Chronology of Me
Coin Operated Boy
Sometimes I feel something like a machine, one of the ones you pop a couple of dollars in to hear you fortune. My cold metallic frame sits freezing in the corner while the rest of the world interacts and communicates with one another.
Then occasionally someone comes over and pops a buck into my stomach. Of course I'm dying to say all the things on my mind, what if feels like to sit in a corner and be nothing more than an inanimate object, how I'm sick of only being able to speak when people want me to.
But none of these things come out of my mouth.
No, instead I begin spitting words that are in no way my own, words that the people who designed me programmed me to say.
Everyone laughs, giggles, or bitches about wasting their money... then they walk away.
I feel like this almost constantly... I'm some inanimate object used to bring people temporary joy or simply just to waste people's time.
So it's times like that when "crying in the rain" actually helps me, because it rips all those layers of metal from my skin and sends me crashing back into my head... it's one of the few times I can ever feel like a person.
Why do I want to feel human?
It's all I've ever tried to be, and everything I've never been.
Then occasionally someone comes over and pops a buck into my stomach. Of course I'm dying to say all the things on my mind, what if feels like to sit in a corner and be nothing more than an inanimate object, how I'm sick of only being able to speak when people want me to.
But none of these things come out of my mouth.
No, instead I begin spitting words that are in no way my own, words that the people who designed me programmed me to say.
Everyone laughs, giggles, or bitches about wasting their money... then they walk away.
I feel like this almost constantly... I'm some inanimate object used to bring people temporary joy or simply just to waste people's time.
So it's times like that when "crying in the rain" actually helps me, because it rips all those layers of metal from my skin and sends me crashing back into my head... it's one of the few times I can ever feel like a person.
Why do I want to feel human?
It's all I've ever tried to be, and everything I've never been.
♠ ♠ ♠
Ugh, this was horribly stupid, so this is short because I deleted half of it. I am in dire need of sleep, so the last half (which I deleted) made absolutely no fucking sense at all. So yeah... I'm sure it can all relate back to the fact that this week I've been running off of only a couple of hours of sleep.Mr. Sandmannn, bring me a fucking crowbar to the face so I can finally get knocked the fuck out and sleeeeep.
[:
Oh, and thanks for the comments, everyone... going to attempt this thing called sleep.
=Shaun
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch=8V-E9cLfMT8[/youtube]
Just to be festive.
Though I am tempted to post a Dresden Dolls song just because of the title.