'Safe' Is Not A Word In My Vocabulary

“Why do you think she forgot?” I asked when I explained the situation to Leah. She shrugged her slim shoulders.

“I don’t know, maybe while she was sick her mind blocked out what happened. I saw this TV show where some doctor said that sometimes people block bad memories from their subconscious to avoid traumatic breakdowns.”

I sighed, “Well, I guess we can figure it out later, Kim’s waiting for me.” I gave her a one armed hug said goodbye and walked out.

Kim scoffed when I got in my mustang. “Took you long enough,” she muttered. I smiled apologetically.

“Sorry, let’s get to the beach.” I said, she smiled and I started driving, praying that he wouldn’t be there.

Of course Im never that lucky, right?

XxX

“JARED PUT ME DOWN!” Kim screamed when Jared picked her up. He smirked from beneath her before throwing her into the water.

She squealed and tackled him, soaking him and throwing him back into the waves while they kissed.

I raised an eyebrow and Paul and Quil chuckled from next to me.

“Welcome to our world,” Paul muttered and my brow rose even higher.

Jacob was sitting silently, a little bit away from us, his gaze was fixated on me, but I had refused to look at him since I got here.

“So what are the he-wolves up to today?” Quil asked and I laughed slightly. “Well, last night Crusher mentioned something about robbing a 7-11 so I have no idea.”

Paul grinned and Quil laughed. “Is that what you were texting about?” he asked and I shrugged while nodding.

It started to rain and people who we are the beach started to run towards their cars and such. I laughed at them. It wasn’t like they’d die if they got wet, although the dude with the laptop did have an excuse.

I threw my head towards the sky and stuck my tongue out.

The guys laughed and Kim ran towards us. “It’s COLD!” she screamed laughing while Jared shielded her with his arm. I laughed and I saw Jacob smile slightly out of the corner of my eye.

“Let’s get you out of here before you get sick again.” I suggested and she grinned.

We all went our separate ways but Quil went with me and Kim went with Jared.

We pulled up outside my house and I walked in, soaking wet.

“FLUFFY! IM HOME!” I called and ‘Chris’ walked in a second later, chuckling.

“Fluffy is not here right now, he went to go help Crusher jack a 7-11.” I groaned playfully and Quil laughed.

I danced into the kitchen, spinning and spraying water everywhere. “Watch it,” Damien warned “I just mopped this floor.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Okay mom, I will try not to make a mess.” I said sarcastically. He threw a onesie at me.

I walked over to my room after telling Quil to wait there. I reemerged with new clothes and was braiding my hair quickly.

I tossed him the towel I’d thought to grab and he started drying himself.

“Hungry?” I asked when he was finished he smirked. “You forget Im a werewolf.” He said and I laughed while fishing some leftover cake K-9 had from yesterday out of the fridge.

He remembered to chew and I ate an apple ‘Chris’ handed me.

I reminded myself to be more careful with what I called him since Quil was here.

“So how you been?” Quil asked hesitantly. I froze mid chew and looked at him confused. “What do you mean?” I asked softly. He looked sympathetic, it made my stomach twist.

I didn’t need anybody’s fucking pity.

“I heard…what happened with Jacob, he didn’t want us to know but, you know how it is with the telepathy thing…” I smiled and shrugged.

“Im okay I guess, Im kinda pissed at him but I guess you knew that.” He grinned for a moment before adding a humorless chuckle.

“Yeah, you were totally giving him the cold shoulder last night and today, he was going crazy.” I pouted, sticking my lip out and purposefully ignored that.

Jacob’s POV

'Talk to me,' I begged.

'Look at me, please.'

Centhua continued to ignore me, her conversation fixated on Quil and to my disappointment, Paul.

Her silent treatment hurt worse than if she’d been yelling at me. Especially since, with the silent treatment, there was no way for me to defend myself.

I was ignoring it as best I could, but it was painful too.

It started raining and I looked up at the sky. Centhua laughed like a child and stuck out her tongue. I smiled for half a second, and then I couldn’t take it anymore.

I couldnt handle how fast she had moved on. How fast she had pushed me from her life and forgotten about me. Like I was nothing to her.

I got up and walked into the forest. I stripped down and phased to my wolf-self. Sam was the only one on patrol and he understood my state of mind.

