Heart of Man

I looked at the man across from the table from me, before bursting into hysterics. “Why would you say that?”

His features turned from grim to somewhat relieved. “I don’t know, I just know that pregnant women get sick.”

I gave him a pointed look. “So fuck the fact that I might be sick, I’m just automatically pregnant.” He looked at me guiltily. “Just so you know, I haven’t had sex in God knows how long. As much as I’d really like to get laid, it’s not big on my priority list.”

“Lalalalalala!” He covered his ears, as if he was in the car with his mother and she was giving him the birds and the bees conversation. “Don’t you have a boyfriend or something?”

“Yeah, and I’m going to his game on the 22nd. I’m pretty sure that’s the reason he wants to break up, is because I won’t sleep with him, and have refused to for a year.”

“Out of everything we talked about, you leave out the one thing every girl loves talking about. You never mentioned having a relationship with anyone. Who is he? Let me guess, he’s a Flyer.”

“It’s Bobrovksy. You know him.” I mumbled under my breath, as the waitress walked by to tend to another table past us.

“Really? Kid’s got game.” I raised my eye brows at the man in front of me. “What?!”

“Fuck off.”

“Noooo thank you! I like hanging out with you.”

~
“Paul, my flight’s in five hours or so. I can’t dilly dally around, getting past security and everything.” I shuffled out of his truck, not even bothering to get my things out of the back, as he closed the passenger door behind me.

“Yeah, but you can meet some of the guys! We really aren’t that bad, I mean. I know Ryan probably doesn’t like you very much, but once he finds out what kind of marshmallow you are, he’ll be putty in your hands.”

“Why do I have the nagging feeling I shouldn’t listen to you?”Paul roared with laughter, before turning the key and opening the door, where gun shots and screaming could be heard. “I’m home, wives!”

I raised my eyebrows again, as he mauled the masses of bodies on his couch, stealing an xbox controller from one of his teammates, who noticed my presence while I locked the door behind me.

“Who’s the chick?”

“Oh, guys,” The screen was paused and a few of them turned to Paul, to me, and back to Paul, jaws dropped. “This is Anna.”

~

“I told you this was a bad idea, Gaustad.” Crossing my arms, I glared at the man beside me in the kitchen, gunfire in the background from the Left 4 Dead 2 game blaring out of the speakers.

“They said if I contained you in here, they’d let you stay. I got outvoted in my own house! How do you think I feel?”

“Why is she here?” I groaned outloud, as Ryan Miller came in from the back yard, sliding a small box into his pocket in the process. I grinned.

“Who is the lucky lady?” He looked at me startled, before resuming his glare.

“None of your business.”

“Ryan, seriously, man, chill out.” Paul put his hand on my shoulder, before turning back to his goaltender. “Anna’s not that bad. I fought her on the ice, and if I couldn’t stand her, I’d have beat her up again at the airport, not invite her to my house.”

My jaw dropped. “You didn’t beat me up on the ice! Where did you get that idea?!” I smacked him in the side of the head, before turning back to Miller. “What’s her name?”

“Evelyn..”

~

/**Author’s Note: Please assume Anna & Sergei’s conversation is in Russian**/

“Alright, Anna, what’s going on?” I rubbed my arm, as I sat back into the one of thousands Flyers’ seats at the Wells Fargo Center. Sergei draped his arm around my shoulders, making me shiver.

“Sergei, I don’t think we can continue whatever it is we have.” I exhaled, happy to get it off my chest, the feelings I had been dealing with for a few weeks. “I love you so much, but I think we work better as friends. We were friends before we dated, and while it was fun, it felt like I was dating my best friend, not the love of my life.”

He smiled. “So it was nothing I did wrong? I know I forgot to call a lot of the time..” I pressed my lips to his for a moment, silencing him.

“It was never you. But now you can do what you want when on the road, or even find a girl here in Philadelphia. Much closer to home. I can’t be there for you, when I’m on the bottom half of the country.” I kept my gaze back on the ice, and the Zamboni going back over the ice before the crowd was let in, and Sergei would have to go and get ready.

“So we are seeing other people now?” I rolled my eyes, looking back to the mischevious grin plastered on his face. He was awfully happy, despite everything, and despite him starting against the Capitals tonight. I nodded.

“Yeah. You do your thing, I’ll do mine. But that doesn’t mean you can’t bother the shit out of me like always.”

“Did you really think I would give that up?”

"I may regret the way we ended, Sergei, but I will never regret what we had."

~
I quickly dialed the phone, the Canadian code automatically inputed into the phone number. “Anna?”

I rubbed my forehead for a second, before responding. “I did it. He seemed alright with it.”

“Do you regret it?” I shrugged my shoulders, even though he couldn’t see it.

“I like you more than I do him, relationship-wise. I told you, it was like dating my best friend. Don’t get me wrong, I loved it, but it just wasn’t right. There’s someone out there for him.”

“Oh, so you like me now?”

