Driven to Distraction

My heart was broken for the first time on my last day of sophomore year.

I could tell something was off with John the minute we met in the parking lot that morning, but I didn’t know exactly what it was. I tried asking him more than once what was wrong, but he’d shrug me off and say it was nothing, that he just didn’t get enough sleep the night before. So, I left it at that.

When the final bell rang, signaling the start of summer, I saw Garrett standing in the doorway – something that wasn’t unusual. But he had a look on his face, a sort of somber look, and it scared me because Garrett wasn’t the type of person to wear a sad face. He was always happy and talking my ear off nonstop, but when I met him at the door, he didn’t say anything.

“Gare, what’s wrong?” I finally asked once we reached my locker, not being able to take the silence any longer.

He cleared his throat, as if he were snapping himself out of a daze. “N – nothing’s wrong.”

I narrowed my eyes. “You look like someone just ran over your dog. What’s going on?”

He let out a loud sigh and ran a hand over his face. “Ketely, I have to tell you something.”

I bit down on my bottom lip, not liking the tone in his voice. “It’s something bad, isn’t it? You don’t ever call me by my first name.”

He went to speak, but before he could, John walked in between us and grabbed my hand.

“I need to talk to you,” he stated.

My gut twisted.

“O-okay. I’ll see you out front in a few, Gare?”

He nodded his head slowly. “Yeah.” He gave me a quick, tight hug before running off down the hallway.

“We can go to my car,” John said before pulling me behind him.

We walked straight to his car, not uttering a word to each other. He pressed me against the driver’s door and gave me a hard kiss that left me weak in the knees. When he pulled away, he looked me straight in my eyes and I felt my knees go weak for another reason.

“Ketely, I like you and you know that,” he started, grabbing my hands. I furrowed my brows, but he spoke again before I could. “But I – I just need some space right now.”

And there it was – the bad news.

“Wh – what are you saying?” I asked. Although I had known what he meant, I wanted to hear him say it; to finalize it.

“I’m saying,” he paused, letting out a breath, “I’m saying I’m breaking up with you, Morrison.” I could literally feel my heart crack before it sank to my feet. Tears pricked my eyes and I gasped for a breath of air. “Ketely, please don’t cry.” He went to wipe my tears but I swatted his hand away.

“Why?”

“Why what?”

I rolled my eyes and wiped my cheeks. “Why are you breaking up with me? D-did I do something wrong?” my voice wavered at the end and I hated that I was so weak.

He licked his lips and looked away from me. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Ketely. This has nothing to do with you, believe me.”

“Then why are you doing this!?” I gave him a good shove, causing a few other students to gawk at us. “Why are you breaking up with me!?”

His face turned red as he noticed we were being watched and he stepped in closer to me, grabbing my wrists. “Because I’m sixteen fucking years old and it’s summer. I don’t want to be tied down, Ketely, okay?!” his tone was soft but sharp and it only broke me that much more.

I yanked my wrists away and shook my head. “You are a fucking asshole,” I seethed before stalking away.

I walked as fast as I could to my car, not letting any tears fall until I was inside. I rested my forehead against the wheel and let the tears pour out.

Although I’d experienced pain from loss before, this was a different feeling – a different type of pain from a different type of loss.

A knock coming from the window scared me and I jumped, bumping my head on the roof of the car. I turned to see Garrett giving me a sad smile and gesturing to the lock on the door. I unlocked the doors and tried to wipe my eyes as he sat in the passenger seat.

“Come here,” was all he said before opening his arms. I rested my head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. He placed a kiss on the top of my head and sighed. “I’m sorry that my best friend is a tool.”

I sniffled. “He’s an asshole.”

“That, too.”

I let out an unwanted laugh. “Garrett?”

“Yeah, Jewel?”

“I’m in love with him,” I admitted; it was the first time I had said those words out loud.

I felt Garrett’s body stiffen as the words left my mouth. He pulled away from me and gave me a strange look, his brow arched.

“Love?”

I nodded my head and stared down at my hands. “W-when he came with me to visit my mom’s grave … that’s when I knew … really knew. But it doesn’t matter because he doesn’t love me back, Garrett.” I could feel fresh tears forming in my eyes. “He doesn’t love me back and it hurts.”

He didn’t say anything, but he grabbed my hand and held it tight and that was all that I really needed him to do.

It wasn’t until we were stopped at the front of his house that he spoke. He was half-way out of the car when he said it.

“You’ll find someone better, Jewel.” And with that, he got out and shut the door.

I could just laugh now, thinking about it.

There would never be anyone better.