He phased out quickly and I was alone again.

I was always alone now.

Centhua’s POV

“Were home!” Crusher called walking in. He grinned at me and held up a huge blue cup. “Got you a Slurpee,” he said grinning again. I smiled and took the cup, it was freezing.

Crusher slid something into my hand too, closing my fist around it. Then he winked and walked off.

I kept my hand carefully around the bundle and waited to my brother left the room. Quil looked at me, both curious and amused.

I smirked at him before loosening my grip.

He chuckled quietly and I grinned.

XxX

I threw my hand back and the rest of the skittles toppled into my mouth.

Damien and K-9 don’t let me have them because they do some strange stuff to me. Like I get hyper and eventually, I crash.

They’re my own brand of heroin.

Quil must’ve guessed by the way I was trying to hide them. He was sitting next to me on the porch, chatting with me about random things, mostly about what a douche Jacob was and how much Claire missed me.

“So did they really rob a 7-11?” He asked curiously. I wondered if the guys could hear him over their video games. I just laughed and shook my head.

“No, Crusher told me last night he was joking, they stopped at an ATM and got me the Slurpee and…other thing last night, it was in the freezer so that’s why it’s frozen.” Quil laughed and reached up to ruffle my hair. I stuck my multi colored tongue at him.

The rain softened, turned to mist and I noticed a huge puddle off the side of my house.

I knew it was the skittles talking but I suddenly wanted to run through it.

I resisted and instead started fixing the braid Quil had just messed up. Quil laughed again and started talking about Claire again.

“Im telling you, the girls got talent.” He said seriously while I giggled. “It was a finger painting Quil,” I said smiling.

He rolled his eyes “You didn’t see it,” he grumbled and I laughed again.

All too soon, my fingers started tapping against the porch rapidly.

I groaned and Quil paused mid-sentence. “What’s wrong?” he asked curiously I groaned again.

“Skittles make me hyper.” I whispered giggling. He grinned and gestured towards the forest.

“Then run,” he suggested. I felt bad but I grabbed his hand anyways.

“Come with me,” I said smiling and cocking a head to the side.

“Wolf or human?” he asked standing up.

I smiled and backed off the porch.

“Wolf.” I answered.

Jacob’s POV

Quil phased and I realized he was with Centhua.

Jealousy shot through me; his thoughts were smug.

Centhua phased a second later and ran out to greet Quil. She tackled him and they wrestled for a few minutes before they took off into the woods.

She was so beautiful it made my head spin. It was like she was meant to be a wolf.

Her fur was white, and her tail was just barely tipped with black at the ends. Her eyes were gold and sparkling in the dim light from the storm.

I wanted to be there, but it wasn’t my place.

Damn right it’s not, Quil thought.

I whimpered from my spot on the ground, curled in loose fetal position somewhere in the mountains by last night’s clearing.

My legs twitched and I had to fight to stay down.

Centhua’s POV

Quil ran next to me, trying to keep up and I started running out towards the mountains. There were a few fading vampire trails but they weren’t the Cullen’s.

I frowned and then I recognized one scent.

What was Irina doing out here?

And more importantly, who was she hanging out with. I stuck my nose closer to the ground and slowed down. Quil came up behind me and his nose wrinkled.

I traced the rail to a river, and huffed.

It ended there.

XxX

“Bye Quil,” I said yawning when he left around six.

I’d be meeting him and the guys around three for practice, but I was going to do a little practicing of my own before then.

I walked a little ways into the woods and looked around. Not a soul in either sight or hearing distance.

I sighed quietly before kneeling towards the ground.

Concentrating on the heat in my stomach, I let my hand pass slowly through the earth. I kept up the pattern until it was mastered, and then I started experimenting with my other hand, and my leg, and then finally, after about an hour, I was able to pass through a 3 and a half foot wide oak tree on command.

I smiled after doing it a few times and laughed happily.

I walked home triumphantly, after deciding to keep this a secret.

I’ve been keeping a lot of secrets.

XxX

K-9 and the guys were engrossed in another game so I went upstairs to get changed.

The person in the mirror always seemed to be different nowadays, but this was beyond scary.

My eyes were streaked with silver and yellow, not ringed, streaked, and my lips seemed redder because of how pale I looked. My hair was growing longer, it was making me shaggy, and it was falling into my face a lot.

