Save Your Heart

“Honey, I’m home!” I yelled jokingly as I entered Derek’s apartment. I had been spending more and more time over at his place since I started school again a month ago, in the beginning of September. Natalie had been bringing more guys over to our apartment which made it a little hard to study. I would be lying if I said I minded staying at Derek’s apartment more than my own.

I found Derek standing over the stove. “Hey, you, what are you making?” I hugged him tightly from behind.

“Macaroni and cheese.” He answered in a gloomy voice. I frowned. In all of the months we had been dating, Derek had never acted this sad. Everyday when I would come home from class, he would greet me at the door with a big hug. Today, he didn’t even answer me when I walked in.

“Are you okay?” I asked.

Derek turned away from the stove and faced me. He placed his hands on my hips. I smiled at him and kissed his cheek lightly in hopes to make him happier. He kept the solemn look on his face though. I was starting to get worried. “There’s something I completely forgot to tell you.” He began to say. I felt my stomach drop. What could possibly be wrong?

“What is it?” I replied nervously. For a while, in the back of my mind, I always thought that this relationship was too good to be true. Something bad was bound to happen to us sooner or later.

“I’m going on tour in about 2 weeks. I’ve been so wrapped up in you, in us, that I just forgot about it until today.”

A calmness eased over me. I was thinking of the worst that could happen, when this wasn’t that bad at all. “That’s it?”

“Yeah...?” He replied confusingly.

“It’s okay!” I chuckled lightly. “You were bound to go on tour at some point. I don’t know why you sound so glum about it, you love performing. And you’re going to overcook the macaroni!” I rushed to the pot of macaroni on the stove and stirred it.

“I liked touring and then you came along.” He mumbled behind me. His fingers danced around the small of my back while I continued to stir.

“Sweetie,” I turned the burner off and brought the pot of boiling water and macaroni to the sink to drain the water. “I’ll still be here when you get back.” I carried the pot over to the stove, then poured the cheese mix into the pot and combined it with the macaroni. Derek didn’t answer me, so I looked over at him. He was watching me with a sad expression on his face. “What? You don’t want me to be here when you get back?” I chuckled lightly again.

“Of course I do. I wouldn’t want anything else.”

I took two bowls out of Derek’s cabinet. “Then what’s the matter?”

“I’m just afraid that you’ll get sick of me being away a lot and find someone better, someone who is always there for you.”

I walked over to him and squeezed his waist. “There is nothing better for me than you. If there is, I don’t want them. I want you. Okay?” I gave him a quick peck on his lips, then returned to the counter.

He moved closer to me, his chest was against my back. He moved my hair away from the left side of my neck, and placed a sweet and gentle kiss on it. I felt tingles throughout my body. I could feel his breath in my ear. “I love you, babygirl.” He whispered.

I turned around and faced him. He enveloped me in his arms and lifted me up, I wrapped my legs around his torso and my arms went around his neck. I smiled, he smiled back. My stomach flipped at the site of it, his smile always made my stomach do that. He smelled so good, like always. He pressed his lips against mine. The kiss started off sweet and slow at first, then fierce. Every once in a while, I would interrupt the kiss with a smile and he would return the smile, then suck on my bottom lip before going back to kissing. He stood in the kitchen, holding and kissing me for a good few minutes. He then pulled his lips away from mine and grinned. He gently put me back on the floor, brushed my hair away from my face, and kissed my forehead. Those were my favorite kind of kisses and he knew they made me happy. I still didn’t know what I did to deserve a guy as great as him to love me, simple old me.

+++

“Ry! Over here!” I heard Natalie squeal. I spun around in the direction of her voice and spotted her sitting at a small table in the corner of the restaurant. I jogged over to her and she got up from her seat to give me a hug. “Oh I miss you, girl!”

I took a seat across from her and opened my menu. Derek had things to do with his band today, so I decided to spend the afternoon with Natalie. “I miss you too! How have you been?”

“I’ve been great! How about you, stranger? I never see you anymore.” I looked up at Natalie to see he giving me a pouty face.

I gave her a sympathetic smile in return. “I’m sorry. Things have been so busy with school.”

“And Derek.” She snapped at me. I could sense a bit of jealousy in her voice. She had never been jealous of me in all of the years we have been friends.

“Well, you were bringing so many friends back to the apartment and I needed some peace and quiet to study.”

“And Derek’s there.” She snapped again.

I tried to reason with her.“Nat, if I didn’t have so much school work, you know I would be at the apartment.”

She threw her menu on the table and her hands went up in the air. “I’m not stupid, Rylin. I’ve been in your spot before.” I looked around the restaurant, people were staring at Natalie making a scene. I ducked down in embarrassment. “You’re in a new relationship and it totally consumes you to the point where no one else in your life exists. Don’t play the ‘I have too much work’ card on me. It’s more like the ‘I have a boyfriend now’ card.”

I looked down, ashamed. She was right. I had been so absorbed with Derek, plus I had school to deal with on top of that, nothing else in my life existed. Guilt overwhelmed me all of a sudden. “You’re right. I am so sorry. I promise I’ll be a better friend. I really mean that.” I grabbed her hand across the table and gave a squeeze in hopes to let her know I was still her friend.

Her mouth cracked into a huge smile and she stood up and hugged me from across the table. I took that as her forgiving me. “So things must be pretty great with Derek then?” She asked when she sat back down.

I grinned and nodded.

“Aw look at you! You’re so happy! Happy looks so pretty on you.” She exclaimed excitedly. “Now I don’t feel so bad about him taking my best friend away from me if he makes you smile like that.”

“I’m sorry!” I whined. I still felt guilty for abandoning her for so long. I hated people who chose their relationships over their friends and here I am, being that person.

Our waitress walked over to our table to take our order; Natalie ordered a caesar salad and I ordered a cheese and apple panini. When the waitress took our menus and left, we continued on with our conversation.

Natalie laughed. “Babe, it’s okay! I might have a new boy in my life too.”