She Will Be Loved

It’s been a whole month since that day.

Don’t you wish you could do that in life sometimes? Close your eyes for a moment and then, poof. A whole chunk of time goes by. Maybe just a few weeks, maybe a month, maybe even a year. I know I wish I could just do that, not have to deal with trivial, daily problems. But yeah, a full month.

Zacky and I have had our little dates, I’ve had morning sickness all day, and my friends and I have just gotten closer. Today I’m going for another check-up on junior, as everyone is referring to my child. Turns out that it’s now they can take DNA from the baby and tell me if they expect any abnormalities. We did that last week and now we’re going back for results. I have told everyone at home my story with me grasping Zacky’s hand the whole time. Val cried while the guys swore to murder them both.

It’s the thought that counts, right?

“Kotaaa.” I looked up to see Jake waving at hand in front of my face. Everyone else at our lunch table, including his girlfriend Ashley, was giving me a worried stare. “You with us today?”

“Sorry, I have a lot on my mind,” I chuckled, rubbing my stomach where they couldn’t see. Val warned me that I should be showing soon. Suzy, Val’s mother, and even Matt’s mother - the last two I met within this last month - had told Val I should started showing around week eight. I was on week seven. And I still haven’t told my school friends.

“You’ve done that a lot you know,” Lia chirped. Everyone was soon to nod in agreement. I frowned, studying my half eaten lunch. Zacky didn’t understand why I hadn’t told them yet, but I did. I didn’t want them to think I was a whore because I was seventeen and pregnant. I wouldn’t give them the details, but they’d still notice my bulge. That I had to explain.

“Do you need to talk to us about something?” Alice asked, the first one to always know when the group needed to talk about something.

I slowly nodded. “Let’s go outside though.”

Together we all stood from the table. We dumped our food before leaving out the back door. The school didn’t mind if we went out to the courtyard, but off campus was against the rules. We all sat underneath the tree in the center of the courtyard, no one in hearing distance. I nibbled on my bottom lip nervously as everyone got comfortable in our very messy circle. Devin was the one to break the silence.

“What’s up Kota?” He asked, running his fingers over Lia’s knuckles as he held her hand. I twiddled my thumbs, unwilling to speak.

“We won’t judge you Koty,” Ashley spoke. She had been the one with us the shortest amount of time, but she was the one that knew what to say and when to say it.

“Guys,” I paused, staring at everyone else. When Ashley nodded encouragingly, I sighed. “I’m pregnant.”

It was painstakingly silent for the next few minutes. Then Lia, Alice, and Ashley shot forward on their knees, creating a messy semicircle. Lia asked, as she was placing her hand on my stomach, “Will it kick?”

“No. I’m not far enough along. Did you hear me right?”

“Perfectly clear, you’re having a baby. And I wanna know if it’s a boy or girl!” Jake chirped. Everyone saw the confused expression on my face and moved back to give me slight room again. They also all began to chuckle.

“It doesn’t matter if you’re pregnant Kota,” Alice said with a matter of fact tone. “You’re our friend. We stick by you and don’t give a damn.”

“But isn’t that sluttish?” I squeaked.

“Did you get pregnant by a random one nighter?”

“Well no - ”

“Then it doesn’t matter,” Max informed. I was silent as I stared at all my friends’ smiling faces. Tears began to form in my eyes and Jake instantly took me into a hug.

“Please don’t cry,” Lia begged.

“No, it’s fine. They’re happy tears,” I chuckled, wiping away at my eyes with my knuckles. Soon everyone was giving me hugs. Suddenly the bell rang, indicating lunch was now over. We all climbed to our feet, Devin and Lia helping me up. “Guys, I’m pregnant, not incapable.”

“Just the precautions,” Devin assured. I rolled my eyes, mocking him silently. This made everyone laugh again. We all said our goodbyes before Jake, Max, and I started our trek to music. We made small talk and the second I walked in the door our teacher waved me back out.

“Early release. You do know you will have to make up my test Monday, correct?” He rose an eyebrow at me as I hovered in the doorway.

“Of course sir.” With one last smile to my friends I left. I soon found Matt hovering outside the office. He nodded his head towards the door and we wordlessly walked out of the building. As the outside air hit our faces I asked, “Val’s not coming with?”

“No. She had to go to work. Hope you don’t mind coming to the studio after the doctor,” Matt said with a small questioning beneath it.

“I don’t mind.” I noticed Jimmy in the front seat so I headed to climb into the back. In there I found Zacky grinning at me.

