Haunted

Chapter 6

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the life that is waiting for us. ~ Joseph Campbell

“Alright everyone,” Uncle Will said as Sam – the super nice, big lipped, blond Bieber – sat down after his performance that Friday, “for not having a real assignment planned for you guys this week, I think it turned out pretty well.”

Everyone nodded in agreement and chatted amongst themselves. My nerves suddenly came over me; I hadn’t asked Uncle Will if it was okay for me to audition yet. I was just kinda planning on doing it. I had never been nervous about singing in front of people, even if I didn’t know them. Not that I didn’t exactly know the Glee kids, I knew their names and had spoken to most of them, they had invited me to sit with them at lunch, but I declined. I don’t have a really good reason about why I did that, but I did it.

Uncle Will shrugged and nodded, “I guess that’s it for the week, have a good weekend everyone.”

Everyone started standing up and continued talking as they grabbed their belongings. Now or never.

“Um, Uncle Will – er, Mr. Schue,” I called over everyone.

He looked up at me, everyone looked back at me, “Do you guys need another Glee club member?” I asked as casually as possible.

Uncle Will got a huge smile on his face, as did Finn. Finn had been the only one I had really talked to, mostly because we were still working on the law assignment. Everyone shifted focus to Uncle Will to see what he would say.

He looked around at everyone and nodded, “We could always use a new member. Do you have something?” he asked.

I stood up and nodded, “Great!” he said, as everyone still chatted and sat back down again watching me.

I went over to the band and asked them if they knew the song I wanted, they all said yes. I went over and stood in front of everyone, Uncle Will had taken the seat I had been sitting in.

I smiled a nervous smile before speaking, “Um, this is one of my favourite songs by one of my favourite singers. I just thought I’d go with the theme this week so...yeah,” I trailed off as I looked towards the band and nodded. The music started.

I already knew I wouldn’t be dancing in this song, so I just swayed back and forth with the beat of the song.

Frozen
Forgetful again
The part where I lose my head
The scene where I'm supposed to speak but instead
I sit and listen again
I'm stuck with these cards, I guess
Leaping from this cliff in my thoughts
I fly like stones in my heart
Drowning in doubt, for what reason?
I sit so patiently
Drenched in what you want me to be
I can't escape

I'm ready now
Oh I'm ready now
Oh I'm ready now
Come get me

Fearless
With cape in hand
Conquer what I need to mend
Little girls get so broken
But I sit so patiently
Drenched in what you want me to be
I can't seem to escape

I'm ready now
Oh I'm ready now
Oh I'm ready now
Come get me

Through with golden roads and perfect love
Too much of your mouth is like too much sun
How I burn, how I burn
I was so patient waitin' for my turn
I fly like stones
As I break every bone

This part is a whisper in the song, so I went over to Mike Chang and sang it in his ear

Come get me

He pretended to faint as everyone cheered and laughed. I smiled and went back to where I was standing.

I'm ready now
Oh I'm ready now
Oh I'm ready now
Come get me

I'm ready now
Oh I'm ready now
Oh I'm ready now
Come get me

I finally finished and smiled at everyone as the band played the last notes. Everyone cheered and clapped for me. Uncle Will came up and hugged me briefly. After he left go he turned and looked at the rest of the club.

“What do you guys think? Do we have a new member?” he asked. I continued smiling at them, and hoped they would let me in.

“Huh, yeah we do,” Puck said from his seat.

“We’ve got this one in the bag this year with her,” Artie said looking at the rest of the club, who nodded in agreement at his statement.

Rachel then stood up, “As co-captain of Glee club, I’d like to welcome you to the club,” she said and smiled at me.

My smile widened, “Thanks guys,” was all I could say.

“Alright guys, that’s really it for today. See you on Monday,” Uncle Will said to the group who in turn grabbed their stuff.

Everyone began leaving the room as they did they all said congratulations to me and welcomed me to the club.

