I Believe We're The Enemy

Last Inferno’s P.O.V.

The next week passes in peace. While I quickly grow accustomed to Gerard’s attention, I stay far away from the rest of the boys; Whatsername, on the other hand, seems to trust only Frank. Even though they’ve become unexpectedly close, there’s obviously no romantic element between the two, because Whatsername and romance are beyond polar opposites. I attempt to remain neutral, but every once in a while, Gerard’s uplifting sideways smirk makes my heart skip a happy beat. Sometimes, I find myself gazing desperately at his pale, silken lips, wondering just how soft they really are.

“Inferno? Last Inferno? Um, why do you keep staring at my mouth?” I blush cherry red and look away rapidly, not wanting him to realize how I just might secretly feel about him. Luckily, he seems oblivious. “I just wanted your opinion on this picture. Does this look like a tumbleweed to you?”

I nod, laughing at yet another of his entertaining desert doodles. Suddenly, an idea sparks in my head. “Gee, you wanna see my secret talent?” He nods hesitantly, and I grab his hand and drag him out of the hotel. For several minutes, he watches in puzzlement as I collect various desert plants, mashing them into several potion-like mixtures and sometimes adding brilliantly-hued desert dust for color. Finally, I dip my fingers in a few of the concoctions and approach the wall of the hotel with a broad grin.

“Finger painting?” Gerard asks with a slightly taunting chuckle.

“Any type of painting, really,” I reply, running my paint-smeared hands across the wall in smooth, circular patterns. “I love colors. I live for color. That’s why I’m a Killjoy in the first place, because I couldn’t stand the blankness. Colors are emotions; they can seem exactly the same, but in reality they convey completely different messages. Without color, without feeling, we’re not even living.” A small layer of sweat beads across my forehead as Gerard nods, those beautiful eyes gazing straight into me. I feel as if he’s reading my mind, so I turn my attention to my shaky fingers, guiding them in the correct directions as my design comes to life.

For hours I work away at the mural growing before my eyes. I often request Gerard’s help in filling in large patches of color, or his advice on what to add to my scene. When we finally finish, we’re standing before an enormous picture that looks just like the desert surrounding us, but... gorgeous. In the middle, a dark silhouette that Gerard created to look rather like Ginny (“The first time I saw her, she was running like that. She was born to keep running”) is dashing across the wall, toward the safety of the hotel door around the corner. Underneath this, the words KEEP RUNNING are written in enormous yellow letters, also Gerard’s choice. I notice that his ray gun is also yellow. As we step back to admire our painting, he shuffles closer to me, and I feel his blue-clad arm brushing gently against my own.

“It’s beautiful,” he says softly, his hazel eyes reflecting the sunset scene we’ve created. Suddenly, he turns to face me, and our gazes lock onto each other’s. “You’re beautiful.”

Then his lips are touching mine and they’re so soft and so are his fingers on my cheek and his hair is falling from behind his ear and I can feel it brushing against my skin but I can’t see it because my eyes are closed but something is very very wrong and I have to jump away and he does too, his beautiful beautiful beautiful eyes startled because he didn’t expect this. “No,” we both murmur at the same time, our eyes locked as we stare at each other in shock. Gerard may be so perfect but we’re not meant to be together, maybe forever, or maybe just for now, I don’t know.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles. “I thought that would be right... We... I guess we’re just not meant to be together. I’m sorry, Inferno.” My heart thuds extra hard at the disappointment on his face.

“Gee,” I whisper, “it’s okay. Maybe someday we’ll be right for each other. For now, we can’t, but someday we could be. Okay?”

He gazes at me forlornly. “Will you be my best friend? Please? Last Inferno, I’m not about to let you go.”

Tears suddenly attack the corners of my eyes, and I hear his breath catch in his throat as I begin to cry. “Gee... Hold me, please,” I whisper, groping through the fuzzy tear-world for him and his oh-so-velvety skin. He pulls me into his chest and holds me close as I sob. “I’m so lonely, Gee,” I continue, my voice muffled by his shoulder. “I’ve always wanted a friend... I love Whatsername, but she’s so distant and surreal that sometimes I think she’s just a figment of my imagination. I’m so afraid. All I want is someone to lean on, to share my life with, and I find that and then I go and mess it up. Gerard, I’m such a fucking idi-”

“No,” he growls, his stance suddenly becoming protective as he pulls me even closer to him. “You are not an idiot, Inferno. You are beautiful and intelligent and I-”

“Gee... I’m not just an Inferno. I-I’m Lariah. Lariah Violet Case.”

