I Believe We're The Enemy

Frank’s P.O.V.

Gerard is finally awake.

Emotion overcomes me as I hear his delicate inflection and race into our bedroom, launching my undersized figure at the sound of his voice. He catches me, perfectly, beautifully, and we’re both giggling our heads off, desperate to finally be together again. I smash my lips into his as a sort of good-morning kiss, but before I can pull away and keep laughing, he grabs the back of my head and drags me back toward him. Shrugging it off, I decide to just go along with his odd behavior. As if he’s realizing that I won’t try to fight back, Gerard moves his hands to my hips, stroking the small patch of skin revealed by my shirt, and as a fresh wave of relief rushes over me, my leg falls in between his and rubs against his crotch, making him groan strangely.

“You’re so sexy, Frank,” Gerard murmurs, grabbing my hips and grating them against his own. I open my mouth to reply, but he cuts me off, forcing his tongue between my lips as he kisses me with unnerving intensity. After a short struggle, I finally detach his mouth from my own, confusion wafting over my skin in waves.

“Gerard, what are you doing? I thought-”

He puts a finger to my lips to cut me off. “For so long, Frankie, you’ve been so special to me. You’re so beautiful, and kind, and smart, and small, just like a little songbird that I could keep in my hands forever. Finally, after so many years of just being your best friend, I realized that I love you. I dream about you sometimes, and whenever I’m with you, all I can think about is how much I want you.” He kisses me softly at the end of this, and before I can even respond, he’s tugging my shirt over my head and throwing it aside. Anxiety buzzes in my veins.

“Gee, are you serious? Shouldn’t we... talk about this first?” I mumble into his lips, wincing at the pressure of his fingers on my tender skin.

“As serious as I can be.”

I try to pull away, but he’s like Velcro, always holding me back. “Please, Gerard, stop, I don’t want to-”

He stops me by mashing his face against mine again and rolling on top of me, landing squarely between my legs. Now I know that it’s hopeless; this nightmare of a Gerard will get his way, no matter what I do.

I wake up shaking, my body covered in cold sweat and terrified goosebumps. Next to me, Gerard is still firmly asleep, and I leap away from his still figure, suddenly immensely afraid of him. It all felt so real, so painful, so terrifying, that seeing Gerard in the flesh scares me to no end. Does he actually feel that way? I thought he liked Inferno, not me. Honestly, if he actually thinks that I’m worth his attention in that way, I don’t know if I’ll be able to turn him down. He is my best friend, after all, and I don’t want to hurt him. I’m just so lonely.

Suddenly, Gerard’s words from the dream return to me, and I feel tears gnawing at my eyelids; nobody has ever told me that I’m sexy before. I’ve never been special, or loved, or wanted. Only Gerard told me on a regular basis that he loved me, which only scares me more, but at the same time, I miss the real Gerard. It’s dark in our room, and all my old demons seem to be creeping from inside the walls, burning little holes in my vulnerable heart. If Gerard were awake, I know that he would be here for my, holding me in his gentle arms and telling me that he loves me. Oh, what I would give to hear that voice again.

“Gee?” I whisper into the darkness, turning to face him. Silence. I pick up his hand and lay back down next to him, soaking up the warmth from his serenely beating heart. “Tell me you love me, please,” I breathe, desperate to feel his words flow over my skin. I’ve never been big on words, but Gerard is an artist with them. I love to hear his speak; he’s so beautiful, his voice so perfect, that I can listen in rapture for hours. My body curls into his, my head lying on his slender chest, and I cry, pouring out all my fear and desperation and loneliness and love into him.

“Frank?” I barely respond to Mikey’s voice as he enters the room and closes the door behind him. “Are you okay? I thought I heard screaming, and then from outside I could tell you were crying...”

I take a deep, shuddering breath to compose myself before replying. “I want him to wake up, Mikey. I want him to hold me and tell me he loves me, and I want everything to be okay again. I had a weird dream...” Quickly, I describe my absurd nightmare to Mikey, never leaving Gerard’s side as I do so.

“That’s... really weird.”

“Does he really feel that way, Mikey? I don’t want to hurt him, but I’m not in love with him. That’s just not what he is to me.”