“Don’t get so full of yourself. I still wouldn’t get within two feet of you.”

“How about two inches?”

“Two inches? That’s it? I’m hanging up now.”

“Anna!” I laughed loudly, as I waiting for the taxi driver to come back into the car from his smoke break. I had to run to my apartment, grab my second bag of clean clothes, and get to the Forum for our game against Carolina tonight.

“Well, it’s true!”

~

I leaned back against the hotel headboard, being unable to sleep for my pre-game nap. I has texted Tuukka maybe ten minutes ago, without even thinking about, and I didn’t really want to hear that he had to say.

The device buzzed, due to being on silence so Simon could sleep, and I quickly picked it up, stepping into the bathroom and locking the door. His Finnish tongue quickly reached my ears.

“It’s been a long time, Anna.” Sighing in exasperation, I slumped onto the edge of the bathtub, before replying in the same dialect.

“Starting to think you had forgotten about me, Tuukka.” He probably did.

“Well, I came to the NHL and bounced from Toronto to Providence to Boston, where my career finally took off, you sort of never kept in touch and so you fell out of mind.”

"So I guess it's entirely my fault, then? Understandable. Not like it's never anyone else's fault either. How's Boston treating you?" I felt my fists clench. Yeah, I made a mistake, but it wasn’t like he gave a damn either. Ever since she came into his life two years ago, I’ve been no where in sight.

“Wasn’t saying it was your fault, it’s not like I tried at all either, and I’ve never been happier since coming to Boston.”

"It's because of her, isn't it?" I couldn’t help the angry tone that came out of my throat, as Tuukka paused.

“Majority of it yes, she’s a fantastic girl.” Tuuk replied, sounding honestly sincere.

"I'm sure. Heard about her little escapades on the news last night. Sounds like she's something special." I didn’t feel bad about bringing up the concern I had for him, regardless of how little we had talked.

“You have no right to be sarcastic about that.” He smarted back, taking me by surprise.

"What makes you think I was being sarcastic, dear Tuukka? She has spirit, I will honestly say that, but maybe, has the thought crossed your mind that she isn't good for you?"

He, again, took a moment to respond, most likely watching Roxy doing something. I wondered if he has taught her Finnish yet. “Because it might have been two years, but I still remember your tone of voice when you were sarcastic. Two years is quite some time to get to know someone too, you know. I’ve had two years to decide whether or not she was for me and I’ve come to the conclusion that she is. She’s been through a lot of shit and I want to be the one solid thing in her life that makes her happy.”

"Don't pretend to claim to know me after two years, Tuukka Rask. I still don't understand, however. What about what makes you happy?"

“Fine, I guess I can go back to pretending like I didn’t know you at all. And what makes me happy? Playing hockey in a city that appreciates me, with a team that has practically become family, and dating a girl who may look like an unstable bitch to you but is anything but to me and the rest of the team.” I couldn’t help but smile at being able to get under his skin. Maybe she was good for him. It was nice that she was affecting him this way, and making him think for once in his life. However, the smile didn’t last long.

"You don't know me. Not anymore. You don't care to take the time out of your day to call me, asking if my goddamn leg is all right, or if I'll ever be able to play hockey again. You knew I was going to compete in Vancouver, and I'm pretty sure the games were broadcasted in Boston. I had to call and find out from your mother to find out you were in Boston permanently. I see what's occupied your thoughts for the past two years, completely throwing out your regard for a friend. Am I wrong, or did our friendship end long ago?" I felt a warm streak fall down my cheek, shortly followed by more. I had broken up with my boyfriend, unable to repair my rocky friendship with my best friend, probably getting ready to lose a friend, and my mother’s on life support. Greeaaatttt.

“You called my mom? She never mentioned you ever calling at all in the past. I didn’t think it would but it just might be. Unless you’re going to keep complaining about my relationship with Roxy.”

"But it's okay for her to take cheap shots at me on the ice, while you just stand there and watch?"

“You took a cheap shot at me yourself that night as well Anna.” I bit my tongue, refraining from offending the Finn any further.

"I don't recall anything like that." I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“While I was trying to calm her ass down, you told me ‘they always choose the ones they can manipulate and leave the easiest.’ That hurt a little you know.”

"I was out of line, and I'm sorry for that, but for the love of God, you're going to defend her over me? You think I've had it easy this entire time also, but you are sadly mistaken. All I've wanted to do, for the past year, is crawl under a rock and die. Maybe I took out my frustrations on her, which is something I try and leave off the ice, but I could have used a friend." I had a feeling I was putting him in a hard position. Something had to give, and if that meant I needed to step out of the picture..

Well, then, so be it.

“Anna, don’t make me have to chose like this. No matter whom I chose to defend, I would get in trouble and if I choose to stay out of it I have a feeling this fight would still be happening. I am sorry for your troubles and for not being there, really, but Roxanne is the same way and maybe it hurts me even more now because I’m trapped between two women, one who I love with my life and another an old friend who are frustrated at each other but are going through the same thing and do the same shit.”

