Darkest Desires

I won’t lie; sleep here doesn’t come easy to a person. Sometimes I lie awake for hours wondering whether its night or day. Wondering what my family is doing and if all hell has been unleashed since I left. My family isn’t one to hold down the fort, or stay close when times get tough. Once something goes wrong we all start pointing fingers at each other no one wanting to take responsibility. Mom being the follower of Dad and Danny being no one’s follower what-so-ever, and then Eddy who moves to his own beat. Yeah, if things went down Eddy probably abandoned the house a long time ago.

I sighed and leaned against the wall looking at the decaying ceiling. I miss my room the most as of now with my comfy bed and warm blankets. I miss my stuffed animals all over the room and music blaring from my stereo while Danny yells that I’m being too loud and she has to study, yeah I miss home. I wonder if they are going to keep me here the whole time they hold me hostage, because if they are I have some complaints about this mattress. The springs are poking me and I think something may be crawling around in it when I sleep. Maybe I can talk to Fletcher about it? Something like, ‘Fetch me a new mattress!’…he would probably say something along the lines of, ‘Like hell. Do I look like a servant?’

Is it bad that I’m starting to think of Fletcher as a friend? And not so much of an evil kidnapper? Ugh, if Eddy could hear my thoughts he would be giving me a mental slap right now, maybe two. I shook my head and heard the door open, and what do you know it is Fletcher.

“Speak of the devil,” I looked at him and he looked confused.

“What?” he looked around the room, “were you talking to someone?”

I shook my head and looked at him, “no one to talk to except me, myself, and I” He looked at me and chuckled.

“Damn smart-aleck,” he said jokingly as he sat in a chair and I just studied him.

He seemed thinner almost and you’d think I’d be the one to be losing the weight. Then again I do feel these clothes being a little looser than before. “Have you been eating?” it slipped out and he looked a little shocked.

“Yeah. Why? Do I look different?” he looked at himself.

“Slightly slimmer I’d say,” I pointed to his waist and my shackles clanged with the movement, “your pants look like they’re about to fall off.”

“If they do my belt isn’t doing its job,” he looked at me and frowned, “what’s wrong?” I raised a brow at him, “well besides the obvious.”

I sighed, “This bed,” I jumped on it making it squeak, “I think something is living in it.”

Fletcher’s face scrunched up, “that’s gross.”

I laughed at him and felt that this was the most natural thing that has happened since I was brought here. Fletcher’s appearance around me somehow makes me feel at ease and untouchable by the other men here. Granted he was the first one to put massive bruises on me, he has made up for that when S&M came after me. I sighed and leaned against the wall thinking how different the situation would be if fletcher wasn’t here to look after me. God, I’d probably be raped by S&M by now!

Speaking of him S&M hasn’t shown his face here ever since he asked me about Danny. Which could mean he is afraid of what Snuz would do to him if he breaks his promise, or he’s doing things his own way now. If only I could get word out to Danny about that creep who seems to be lurking around her. I guess I can only pray that she remains out of danger’s way if that bastard acts on his impulse. Funny, never have I ever turned to religion in my life before and now that I’ve been put in here it’s the only thing that calms me.

“Is there any way I could get some fresh air?” I asked Fletcher.

“There is no way we are going to let you see what’s outside.”

I looked at him, “what are you doing here? I doubt its bath time, and I didn’t call you. Unless S&M is going to bust through that door any second then you have no reason to be talking to me.”

“S&M?” he said slowly and questionably before shaking his head. “I’m here to take you somewhere.”

I shuddered, “No. Whenever I leave this room I come back sore and bleeding,” I watched him come towards me and picking up my shackles. He tugged on them making me lurch foreword despite my protest. “I don’t want to leave damn it! Fletcher leave me alone!” I screamed as I was being dragged along the floor. No joke, I refused to get up and thought I’d make it tougher on him by dragging me.

He dragged me like I weighed nothing down the hall, “Stop being such a baby Megan,” he grunted when he started heading down some stairs making my butt bounce off the steps.

“Asshole!” I snapped at him when we reached the bottom. I was dragged a little further when we reached a door that was oddly familiar. Fletcher opened it and pulled me into the room where I greeted an upside down Snuz.

“Uh…hi?” Snuz said looking down at me and I quickly fixed my posture, “well what do you think?” he gestured to the rest of the room as the lights went on and I gasped. The room was the same shade as my room at home, along with the same furniture and dolls.
Everything looked just like home and then it hit me it was all too good to be true.

I got up and walked to the dresser and touched the surface feeling the groove I had made myself, “This is my stuff from home isn’t it?” I looked at Snuz through the mirror.

He fidgeted a little in his spot and reliantly nodded making me dig my nails into the wood, “Well I wanted you to be comfortable while you are here.”

