Haunted

"Nobody gets to live life backward. Look ahead, that is where your future lies." - Ann Landers

Chapter 5

“Okay,” Mr. York said walking into our Law class on my second day of school, “today I’ll be giving out the assignment that’s due two weeks from today, you and a partner of my choosing will work on it and hand it in, and it’s worth fifteen percent of your final mark.”

Immediately people started talking, most of it was about not being able to pick their own partners, it didn’t really bother me, I didn’t really know anyone at McKinley. I sat in silence and waited until Mr. York had calmed the rest of the class down.

“Yes, yes, I know I’m a horrible person, but that’s just the way it’s gonna be,” he said looking around the room at us, “Okay, let’s start picking. Amy, you’re with Jamie...”

He kept announcing names and I kinda drifted off thinking about home and what I would be doing in school if I were there with my friends, I would have had lunch with Blake and all of our friends, “Ryley,” he called pulling me out of my trance, I perked up at the sound of my name, “you’re with Finn. Jacob with Mary...”

I looked around vaguely recalling the boy’s name, Finn. I knew I heard it before.

“Behind you,” a voice said from directly behind me.

I turned to face the voice and saw a boy with brown hair and very pretty eyes, wearing a plaid shirt smiling at me, and I instantly recognized him from Glee, “Finn Hudson,” he introduced.

“Ryley Schuester,” I said, like he hadn’t known already.

He smiled, “I know. So I guess we’re partners.”

I nodded, “Looks that way.”

“Okay, guys, you can have the rest of the class to work. I’m handing out the requirements, so work from there,” Mr. York said going around the class and handing each of us a piece of paper.

“The Supreme Court,” I said aloud while looking over the paper.

Finn murmured in agreement, he stood up suddenly, grabbed his binder and textbook and moved his chair to my desk, “Five hundred to a thousand words.”

Again, I nodded, “Not bad.”

He looked up from his paper and smiled at me, “I’m not sure I even know five hundred words.”

I laughed for the first time...in weeks. It felt very strange, almost foreign to do. I stopped laughing quickly, but Finn continued smiling, “You have a nice laugh.”

“Thanks. I haven’t laughed in a while,” I said, but regretted it. Not exactly something I was in the mood to talk about.

His smiled faded and he rubbed the back of his neck, “I’m sorry, about everything.”

I smiled briefly at him, “We should start working on the assignment.”

He nodded in agreement and opened his textbook.

“You coming to Glee again?” Finn asked as we packed our bags when the final bell rang.

I nodded, “Yeah, Uncle Will drives me to school and stuff, so I wouldn’t have another way home.”

“You thinking about joining?”He asked hiking his bag onto his right shoulder.

“Umm,” I started as I put my Messenger bag over my head, “not really.”

“Why not?” he asked as we started to leave the classroom.

I shrugged lightly, and saw a few people stare at us as we walked, “I haven’t exactly been in the proper mood.”

“Do you sing though?” he asked as we turned a corner.

“Yeah, I mean, my family is a very musical family so I’ve sang for as long as I can remember,” I answered stopping in front of the Glee Club room.

Finn extended his arm to let me walk in first, I nodded at him in thanks and went to find a seat. I sat in the second row towards the left side, with Finn sitting right next to me.

“So then why not continue doing that?” he asked, picking up from where our conversation lapsed.

I was honestly surprised he sat beside me, I thought he would have just dropped it and sat with someone else and talk to them, “Um...I guess I don’t have a real answer for that, like, I love to sing, I really do. But I don’t have anything to sing about at the moment.”

He let that sink in for a few seconds before speaking again, “But...and I’m not trying to pry or be Doctor Phil or anything, I swear, but, don’t you think that your mom and dad and brother would want you to still be happy even if they’re gone. I know it hasn’t been long since they’ve been gone, but, personally I don’t think they’d want you to stop doing something that you love so much. Not to be an asshole, but, you can’t always live in the past, you have to move forward with your life.”

This time it was my turn to let everything sink in, Finn had really made valid points. I knew that he was right, my parents and Blake wouldn’t be happy with me giving up doing something that I’ve loved doing my whole life. They always came out to support me when I was in my Glee Club, they always wanted me to just be happy and do what I wanted, and that was to sing.

And I would never want to disappoint them, but...I was just so nervous to do something that I loved so much....and to even think about moving in with my life without them....it was hard. I wanted them in my life so badly that I was nervous about moving on with my own life.

“So...do I take this two minute long silence as you think I’m a dick and you won’t be talking to me again?” Finn asked.