As Artie passed with Brittany pushing him in his wheelchair she looked at me with a very serious look on her face and said, “That’s one of Lord Tubbington’s favourite songs, too. Sometimes he plays that song when he cooks me dinner.”

I looked at her confused then looked down at Artie, who just smiled at me, “It’s a compliment.”

I nodded and looked back to Brittany, “Thank-you.”

She smiled, “No problem.”

“Great job, Ryley,” Artie said to me.

“Thanks,” I smiled and then they left.

"I left some folders in my room, I’ll meet you at the car Ryley,” Uncle Will said.

I nodded and watched him go with Rachel following him, “Mr. Schue, I have a request. Could none of my solos be given away now that we have a new member? Congrats Ryley!” she added as she walked out the door with Uncle Will.

I smiled to myself in relief as I turned to the seats to grab my messenger bag, I gasped when I noticed that Finn was standing a few feet behind me hold my bag for me.

“Geez Finn, you scared me,” I said taking a breath.

He smiled and looked down, “Sorry didn’t mean to,” he said.

I smiled back, “It’s fine,” I said taking my bag when he handed it to me.

“That was really great Ryley,” he said as we walked out of the room together.

“Thanks. Not just for that, but for, um, kinda persuading me to do it,” I said looked up at him.

He looked at me confused, “Really?”

I nodded, and looked away from him, “Yeah, what you said on Tuesday hit a chord with me. You were right, my parents and my brother would be so mad at me if they knew that I just gave up doing what I loved to do. They supported me for years while I did this, and if I just stopped while they were alive I know they’d be disappointed. And now that they’re...gone, I know they would still be disappointed. So thank-you.”

We had reached the doors that lead to the parking lot, I looked up at Finn, he had a little smile on his face, “I did that?” he asked.

“You did. And they would want me to be happy, and I wanted to sing again. And I wasn’t going to, and then you said that to me. And it took a little thought, but...you were right and I couldn’t stay away from singing,” I said as I opened up the door.

“I’m happy I finally had words of wisdom,” he said with a laugh.

I smiled too. Since I finished the song, I felt like the old me. The me from just a month ago, bubbly and happy, and singing again. And...my God it felt amazing. But...I missed them, I missed them so much. And there was still a dull pain in my heart because they weren’t with me anymore. And the pain still made me want to cry every second of every day, but...I knew I couldn’t go on like that. It wasn’t good for me; I had never felt that way I didn’t know what to do. But I knew that I’d always have them with me, and that I couldn’t live in the past all the time, and I couldn’t keep myself sheltered off to everyone, including Uncle Will because I knew that I was pulling him down too. I had to remember my mom and dad and Blake, and I had to celebrate them, and be the daughter and the sister that I had always been. Not someone who dwells.

I would never forget them, and if I cried, then I cried. And when one of their birthdays, or a holiday or even the anniversary of their passing comes, then I have to remember the fun and the laughter, not the sadness of missing them. I would always miss them, and I would never forget them.

“So what do you say?” Finn asked.

“Say to what?” I asked confused.

He smiled again, “You didn’t hear me?”

I smiled and looked down embarrassed, “Zoned out.”

“I asked if you wanted to hang out tonight or tomorrow night, show you around Lima, grab dinner or something,” he suggested.

Finn was such a sweet guy...how could I say no? “That’d be awesome.”

“Hey guys,” Uncle Will said as he walked up to us.

“Hey, Mr. Schue, I was just about to take off. I’ll text you in a bit, Ry. See you guys later,” he turned and walked to his truck.

“I’m so proud o you Ryley. Seriously, I’m so happy that you did it,” he said as he opened his car door.

I smiled and slid into the passenger seat, “Thanks. I’m pretty happy too.”

Finn drove by and honked his horn and waved, I waved back.

“So what’s going on?” Uncle Will asked as he pulled out of the parking lot.

“Finn asked me to hang out either tonight or tomorrow, is that alright?” I asked.

His smile grew, “Of course, yeah. Finn’s a great guy.”

I smiled in response. I finally was beginning to feel good, and I hoped that the feeling would last.