“Hey babe,” he greeted as I climbed into my seat. I pecked him on the lips as I placed my bag on the floor. I pulled my door shut before pulling on my seatbelt.

“Why is this jolly green giant coming with?” I asked, leaning forward and jabbing a finger towards Jimmy. He fake gasped, hand over his heart.

“I am appalled Koty! I don’t even like green that much.” With that he put his nose in the air, his arms crossed over his chest. I snickered as Matt smiled and rolled his eyes.

“He didn’t feel like heading to the studio with Johnny and Brian.” I nodded, leaning back in my seat.

“How come you’re not asking about Zacky?” Jimmy whined.

“He’s my boyfriend. I couldn’t get rid of him even if I wanted to,” I joked, rolling my eyes playfully.

“Heeey,” Zacky whined. I laughed, kissing his cheek.

“You know I love you.” This pleased him. I knew because a shit eating grin took over his face. The rest of the ride to the doctor’s was mostly the four of us just picking fun at each other, mostly Zacky from the two up front since they said he was ‘getting tubby’.

I groaned, rubbing my hands up and down my face. “Babe, shut the hell up. You're not fat. If anyhing, I’m going to fucking blow up like a balloon within the next few months!”

“But you have a reason!” Zacky countered. I sighed heavily just as we pulled to a stop in the parking lot of my doctor’s office. I unclipped my seatbelt and turned to Zacky with a hard stare.

“Either shut up or stay here. You’re causing stress to the baby.” I grinned at Zacky’s frown. I had used that excuse over the past month any time anyone tried to get me to do something I didn’t want to or got me annoyed. It always worked, now no exception. He sighed in defeat.

“Fine, I’ll be good.” I smiled and pecked him on the lips before climbing out. Soon we were inside, signed in, and ushered to the third examine room. I sat down on the awkward table while Matt and Zacky took a normal chair and Jimmy decided to take the extra swirly chair. Zacky had been coming with me since I told him what happened, but Matt and Jimmy were new to the equation.

“Jimmy, knock it off,” I hissed. He was spinning in circles, arms out to either side of him, screaming about going to the moon. Finally, when he was close enough, I kicked his shoulder which sent his chair flying into a blank wall.

“That hurt,” Jimmy moaned, just as Dr. Wilson walked in. He shut the door behind himself with an eyebrow raised.

“Hello again Zacky, Koty. Matt, it’s been a long time.” Dr. Wilson and Matt shook hands before Dr. Wilson turned to look at Jimmy who’s blue eyes were wide with amazement. “Jimmy, you’ve grown.”

“You look so old,” Jimmy said, seeming to not pay attention to anything he said. Instead he seemed to be a five year old cringing at his grandmother’s wrinkly skin and fearing it will end up happening to him if he touched him.

“I see you haven’t changed,” Dr. Wilson spoke as he took the empty swirly chair as Matt pulled Jimmy by the back of his shirt to sit his chair next to him. “But don’t worry Jimmy, in only a couple more years you’ll be my age.”

“Nope. I told you doc, I won’t live to thirty,” Jimmy said sternly, crossing his arms over his chest with a nod.

“Maybe mentally,” Dr. Wilson muttered causing Zacky, Matt, and I to snicker as Jimmy childishly stuck his tongue out at the elder person. “Now, the reason we’re here.”

“What do you say doc?” I asked nervously, having to place my hands between my thighs before I would begin to pat my legs with them. I, however, didn’t stop from biting on my labret. He smiled brightly.

“You seem to be having a perfectly healthy baby, Koty.” Everyone, but myself, sighed in relief. That didn’t help me figure out something vitally important.

“So there’s nothing…odd about my kid?” Dr. Wilson narrowed his eyes in confusion as if pondering over the answers to Sudoku.

“Like what?” I bite my lip harshly. How do I tell him I fear my baby’s father might be my own father? There was no easy way to say it.

“Like the DNA looking similar on both sides or something?” It took a few moments, but a light bulb went off above his head. He opened his mouth, but I shook my head. “I really don’t want to talk about it doc. Just, would there be any strange chance that my baby’s dad could be someone from my family?”

“Dear God, no child.” I let out a deep sigh. So the father is – sadly this is good news – Adrian’s baby. But, as they say, this is simply the lesser of two evils. I felt happy tears brim my eyes for a second time today. Zacky came forward and hugged me. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders, and then my legs around his waist as he picked me up. I faintly heard Matt ask the doctor if I’d need anything else, but I couldn’t hear an answer as Zacky carried me away, Jimmy trailing after us. I was too happy to care.

It’s not my father’s, it’s not my father’s.