" Tiana said before she got up walked into her room.

When Scout hears the door of Tiana's bedroom close she would scurry down the stairs in hopes Jordan was still at the front door.

She would pull out a piece of paper and a sharpie and scribble a note before folding it up and slidin it underneath the door frame.

As Jordan walked off the porch he heard the sound from behind him.
He turned around and saw in the light a white square.
He picked it up and unfolded it slowly, holding towards the light so he could see.

I'm Sorry, and I Love You Too

He read and from the corner of his eye saw a flash of movement.
He looked inside the kitchen window his eyes wet with tears and saw at the top of the stairs, Scout.
At that moment he found something, something in the girl at the top of the stairs, something he hasn't felt in 4 months and that was a shimmer of hope.

Scout had began seeing a therapist, someone she could talk to besides her cousin. Her cousin was a big help but sometimes she just needed someone different. 

When scout arrived at the office she was instantly sent into the large room where the ladie waited.
Scout's therapist was a young girl, about 30 with her auburn hair always done up differently each time scout wen in for an appointment.
Once a week scout would have to dig through her thoughts and fish out the ones of Jordan. She hated having to talk about the same things over and over again but she loved talking about Jordan, she always did.

"Scarlett, how have you been since I last saw you?" the therapist asked.

"I've been fine" Scout said.

"Tell me what happened this week" she said. 

Scout looked down at her hands. 

"Jordan came to see me again" she said.

"And did you talk to him?" the therapist asked crossing her legs.
Scout shook her head.

"And why is that?"

"I'm not ready to" Scout said looking up at her therapist.

"Why?"

"He cheated on me"

"Do you really believe he cheated on you?" the therapist asked looking up through her glasses.

Scout shook her head, "no" she said.

"Why did you give up your baby scout?" 
Scout looked back down at her hands before she answered, "I wasn't ready, we weren't ready"

"Who is we?" 

"Jordan and I"

The therapist looked down at her yellow pad of paper, "did you ever ask Jordan if he was ready for kids or not?"
Scout shook her head.

"Then how do you know he wasn't ready?"

Scout looked up, "he is a musician, always on tour, always doing his normal musician things, how could he raise a child if he was gone? He wasn't ready" Scout snapped.

The therapist scribbled in a few notes on her paper.

"Do you like Jordan being a musician?"

"Of course, he loves it so I should to"

"If you don't think Jordan cheated then why won't you talk to him?" Scout was asked.

"I can't face him, not after what I did, he probably hates me"

"If he hates you then why does he keep showing up at your house?"

Scout shrugged.

"That will be all for today Scarlett" the therapist said.

Scout sat up and scurried out of the office to her car. She rested her head against the black steering wheel and took in a few deep breaths before turning the key and backing out of the parking lot.