I looked back up at him, then quickly around the room and noticed that everyone was there, and we were just waiting for Uncle Will, I looked back to Finn, “No, I was just thinking over what you said is all.”

He nodded and Uncle Will walked in, “Sorry guys, some students needed some extra time on my Spanish test. Okay, who wants to go first?”

Before anyone else blinked Finn had his hand in the air, Uncle Will looked surprised as did Rachel when she turned to look at him, “I know Rachel usually likes to go first, but huh, I’d like to today.”

Uncle Will nodded approvingly with a smile on his face, “Go for it, Finn,” he said as he took a seat with the rest of us and Finn went to talk to the band.

“Okay, so, this is one of my favourite songs so...yeah,” was Finn’s introduction. Everyone chatted amongst themselves till he started singing.

“Shot through the heart, and you’re to blame, darlin you give love a bad name!”

Everyone cheered and began singing along with him, Finn had an amazing voice and a good stage presence even though he didn’t dance, which I couldn’t say anything about because I’m not the best dancer. But the club really seemed to enjoy his performance, he walked along the length of the seats that we were sitting in and sang to everyone. During the guitar solo he even played air guitar which a few members joined him in.

He finally finished and everyone clapped and cheered for him, including me, I had to admit, he had skill.

“Awesome, Finn. Great job. That’s what I’m talking about guys for this week, just pick a song you want to sing, just a song you love,” Uncle Will said as he went back to the front, “Alright guys, I’m gonna cut it short today and leave it on that performance, get your game faces on, two will go tomorrow. See you guys.”

I put my messenger bag over my head and was about to stand up when I spoke to Finn, “That was really good.”

He smiled at me, “Thanks. That’s what Glee’s about, you know, just enjoying yourself up there. So should we huh...exchange numbers?” he asked.

I looked up at him – he was really tall – quizzically, “I mean for the assignment, so we can work on it.”

“Oh! Yeah, for sure,” I said taking my phone out of my pocket as he did the same. He told me he’d text me later about it and went on his way, throwing one last smile to me as he went out the door.

Uncle Will smiled as I went down to meet him, “What did you think?” he asked.

“He was good. I mean, I never doubted that the club had talent,” I told him.

His smiled brightened, “They all do. They’re great kids,” he paused for a few seconds before speaking again, “Why don’t you audition, Ryley? You could be such an asset to the club, you’re a fantastic singer.”

I was shaking my head before he had finished his statement, “No, I don’t want to join the club, Uncle Will. I just can’t.”

“But why, Ryley?” he asked like a whiny five year old.

“Because I don’t think it’s fair that I would get to do something that I love so much, while they’re lying in coffins. It’s not fair to me that I get to keep going on while they don’t,” I snapped. After I said it I walked out of the room with Uncle Will following closely behind me.

“I understand that, Ryley, really I do,” he said as he walked behind me, “Hey,” he said putting his hand on my shoulder, forcing me to stop and turning me to face him, “you are not the only one that lost family that day. You weren’t the only one affected by it.”

“I get that, I really do. But not only did I lose the three most important people to me in one swoop, but I also had to leave everything that I had, I left sixteen years of my life behind,” I paused and took a small step back from his grasp and really looked at Uncle Will, in his eyes I could see the pain everything had caused him. I knew it was taking a toll on him. “I died too that day, Uncle Will.”

We stood silent in a hallway of McKinley high school staring at each other, finally he broke the silence, “I just want you to be happy, Ryley. That’s my goal now, and I know that singing and performing has always made you happy. That’s why I want you in New Directions. You’ve been fighting me about seeing someone to talk to about everything, so why not use Glee Club as an outlet for how you’re feeling? Get your emotions out.”

I sighed almost in defeat, “I don’t know. I want to sing, but it just hurts to do it. It hurts to think about it.”

He pursed his lips, but nodded, “Let's get home, Ryley.”

I nodded my head and we made our way to his car, then to Uncle Will’s apartment as I thought about my options.

One - I could continue doing what I was doing. Not singing and not being totally happy with life, dwelling on everything and pretty much being miserable. I was still so upset about my parents and Blake, and it literally hurt my heart to even consider doing things by myself that we loved doing as a family.

Two - I could start moving on and start by joining New Directions. I could start getting back to my old self, the bubbly, outgoing, fun girl that I was a month ago. I could make friends here and finally start repairing myself; I could start feeling whole again.

Three - ...go back home to Cleveland. Move in with one of the friends who had offered me a place to come back to if I ever wanted to. I knew this really wasn’t an option that I was willing to act on, but...it was there.

I knew what the right option was...I just needed to transition there. I guess it would start with planning an audition for the New Directions.