I glared at the image until I decided to fix it.

I showered, got out and brushed all the angry snarls from my hair. When I was done I found some scissors in my desk and started cutting.

My hair fell into short curls at my feet and I continued to snip.

I smiled, satisfied with my appearance.

The eyes hadn’t changed, but I wasn’t concerned about that. My hair was shorter now, and I had bangs next to one eye, slightly above it.

Much more convenient.

I skipped cheerfully down the stairs, so I could dinner before we left and Damien looked up from him game.

He grinned at my near shoulder length hair.

“Nice,” he commented while I shrugged. K-9 looked up for half a second, smiled, and looked back down. I walked in the kitchen while Ammo whistled and Crusher laughed.

“Alice is going to be amazed!” K-9 called and I smiled to myself.

K-9 had grown close to some of my vampires when we’d introduced them. He said Alice was like his little sister that he’d known when he was twelve, and that Emmett reminded him of me.

It was sweet knowing he got along with my favorite vamps.

I ignored those starts and started making some tamale’s like my aunt taught me. A few hours later everyone ate I went outside with K-9 and Bones so we could talk about Ammo’s…request.

“So they want to be changed,” Damien/Bones stated with a thoughtful expression. I nodded and crossed my arms over my chest.

K-9 was silent.

“What do you think?” I asked my brothers. Damien seemed confident, but K-9 was unsure.

“Hell yes,” Damien said grinning I glared at him; I’d expected that from K-9.

“I vote for Cent’s plan, let’s see if they can lay low for a while.” K-9 added. I smiled at him.

For some reason, that made me more reluctant.

K-9 knew how painful it was.

XxX

“Chris! Get down here!” I screamed at him in an irritated voice later that night. We were supposed to be at the clearing in twenty minutes and he was holding us up.

“You try changing sex and see how long it takes you to get ready.” He grumbled.

I looked up at him in disgust.

He was enjoying this waaaay to much.

He was Bella right now, wearing her face, her expression her scent. I wouldn’t be surprised if Jasper took a snap at him.

“Alright then Ms. He-she let’s go before this gets any weirder.”

XxX

“Stop staring dammit!” I growled at Emmett when we got to the clearing. Chris/Damien/Bones/Bella (you know what, Im just going call him my brother) chuckled quietly.

Rosalie cringed away from the sound and Emmett laughed. She seemed to be the only one less comfortable than I was.

Alice was more engrossed by my new haircut than anything else and she’d been gushing about it for more than ten minutes. She suggested I get highlights and I said maybe.

The wolves hadn’t arrived yet, nor did Edward or Bella.

I slapped my brother’s shoulder. “Okay, we know it works now will you please change back now.” He chuckled before walking off into the woods a little ways away.

K-9 laughed.

“He’s like Miranda.” He said chortling again.

I smiled at him. Miranda was his little sister’s name.

Chris came back out and took me hand. He played with my fingers until I glared at him.

“You can’t still be mad at me,” he whispered while K-9 joined in the wrestling. He wasn’t that bad, still pretty amateur though.

“Go for the throat!” I screamed at him. He took my advice and Emmett got thrown into a tree. I wolf whistled at him and laughed.

Then I turned back to my brother.

“Im not mad at you, par say, Im more upset about how this is going to end, we’ve been keeping a lot of secrets and if one gets out, this whole life we’ve been living might fall apart.” I said but in Portuguese, so only Carlisle would understand. He nodded in understanding and played with my hand again.

“Don’t worry about it, if worse comes to worst, we’ll pack up and leave.” His reassurance only made me that much more anxious. I dropped his hand rested my head in mine. The wolves had just arrived and I ignored them.

“I don’t want to leave.” I said stubbornly, my Portuguese only a whisper. Damien ruffled my hair and grinned; it was sad to watch.

“Survival first,” he said before going to yell at K-9 in English. I sighed and fell back against the grass.

The moon shrinking was making me anxious; it was only half full now, if that and I didn’t feel the desire to run.

In a weird was, the shrinking orb was pressing down on me with an invisible weight, making me exhausted.

I furry chocolate colored face stuck itself in my line of view. I raised an eyebrow at Quil and he smiled a wolfy smile. I sat up and grinned. He nuzzled my hair and I giggled.