I turned to look at him, “It’s not like I’m going to live here forever!” I sized up to him, “You can’t keep me here forever you know. No person can live in here forever!”

He took a step back, “I just want you to stay within my reach Megan,” he looked down like a child being scolded. “Is it so wrong to keep a person you love close?” Somewhere in me I felt he was acting a little cute, you know, that Awe moment. Mental slap, get it together Megan he’s the enemy!

“I…I guess it only natural to feel that way,” What the hell am I saying?

He smiled and picked me up into a big hug that my feet dangled off the ground. He was strong and very happy I say. I never knew saying just a few words can change his demeanor like this. He separated us a little and then kissed me on the lips and I put my hands up to his chest to push him away, but I didn’t. He wasn’t rough and it felt like something I could get lost in, but when he tried to put his tongue in I swiftly pushed him away earning a baffled look from Fletcher. Snuz put me down and walked towards the door to leave but stopped.

“I did this for you,” then he left leaving me and Fletcher alone.

We stood quiet for a minute and then I made my way to my bed and fell face first. I have been missing home no doubt, but having him bring a piece of it to me is making me feel both happy and a little scared. Maybe I’m starting to warm up to him since somewhere inside I feel a tightness when he’s around. His little acts of kindness, saying he loves me, and protecting me is something any girl would fall for and maybe something I’m falling for too.

Granted it started off really bad and he treated me like a rag doll dressing me up and kissing me, but now it’s different. Slowly I feel like I’m being seen more human than a doll and it really feels as if he is trying to gain my love. It’s a little scary to think he may be gaining it right now, but I’ll never tell him. I keep it a secret until I really need to like a life or death situation, but lets hope it doesn’t come to that.

I felt the bed dip and I looked up to see Fletcher sitting down with his head resting in his hand looking down at me. “What are you thinking about? Do you not like the room?”

“It’s not that I don’t like the room,” I got up and sat next to him, “my worry is how did you guys get all my stuff?”

He shrugged, “that’s a question for another person. I was here looking over you when he came with Joey and a large truck. When he opened the back I was just as surprised to see all the furniture.”

“Do you think I’ll ever get out of here?”

He looked at me seeming a little surprised at the question, “No I honestly don’t.”

“Ha, yeah who am I kidding?” my voice was cracking, “I’m a prisoner in his paradise and his word is the only one that counts. My purpose here is only to satisfy his love for me, and keep an eye on me. I doubt his love is even love; maybe just infatuation with bits of lust sparkled here and there.” I made a gesture with my hand, “I guess there isn’t a person in this world that could really love me, and if it really is him than I’d rather crawl into a ditch.”

“Isn’t that being a little dramatic?” Fletcher asked.

I looked at him, “Dramatic? What else am I suppose to be feeling? You people took me from my home! Lured me out and snatched me by pretending to be a guy my age. You put me in here and expect me to just accept it all and not hope to get out of here. I’m not animal or a glass doll that is to be contained you know! I want to places and live my life the way I want to and being here is killing me. It driving me insane that I feel like pulling whatever is left of my hair out.” I tugged on the ends on my short hair, “I want to leave this hell hole and go home.”

“Megan,” he put his hand on my shoulder, “you need to calm down. I know it’s been a while, but if you get to out of control I’ll have to sedate you.”

I jumped at the word sedate, being sedated make me feel like I’m turning into a rabid animal. I leaned to my side and rested my head on his shoulder feeling somewhat sleepy. I felt him tense up at my sudden act and couldn’t help but chuckle. Fletcher always appeared a little awkward to me and I would have thought that by now he wouldn’t jump at my touch. He almost seems like he has to watch himself when he’s around me and I tend to wonder why that is. Maybe it because I’m supposed to be Snuz’s girl and me feeling kind of comfortable with him is a no-no.

I felt his hand move from my shoulder to the top of my head, “what are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m feeling sleepy,” I closed my eyes and steadied my breathing.

I can feel him fidget, “then don’t you want to use a pillow instead of my shoulder? I bet the pillow would feel better.”

I shook my head, “After sleeping after being hung up, and on that lumpy mattress I can sleep almost anywhere. So sleeping next to you is comfortable, and besides with you here I feel a little safer.”

“I’m a grown man alone in a girl’s room,” he shifted his weight so he was on top of me looking at down into my eyes. “You shouldn’t feel safe with me.”

I don’t know if it’s my sleepiness but I giggled and grabbed his arm wrapping my hands as best I could since I still had on the shackles. “I trust you not to do anything,” I closed my eyes and felt myself falling asleep when the weight of the bed shifted to my side. I kept hold of Fletcher’s hand and I felt his other slightly touch my cheek.

“You don’t even know me and yet you trust me.” His hand moved from my face and I heard him sighed, “Damn girl you still don’t understand. Trusting strangers is the reason you got into this troublesome hell.” He stopped talking and I fell asleep holding onto him.