"We are nothing alike, we are not going through the same thing, so please do not compare me to her." The pity I felt for Roxanne flew out of my mind, when he said that statement.

“I am sorry, I won’t. What is happening Anna, why have you changed?” I changed? Either that, or I just stopped acting the way you wanted me to.

"I haven't changed one bit. I'm still me, and you are still you." I’m just going through some rough stuff, Tuuk. I have no one to turn to.

“If you say so-” I kept quiet, as Tuukka was cut off, and Roxy’s voice bled through the receiver in hushed tones. “Hold on one sec.”

I hummed in response, before he quickly came back.

“Listen Anna, fighting like this is not going to do anything but make us more angry at each other. Now I have to go, Roxanne’s awake and we’ve got to get to the TD to play the Rangers tonight.” I could only guess she woke up from her nap. I really couldn’t be angry with her. She honestly did nothing to me.

"You really love her, don't you?"

“Yes, I do love her. After knowing her for two years I knew she and I had a chance and since being with her I don’t want to lose her.” I wanted to cry at his words. He had something I never had, and it made me want to go back home and lay in my bed for a week. I did the only thing I knew, that would show how sorry I was for how I was acting. If only Tuukka understood that, and didn’t shrug it off, saying I was still mad at the pair.

"I guess I am happy that you are happy, Tuukka. In my family, it means a lot, and it may not mean a bunch to you, but you have my blessing, should it ever come to it. Good luck tonight, Tuukka. Give some to your girl as well." I blinked away the tears quickly, before changing the subject.. "I liked playing the Rangers. We ended up being slaughtered last night by Carolina, and had to leave immediately after, just to get some sleep this morning before we have to be at RBC for tonight. It was insane." He laughed from his end.

“I hate it, we get slaughtered every time but Roxy enjoys it, she gets to see her old friends from Super Skills she rarely ever gets to see. And thank you for your blessing, despite it all being so rocky right now.”

Smiling softly, I thought of something else that I had been meaning to tell him. "All that matters is that you enjoy the game, I suppose. Oh, and Tuuk?"

“Yeah Anna?” I looked at the clock on the bathroom wall, raising my eyebrows.

"Happy late birthday. I gotta go. Should have woken Simon up ten minutes ago."

“Thanks Anna, I appreciate it. And go wake up your teammate while I get myself to the TD with Roxy.”

“Later.”

~

I banged on the door, furious as fuck. I was so tired of him pulling this shit. “Who the hell is it?”

“Valtteri Filppula, open your goddamn door, right this instant!”

“Jesus Christ, Anna, go the fuck to bed.” I fiddled with the doorknob, Val’s voice seeping through the thick wood.

“Fuck you. Unlock the door.”

“Whatever, just shut up. Hiedi’s asleep.”

Within moments, I was standing in Val’s halfway lit kitchen, him standing sleepily in
front of me. “Are you awake yet?”

“Feel free to explain why you are here.”

“I have a game in Carolina in a few hours. We just played them, I got on the plane after trying to call you. I got no answer, so here I am. Let me explain what the fuck has been going on. I went to Russia for half a year, because of that stupid European player agreement shit. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, alright? It hasn’t been easy living with it. I’ve been in this godforsaken country for just barely a month, and I’m already dealing with some fucking superiority-complex girl, and another with anger problems who is depressed as shit. I can’t say anything, because she’s with Tuukka.”

Val’s eyebrows creased. “I know the girl. Roxanne McGregor. The other is Erika Harper.”

“I’m sick of these girls’ drama! Why can’t they just play the fucking game and get over it?” I began pacing back and forth, the anger running through me blurring my vision. “I broke up with Sergei two nights ago. My mother is in the hospital with cardiomyopathy, and I had to fly out and see her. My dad wouldn’t even let me in the fucking hospital, and sent me back here. Anatoly’s got some shit he won’t tell me about until after the season. I’ve lost my best fucking friend, and my day is not getting any better. I’ve been throwing up constantly for a week now, and all of a sudden, it stopped. My leg hurts like holy mother of fuck, and I want to punch every single Capital in the face, because that bitch is taking my friends away from me. Even McGregor is taking Krejci from me.”

“What do you mean, taking?”

“Nicky won’t even talk to me. Same with Semyon. Every time they tried, she got all pissy. But she let that fucking son of a bitch Semin talk to me all day long, and didn’t question it. McGregor has Tuuk wrapped around her finger, but I’m over that. David, I don’t even know anymore. He hasn’t been answering my calls, and I’m not answering Chara’s voicemails that sound like he wants to punch my face in.”

Val smirked, before pouring two glasses of water, and handing me one. “Well, then I guess I can forgive you, then.”

I sighed in frustration, before gulping the water down, setting the cup on the counter, and holding my arms out. Within moments, I was held by my best friend again.