Bella and Edward approached then and Bella stared in awe at the giant dog above me. I waved at her and crawled from beneath Quil so I could stand up. I stretched while my joints popped and I groaned.

“S’up Quil,” I asked stretching again.

He shrugged his giant shoulders and looked over to where my brother(s) were wrestling.

They were laughing and snarling.

I smiled bleakly before looking over at Embry, who looked particularly bored. Jacob was snuggling with Bella and I fought back a laugh at the thought to hide my breaking heart.

Quil looked at me curiously and Jacob looked up too.

I just shook my head.

XxX

Edward asked me to help him and Jasper demonstrate on multiple attackers, so I said I would.

Jasper and I stood side by side, my arms crossed and his hands hooked into rigged claws.

Edward took care of Jasper easily but I jumped on his back and didn’t let go. As soon as Jasper recovered he tackled Edward and we pinned him down.

The wolves grumbled, apart from Jacob and I released Edward at the same time Jasper did.

Edward chuckled and addressed the wolves.

“That was what you don’t do,” he said and I kicked him.

He jerked upright and we started again, this time we showed them the right way and Edward pinned Jasper down again. I danced out of the way though and Emmett and Edward moved on me.

“Hey, watch it,” I warned backing up. They grinned simultaneously and I bolted.

Chris laughed from his place wrestling on the ground with K-9.

“Careful!” he shouted “She’s an easy bruiser!” I stuck my tongue at him and took to the trees. Emmett climbed up after me and I tackled him, both of us falling. Edward hung back and watched.

I ducked under Emmett right as he got his footing back and spin kicked him into Chris. The both crashed into each other and flew back into the trees.

I smiled sweetly.

“Who’s the easy bruiser again?” I teased.

Chris groaned and the wolves chuckled.

XxX

“Night boys!” I yelled tiredly when we went to bed. The fight was in two days and I’d be camping out with Bella and Edward tomorrow.

The wolves had been told about how Chris was taking her place and Jacob looked almost as disgusted as I felt.

I let it slide though, for the night, all I was going to do was rest.

I fell asleep before my head hit the pillow.

XxX

It was cold; my body was overheating because of how cold it was.

I was shivering and I jogged beside Edward towards the camp site.

He and Bella had already laid the trail and Jacob was carrying her here.

Edward and I reached the site and I started helping him get the stuff together. He stopped me though and wordlessly gave me his jacket, a crooked smile on his face.

I smiled apologetically before taking it.

I had on a black t-shirt and a thick red sweater but my body tends to overreact to changes in climate.

Edwards coat helped a lot, despite it being cold from his skin.

XxX

Jacob and Bella arrived and Bella walked right over and stubbornly took Edward’s hand. He grinned at the awkwardness and Jacob watched me from the corner of his eye, talking to Edward.

Edward got Bella inside and Jacob frowned at my jacket. I glared at him and was about to go in too when he grabbed my arm.

“Cent, can we talk, please?” he begged. I sighed before allowing him to tug me into the cover of the trees.

“What?” I asked coldly and he flinched a little.

“Cent, I really don’t think you should fight tomorrow,” he whispered desperately. I narrowed my eyes at him and he gripped my arms.

“No offense intended, but please, I can’t stand it.” I scoffed at him and rolled my eyes.

“You’ll live,” I stated and he cupped my face. I cringed and he brought me closer.

I wanted to phase and go through him, but I didn’t want anyone to know I’d accessed my powers.

“I don’t think so,” he argued his eyes doing the smoldering thing again. I glared again.

“If you cared so much, you would’ve tried to talk to me before now instead of avoiding me and shoving all your attention to Bella.”

He glared too.

“Oh, I was avoiding you!?!” he challenged I nodded, it was difficult with his hands gripping my face.

“You’ve got it twisted Cent.” His voice was bitter.

“I was going through hell.” I whispered and scowled at him, my voice low and deadly. His expression softened though.

“I know, and I was too, believe me, but I can’t live without you anymore, and I dont want to.” He whimpered, sounding desperate almost.

His begging was exhausting me. I didn’t want to do this now; it’d just make the fighting that much more complicated. I didn’t need him worried about me tomorrow.

“Try,” I whispered harshly before jerking out of his hold and walking back towards the camp site.