“You interrupted me. I love you.”

I can’t breathe, he’s so beautiful and those gorgeous eyes confirm it; he loves me. “I... I love you too, Gee.”

He’s about to hug me again, but all of a sudden we hear a sizzling sound, and on my arm sits a visible drop of painful rain. Gerard curses and starts to drag me toward the door, but I’m so sad and tired and weak that my legs won’t move (or maybe I just want him to hold me). He picks me up bridal style and dashes into the hotel, leaning over me to protect me from the rain. His gentle arms carry me up the stairs and drop me onto his bed next to Frank’s sleeping body, and I don’t ask why he doesn’t put me in my bed on the floor, I just let him climb under the covers beside me and drift off to sleep there. In sleep, he is dazzling. His long, deep brown eyelashes twitch along to his dreams, and his lips are just like pink velour. I do nothing but sit and love him.

It takes me hours to tumble into my own dreams, and when I do, they’re not pleasant. Jimmy follows me through the the corridors of Battery City, his signature leer plastered to his face, and images of Whatsername lying on the floor, blood pouring from her throat, refuse to leave my vision. No matter where I run, the two doomed lovers are there, forever angry, forever suffering. Then Gerard is there, clutching my shoulders and dragging me away, and I finally awaken.

“Lariah, babe, you’re alright,” Gerard whispers, clutching my body in his oh-so-strong arms. “It was a dream. None of it was real, you’re okay now.” I shake my head violently and bury my face in his warm shoulder.

“It was real, Gee. It’s all just memories...” He gazes at me in confusion, his eyes bearing more dread than puzzlement.

“What do you mean, Lari?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Can I call you Vi, then?” he queries, his gentle fingers stroking the side of my face. I nod.

“I like my middle name. It makes me feel innocent.”

“But... Lariah... What were you dreaming about?”

I glance over my shoulder to make sure that Whatsername is solidly asleep, take a deep breath, and delve into my story.

The silence was endless, so deep and so thick that sometimes I thought it was consuming me whole. Even our guards never spoke, and Whatsername was so angry that the only sound she ever made was the occasional scream of rage, which just resulted in punishment via draculoids. I was lonely, afraid, and depressed, but every once in a while, when I could convince Whatsername to forget her betrayal, I had a friend, at least for a few hours. She was a kind girl back then; even though she’d already lost her trust in people, she was still civil, and she had an incredibly beautiful voice. It was a shame to see it taken away.

After two years of a torturous monotone of a lifetime, change finally came. The dracs drained from the small corridor, and a tall, lanky figure walked in, its eyes glowing hungrily as it spotted Whatsername. She let out a quiet hiss when the man unlocked our door, chewing anxiously on the glimmering black ring in the center of his bottom lip. He pulled the cell door open and beckoned us out, his purply-indigo eyes taking in my friend’s stick-thin form as she stepped across the threshold. A tiny giggle bubbled and then died in my throat as I realized that he was wearing colored contacts.

“Lisette,” he said softly, his starving gaze raking Whatsername’s body. “Please, forgive me. I was wrong. I miss you.”

Her eyes narrowed. “What do you want from me, Jimmy?”

Jimmy sighed. “I’m freeing you, and your friend. You don’t deserve to be treated like a fucking Killjoy for your mistakes.”

“Mistakes?” Whatsername spat, stepping away from her ex-boyfriend. “I never made any mistakes. You were the mistaken one.”

“I want you back, Lisette. I love you.”

Whatsername closed her eyes and let out a shaky sigh. “I don’t want to be here anymore, but-”

“Come with me!” Jimmy interjected desperately. “You don’t have to be a rebel! Just turn back into a normal girl again, forget about it all, and we’ll be together. You’ll be safe again. All you have to do is take the pills, and you’ll be one of us. We can be normal people again.”

