Watching and Waiting

That night was long.

I couldn’t accept what I had to do. For months now I’ve been persuading myself to stay out of her life but now at this realisation there was nothing I could do, it was law.
Once I’ve found my ward I was to become a part of her life until she dies. I was to keep her from danger and protect her but all I want and have wanted to do is protect her from me and now I couldn’t do that.

The night droned on as I sat in contemplation, trying to find a way to keep her protected from me. A situation like this had never happened before; this was something totally new it had never happened to anyone else of my kind before.

As the sun rose I began to form a plan.

I had to speak to her tonight. I had to introduce myself but I didn’t want her to see me. I could hide but then there was the problem of attracting her attention without her actually seeing me. It would be dark so I could just wear a hood and obscure my face but then there was the possibility of her still being able to see me.

I sat and thought about this for a long time, so long that the sun began to set and I had to run as fast as I could to get to the park before she did. I still hadn’t worked out my plan. I didn’t know how I was supposed to meet her and explain our situation to her without her seeing what I look like.

I waited in my normal place for her to come past. The sun hadn’t even properly set as she came strolling into the park. Sun light wasn’t part of my plan. As she walked past the park gates she started looking around, her eyes darted anywhere there was movement. She didn’t look scared so I don’t think she was keeping an eye out for another assailant.

Her eyes scanned the park many times as she slowly walked through. Her eyes passed the spot I was in many times but she never saw anything. As she got halfway through the park she looked confused and then sat down on one of the park benches. She had never done this before, normally she just walked on through with only the feeling of protection. She had probably concluded that there was actually someone watching her, I wish she hadn’t.

This gave me the perfect opportunity though.

I crept from my spot slowly and quietly so she wouldn’t see. I moved along the edges of the bushes which were just out of her sight, as long as she didn’t turn around. I managed to make it to the clump of trees that grew just behind the bench she was sitting on.

I took a deep breath, and...

“Please don’t turn around” I was scared and I think she would have heard that, it wasn’t the best start but at least she didn’t turn around.
“You’re the guy who saved me last night?” she didn’t sound sceptical she knew I was the person who saved her without needing my affirmation.
“Yes that was me” I didn’t know how to start my explanation, to tell her I’ve been watching her for months walk through the park.
“You’ve been here watching me for a while haven’t you?” Many other people would have been freaked out by the thought of someone waiting and watching them for many months but she didn’t seemed phased in the slightest.
“Yes I have but I’m not some freak, I’m your protector, it’s my job to protect you” I didn’t know what her reaction to this statement would be.

When I first became a protector I remembered my first ward and my first explanation, he didn’t take me seriously in the beginning. It took a month for him to believe me, but he only really believed me when I saved his life. That is what is was like with my first few wards, I had to save their lives before they believed me.

“I know.” That’s all she said. I hadn’t expected her to say that. All I had done was stop someone from stealing her bag, I hadn’t saved her life. I didn’t know what to say after this.
“Can I turn around now?” She was calm and she started turning around
“No please don’t” I stepped back behind a branch of a tree so she wouldn’t be able to even catch a glance at me.
“Why not?” her tone was blunt and the words seemed to jump out of her mouth.
“The sight of me would scare you. I’m not supposed to be seen, by anyone, I’m just supposed to be a presence at your side.” My kind was not supposed to be seen we were just that voice in the back of everyone’s mind warning them of danger, instinct some people call it.
“I’m not supposed to see you? But you’re real? What about you would scare me?” She sounded confused but stubborn about the subject
“If you turned around you would be able to see me but I am the only one of my kind that is able to be seen. My face... it’s just not a sight you would ever want to see.”
“Why are you the only one?”

“I was cursed.”



“It all happened because of my last ward. She was the most beautiful girl anyone in her village had ever seen. I had to admit myself that she was quite a beauty but by this time I had protected six other wards and seen many beautiful men and women in their times.”

“She was very young when I became her protector and very naive, she tended to believe everything anyone said to her. This was hard in the beginning because she would listen to my warning but would never believe that another person could ever harm her. She learnt the hard way and it was hard for me to see her be hurt like she was.”
“At this time I couldn’t do anything to help her, I was only a presence. My words were my only weapon but she didn’t listen to me.”

The sky had gotten dark and it was cold, she shivered at this point. I didn’t know if it was from the cold or from my story.

“Nine months later she gave birth to a baby boy. A boy she hopped wouldn’t have to learn the same way she did. After her assault she never trusted anyone but me again. She was no longer naive. She was still beautiful but no longer wanted as she once was after she had been ‘disgraced’.”

“No one believed her account and the truth about what happened to her, they all thought she had given into this man. The man lived in the village he was still a respected gentleman in society. Just after her baby was born he was married to her cousin, not as beautiful as my ward but her family had more money.”

“My ward’s family still cared for her but she was no longer treated like a treasure, instead made to work around the house and in the garden at the same time as looking after her son. Times were hard for her but she always seemed happy enough.”

“She was still young and beautiful, before her twentieth birthday she still had suitors coming to her door but at the displeasure of her parents she turned them all down. I tried to talk sense into her but she didn’t listen to me, she just smiled at me and said she didn’t need them, she had all she ever wanted.”

“At this stage I had no idea what she meant. I had no idea about how she felt towards me. I never thought that anything like that could happen. She had fallen in love with me.”

This was always the hardest part of my tale, she seemed to know something bad was coming because she took a sharp breath in and held it for a long time.

“Before I had become a protector I was trained and advised of my job and what I should and shouldn’t do. Never did my mentor mention what I should do if my ward fell in love with me. I didn’t share the same feelings as her. I felt the same for her as I had felt for all my other wards.”

“I was their protector until death and that was it. She couldn’t even see me and yet she was sure about what she felt for me. I could never be her provider or help in her daily trials, all I could do was advise her of danger. I could never be a real helpful and useful part of her life.”

“It wasn’t until she was twenty three when she confessed her real feelings to me. When she did I didn’t know what to say, I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t want to break her heart because that would hurt her and that was against our laws.”

“We as protectors could not harm our ward. If they were hurt because of the advice we gave or if they didn’t listen to our advice that was different, we wouldn’t be punished for this. However, if we hurt our ward we would be punished. I never thought it was actually possible for a protector like myself to harm our ward since we were only a presence.”

“I was stuck. I didn’t want to lie to her but I didn’t want to tell her the truth. When she told me she sat and stared out in front of her like she was staring at me. She wanted me to tell her there and then what I felt.”

“I replied as delicately as possible but she was still hurt. She sat and wept. She wept for the rest of the week.”

I felt a tear run down my cheek thinking about it.

“That night as I sat outside her house a witch approached me. I had seen her around the village before. She came towards me and stopped standing staring down at me like she could see me, no one had ever seen me before. Then she spoke to me”

“You have broken your laws. You are now to be punished. From this day on you will no longer be just a presence, everyone will be able to see you. To everyone but yourself and your ward you will look normal, even handsome. However, whenever you see your own reflection or when your ward looks upon your face it will look so hideous you or he/she will never want to see it again.”

I was silent for a while.

I wanted the information to sink in, wanted her to trust that what I said was true. She nodded her head a little and then started turning around.

“What are you doing?” I stumbled back into the trees,
“If you are going to be my protector then I want to see you. You’ve warned me that what I might see will be hideous but I promised that I won’t scream or run away.”

She continued to turn around but I didn’t move.

I had to trust her, my job would be that much harder if she was never able to see me especially since I now had to spend so much time with her.

Her eyes widened as she looked at me and her mouth fell open...