Mikey sighs. “I thought we all came to the agreement that Gerard is in love with Last Inferno. Even if he isn’t, I don’t think he would really... do that to you. He loves you a lot, Frankie, and he always wants what’s best for you, no matter what that means for him.”

This only makes me cry harder. “What if all this time, he’s been in love with me, and I’ve just been hurting him? I feel so shitty about all of this... I’m such a fucking idiot.”

“Frank Anthony Iero,” Mikey snaps, “none of that is true and you know it. Gerard is a sensible guy; he wouldn’t go pining after someone who doesn’t love him. He cares about you, and if he wakes up for any one reason, that one reason will be you.”

I give a tiny sniffle, smirking at how wrong Mikey is; everybody knows that Gerard loves his little brother the most. “If you say so.”

Mikey climbs onto the bed next to me and gives me a gentle hug. “I miss him too, Frankie. If he doesn’t wake up soon, I’ll... I’ll beat him up, okay?”

I laugh. “Sure. Just don’t hurt him too bad. He still has to look nice and pretty for whenever we find Last Inferno again.”

“We could give him a makeover while he’s still asleep.”

My mouth releases another hysterical chuckle. “That would be mean, Mikey.”

He sighs. “Fine.”

We stay together for the rest of the night, watching Gerard sleep and chattering lightly. I let my head rest on Mikey’s shoulder, and he curls up next to me, our bodies close enough to ward off the terror festering in the room’s dark, dusty corners. Right before sunrise, Ginny creeps in silently and curls up next to me, nuzzling her way between Mikey and I. Mikey attempts to hide his irritable sigh, but it’s no use; we all know that the two are constantly on each other’s nerves. As Ginny rests her head on my chest with the tiniest of sniffles, I take her hand gently, asking what happened, since she obviously has a good reason for hunting me down.

“Ray is playing his guitar again,” she begins with a melancholy air. “Normally he lets me listen, as long as I don’t talk to him and I stay in the hallway, but this time, the moment he heard me outside, he came out of his room and told me to leave, and he looked so fucking angry that I couldn’t stand to be alone.” Lonely tears continue to flow down her face, and I hold her close to my body, feeling her shake against me. Mikey sighs.

“Ray is in a really bad mood. I think we’re all pissing him off, because he’s so damn depressed that I just want to smack him upside the head and scream until he finally shuts up.” Ginny’s lip quivers, as if she can’t stand the idea of this happening to her lover.

“I’m sorry, Mikey, I-”

“Stop apologizing!” Mikey snaps, his coffee-colored eyes blazing. “You’re driving me insane. None of this is your fault. Ray is the idiot here.”

Ginny shrinks away from Mikey fearfully. “He’s not an idiot. He’s mad at me.”

“Ginny, if he was just mad at you, he would’ve gotten over this by now. He’s afraid, and confused, and lost, and he doesn’t realize exactly what he means to you,” I explain cautiously.

“I love him. I miss him so badly...”

Startlingly, Mikey whips his head around to glare at her, his temper hot enough to vaporize Ginny’s fragile heart in instants. “Quit pining after him! If you just keep being a pain in his ass, he’s never going to be your little lover again. You just need to stand up tall and be confident in yourself, like you used to be, and maybe then he’ll see the old Ginny and come crawling back to you.”

“No, he won’t. He’ll think I don’t need him anymore.”

“But he needs you,” I interject, gazing down at Ginny fondly. “No matter what happens, he’s going to need you, simply because he loves you and he loves loving you. Either he’ll let you back in or he’s just rot away, bit by bit, until you both die some way or another.”

“I don’t want him to die.”

Mikey leaves, his blond hair sticking up in all directions as he storms off to his own room. Ginny sniffles softly but stays quiet.

“Ginny, I’m sorry,” I whisper to her, discreetly omitting the ‘babe’ from my sentence. She simply buries her face in my shoulder, and as I wrap my arms around her and hold her close, I finally realize how much weight she’s lost. Her skin is unusually pale, and it seems to be stretched over her slender frame, making the fragility of her bones absurdly apparent. Due to the tears that seem to be forever streaking down her softly-featured face, her eyes are always red, and her hair is one enormous mess tumbling down her back. In general, she’s a wreck.

