Second Chances, Bad Habits

Kissing Deli’s hair I began to mumble the words of Audience of One to her. The words flowed from my mouth with perfect clarity, I’ve known all the words to that song for the longest time. Looking down at Deli I noticed that she had fallen asleep. She’s been through a lot today, I can’t blame her for falling asleep.

Caressing her cheek I kissed it and smiled. She’s so beautiful. I really don’t tell her that enough, I should start doing that. Silently I vowed to remind Deli of how beautiful she is each day, or even better multiple times a day. I think I like that idea better. Again I smiled and started rubbing the small of Deli’s back. She curled in tighter to me and her hands held my arm tightly.

Her ever growing stomach touched my torso. My eyes became misty, it’s crazy to think that very soon Deli and I will be parents. I’m so excited to see our babies and play daddy but I’m scared all at once. All the things the guys said are really sticking with me. I mean I’m terrified to loose Deli or Oscar and Amy, I don’t know what I would do if I did.

Chewing my bottom lip I kissed Deli’s hair again. I can’t think like that. I have to be positive. I know what could happen, but no one said any of those things really would happen to us. If we’re lucky none of those things will happen. I just have to be hopeful that those things don’t happen.

Just as I was about to smile and kiss Deli again she began whimpering in her sleep. I gave her a strange and worried look. Her whimpers soon turned to actual cries. Deli began screaming my name over and over again, each time she got louder.

“ASHLEY! ASHLEY!” panicking I began to shake her.

“Deli! Deli baby wake up!” my shaking and talking to her in a moderate level voice did nothing. I sat down on her legs, keeping her down because she had started to squirm, I began to scream at her.

“Deli! It’s ok! Its just a dream!” I watched Deli with terror waiting for her to wake up. I continued to shake her until she woke up.

The second her eyes fluttered open I pulled her tight into my chest. Holding her close to me I felt my eyes start to water, I’m not going to cry but I was so scared.

“Deli, baby you scared me.” running the tips of my fingers through her hair I kissed the side of her head.

“A-Ash...?” Deli’s voice was shaky and low. Letting go of her I looked her over.

“Babe, are you okay?” as I spoke a pained look washed over Deli’s face. Grasping her stomach she groaned. “Deli!?” terror was laced in my voice when Deli didn’t speak to me.

“A-Ash, I think I’m going into labor.” Deli’s words hit me like a brick.

No. Not now. Not yet. I can’t loose Deli or the babies.