You Said You Read Me Like A Book

After Gerard had left, I went back to the room and I began to work on my schoolwork. As I was erasing one of the answers, my pencil fell off the bed and rolled under it. I groaned in frustration and leaned over the side. I peeked under the mattress and found the pencil, but I saw a piece of paper or something as well. I reached under and grabbed both of the objects and sat back up on the bed. I looked at the paper, which was actually a photograph. I studied it for a couple of minutes. Mikey had a girl in his arms, bridal style. The girl had short, black hair and was wearing an Anthrax shirt and a tattered mini skirt. I was so focused on the photo that I didn’t even hear the door open.

“Whatcha got there?” Mikey asked as he crossed the room. He sat next to me and I handed him the picture. A smile crept across his face. He looked at me. “Where’d you find this?”

“It was under the bed. I dropped my pencil, and I happened to find it, “I explained. He nodded slowly. “Is that her?” He nodded again.

“That was my Jenny, “he laughed quietly. “God, she was so beautiful.” I wanted to know more, but I didn’t want to push any boundaries anymore than I already had. “This was taken on her nineteenth birthday. She had just come home from work, and I’d planned a surprise party for her. When she came in, she ran at me and I picked her up. Gerard snapped this shot.” I smiled at his affectionate tone.

“What happened?” I asked, almost immediately regretting letting it slip. He looked at me and the pain came back to his eyes. “You don’t have to tell me, “I said quickly. He just shook his head.

“It was the Friday before Halloween, and we had gotten into a fight. She was working crazy hours and I told her that she should stand up for herself and not just take everyone’s shifts. She told me that I was too possessive and that I didn’t understand that we really needed the money. I told her that I could get another job, but she told me not to worry about it. It turned into a fight over her caring more about work than her family… And she got pissed and left. It was a stupid fight, and I shouldn’t have let her go, but I did, “he said quietly. I waited for him to continue. “It’d been raining really bad. I, uh, I got a call about an hour or two after she had left. It was a police officer, and he told me that my fiancé had been killed in a car accident. At first, I was so shocked that I couldn’t feel anything. After it dawned on me, I fell apart. She was my everything, you know? She was my reason for waking up every morning. And, after that, I became a little suicidal.”

“Oh, “I said softly. He shook his head and continued.

“Then, and this is going to sound crazy, but, I had this dream. Well, it was kind of a dream, but it felt so real… Anyways, in this dream, I saw her. She told me that she was sorry to have left me so suddenly and she said that, uh, I needed to live for the both of us. She said she’d always love me, but that I couldn’t remain hung up over her. So, “he said with a shaky breath. “That’s what I’ve been doing. I guess, really, what I’ve been doing is trying not to be afraid to keep on living or to walk this world alone.” I nodded understandingly. “It’s just one of those things. I mean, she barely even lived. Do you know how old she was? Twenty. She had just turned twenty a month before.”

“I don’t know what to say…”I said quietly. He just shrugged.

“It’s fine, though. Because now, I have something else to live for, “he smiled at me.

“What might that be?” I asked.

“Well, someone’s gotta take care of you, “he beamed. I smiled and wrapped my arms around him.

“You are one crazy boy, Michael Way, “I laughed. He shrugged.

“Crazy? No, I prefer the term ‘mentally unstable’, “he smirked. I poked him in his stomach and laughed quietly.

“I love you nonetheless.”