“Frank, are you okay?” she queries, her intelligent gaze quickly noticing the fear and loneliness swarming in my eyes. I reply with a shake of my head, refusing to meet her gaze. “Frankie?” she asks again, snuggling closer to me as I refuse to let her see how fucking sad I am.

“I’m fine, Ginny. I just had a weird dream.”

She doesn’t believe me. “You’re not okay. I haven’t seen you this sad since the day I yelled at you and you ran off and when Gerard went to comfort you, he came back looking all worried and covered in barf.”

“Thanks for the nasty image, Ginger.”

“Look, Frank, I’m just trying to help you. I know you’re having a hard time without Gerard, and so am I, so can’t you at least talk to me?” She’s moved even closer to me now, and her entire body is pressed against my side as she gazes up at me with begging eyes. Her arms wrap around me gently, and for a long moment I think she’s going to kiss me. The mere thought makes my heart race, and I look away and force myself to think of Whatsername (FUCK) until I no longer feel as if I’m about to lean down and meet her lips with my own.

“Ginny... I’m just lonely, okay? I miss Gee, and I’m just... thinking about things. I’m a little sad.”

She gives an irritable huff. “Why don’t you trust me? Just because I love Ray doesn’t mean that I’m not watching out for you. I care about you. I want you to be happy.”

My eyes are suddenly ablaze, and my heart throbs with hurt. “Then why the fuck has it taken you this long to realize that I’m not okay?”

“I-”

“You’re too busy chasing after Ray, that’s why! How can you still want him after all he’s done to you? It’s hopeless, Ginny. You’re both better off without each other.”

In these few sentences, I probably severed the few heartstrings keeping her together; her whole face quivers for a few seconds, and then she shrinks away from me and curls up in a ball, her body so still and quiet that I doubt she’s even crying anymore. I know that I’ve said the wrong thing, and I immediately feel bad, but I stay speechless as I wrap my hopeless frame around her silent one and nuzzle my face into the back of her neck. She seems to have suddenly lost all will to live. Once again, I wish with all my might for Gerard to wake up. He’d be able to convince her that everything is okay without even breaking a sweat.

“Frank,” she whispers, “why do you all love me in the first place?”

I smile, remembering the time I asked Gerard a similar question, and I give her the same answer that I received. “Your physiognomy is appealing.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

I laugh. “You have a pretty face.”

“Oh.”

We fall asleep like that, my body curled around the tiny ball that is Ginny. My face stays pressed against her smooth skin, and she soon relaxes, letting my apologetic touch comfort her. She insists on staying in bed for hours after the sunrise, and I stay with her, because I don’t trust her not to just up and die on me if she’s all alone. Around noon, Ray bursts into the room and drags me off the bed, mumbling something about how only I know how to fry Power Pup and nobody wants to eat it raw. In truth, I burn it, but it tastes better than it does straight from the can. Obviously, Ray is enraged by the state he found Ginny and I in, but he tries to hide it.

“Ray?” Ginny murmurs, sitting up slowly.

“Don’t... Just leave me alone.”

“I love you.”

Ray rolls his eyes and storms away, throwing a heated “shut up” in her direction. He must think it’s some sort of twisted joke, finding her all tangled up in me and then listening to her informing him of her love. If it is, he’s the prankster.

I keep an even closer watch on Ginny now, searching her constantly for signs of the utter resignation that I know is starting to attack her. As much as I love her and sometimes wish she was my own, I still want Ray to forgive her; watching her fall apart like this hurts me as well. He’s being such a stupid motherfucker. What she did was purely accidental, just in a frenzied attempt to save Gerard, and she doesn’t deserve the hatred he’s giving her. Slowly but surely, we’re all falling apart, and as I hear the feverish making-out noises from Mikey and Rose’s room intensify as the nights pass, I come to realize that the only thing that’s going to save us is love, and, therefore, one another.

When I can’t sleep over the next few nights, I always leave my room to check on Ginny, only to find her curled up outside Ray’s door, the only truth making its way into her dreams being the sound of his guitar drifting from within his room. I never dare to wake her up. Imagination allows me to hope that wherever she’s drifted off to, even if it’s just her memories, that she’s happy there.