“What? Fuck it, Jimmy, I’m not going to be a zombie!”

“You WON’T be a zombie! We’ll just be fucking lovers again!”

Whatsername gritted her teeth furiously, squared her shoulders, and spat in Jimmy’s direction, her face a perfect picture of fury. “You seriously expect me to bow to BL/ind’s every whim just to be with you again? You betrayed me. Nothing you can do can stop me from being a rebel!”

Jimmy studied her for a long minute before punching her square in the face. “You wouldn’t dare, Lisette. You wouldn’t dare.” I let out a long, high-pitched scream as he pulled a switchblade from his boot and attacked her, gouging at her slender neck. Blood flew in every direction, dousing both Jimmy and I, until he finally let go of her emaciated body and dropped her to the ground. At first, she had screamed, but halfway through the ordeal her voice was cut off, and now she lay on the floor, coughing erratically as she cringed away from the enraged Jimmy.

“What do you think now, Lis?” he hissed, kicking her violently as she spat a glob of red liquid onto the floor before him. She opened her mouth to reply, but all that came out was thick, mucus-streaked blood. My heart started to flail wildly in my ribcage as I realized that if he didn’t plan to kill her, he’d at least go for rape. His gun was so close, sticking out tauntingly from his white S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W belt...

Jimmy shrieked in pain as I shot him and kicked his body aside. I grabbed Whatsername’s slender, blood-coated body, flung her over my shoulder, and ran, shooting down drac after drac with Jimmy’s gun as I raced to escape. On the way out of the city, I stopped next to the enormous gates and threw up everywhere, unable to purge my mind of its gory newfound memories. Whatsername, now able to walk, guided my starved, shuddering form toward an abandoned BL/ind van, where she tried and failed to murmur words of comfort until I finally recovered enough to start the van and drive away.

“He hurt you,” I finally mumbled.

Whatsername nodded.

“You can’t talk now, can you?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but all that came out was a tortured cough and another pinprick of crimson. After that day, she was no longer just Whatsername, just Lisette; she became fury. She was angry, enraged, hostile, sad, and forever and ever speechless.

“Vi... I’m sorry,” Gerard whispers, holding me close to him. He doesn’t protest as I begin to sob into his chest, using his shirt to block a wail of agony. “You’re safe with us, baby. You and Whatsername. We’ll take care of you.” I nod even though I don’t quite believe him.

Overwhelming need takes over my body, and for practically no reason I almost cry out in pain. “Gee... Please,” I gasp, clutching the ends of his grimy red hair. “Please...”

“Please what?” he asks tentatively, rubbing my back with gentle fists.

“Tell me y-you love me,” I whisper. My loneliness shines through in all its painful glory, and Gerard chuckles.

“Lariah, you are dazzlingly beautiful and kind enough to make a thousand Fabulous Killjoys swoon in unison. Even though I’ve barely known you for two weeks, I love you as much as I love Mikey and Frank, and I’m beyond proud to call you my best friend.” He kisses the side of my mouth oh-so-gently, pulling me into the warmth of his chest, and my blush succeeds in carrying my thoughts away from Jimmy and Lisette. I wish that his skin sent up sparks when it met mine, and that those infallible hazel eyes shone only for me, but what flows in the air between us isn’t that kind of love. Not now, at least.

“Gee,” I whisper, clutching his solid shoulders with fingers that spell desperation, “why can’t we be in love?”

He sighs. “We’re afraid.”

“Of what?”

“Ourselves. Each other. Our emotions.” His eyes flit away from my gaze. “It took so long for Mikey to admit that he was in love with Rose... He was so scared taht she was going to give him ‘rabies’, and that was apparently the worst thing in the whole wide world. So many things can go wrong when you’re in love, Vi, and we’re just as terrified of them as Mikey and Glory were. Once we get over that fear... Then, Inferno, that’s when we’ll be in love.”

I turn away from him but press my back against his chest, giving a mental fist-pump as he wraps his arm around my waist. “I want it to go faster,” I whisper, closing my eyes in temporary bliss as he kisses my temple with his super-soft lips.

“Join the club,” he replies in an almost seductive tone. I roll my eyes.

“Good night, Gee.”

“G’night, Vi, m’love.”