Status: Uber Active!
Always Something More
Chapter 1
I spotted his green eyes immediately once I walked into the room. They were the greenest orbs you’ll ever see. They could stare at you with so much passion and so much care. I always had a crush on him. It was as simple as that. If he asked me to be his I would say yes in a flash even if I had to break my boyfriend’s heart. But in real life that would never happen because I’m 18 and he’s 21. But age wasn’t the only thing that was in my way my older sister Carmen had been dating John for 4 years now but we’ve all been best friends since we moved here when I was 7 and Carmen was 10.
We moved from Michigan to Arizona because my father found a new job as a neuron surgeon and I also think it was because he needed a new start. He and my mother divorced a few months before we moved. Me and my sister stayed with my father knowing that he would always be there for us. In our mother’s eyes we weren’t first priority, she was always picking her job over us and we didn’t see her as much as our father, even though he was always on call and at the hospital he still made time to be a father. Moving away from my hometown, my friends and even my mother was very hard. My mother was my mother and I missed her, I think a little bit more then my sister and dad.
When we moved to Arizona, the next door neighbors came over and brought chocolate chip cookies. They introduced themselves as the O’Callaghan’s it was a mother Rachel and her 3 sons John, Ross and Shane. I was only 7 but when I saw John I got butterflies in my stomach and I knew I wanted to become friends with him.
Carmen and John were in the same class and became better friends, where me and Ross were in the same grade but weren’t in the same class but he made sure I wasn’t alone at recess and invited me to play tag with him and the other students.
Since we moved in John became my best friend, me and him had this connection that I could never understand. There were times that I always felt like he had a crush on me but I knew it was only in my mind. We always hung out and we became inseparable. I told him everything and he told me everything. He also protected me from the dark, bugs and as we grew up boys. But the only boy I wanted was him, if only I could tell him that. He was dating my sister now but I saw his eyes on me and his smirk on his face that made my face instantly light up. I also couldn’t take my eyes off of him, his tall frame and his tousled hair, he was a beautiful person.
I’m not sure if he knew that I liked him but it’s not like I kept it a secret when I was younger. When I was 12 and John was 15, he and I were hanging out by my pool; just sitting on the edge with our feet dangling in the water. I had gotten in a fight with my dad and I knew that John would be there to cheer me up. He had always been there for me when I was ever upset and needed someone. After I complained to him about how much I hated my father, he reassured me that I didn’t hate my father and I loved him and he loved me. After our talk we just sat there in a comfortable silence it felt nice just sitting there with my best friend. I softly said his name and once he looked at me I leaned in and kissed him. It took him by surprised and he didn’t react and shortly after I pulled back and ran inside in embarrassment. I tried to avoid him but he didn’t have it, he came over the next day and he didn’t bring up what happen.
But that was the past; I had been gone for 2 years now. I broke too many people’s hearts and coming home was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do. There was no real reason for my visit besides seeing my family; my dad had been emailing me and trying to get me to come home for the summer. I told him no at first because it was my last summer before I went off to college, and I wanted to be with my friends and the guy I had been seeing. I wanted a relaxing summer, I wanted to have fun and be a high school graduate that partied every night, stayed out later and just be a teen for one last summer. After a while my father said that I had to home and it was an order. Even though my father and I were never on the best terms I listened and came home. He never understood why I missed my mother, and why I always wanted to call her or see her. In his eyes he saw a woman that always thought of work instead of her children. But I missed my mother, I wish she was there but I understood that what she was doing was for the family but he saw it differently.
I moved back to Michigan to finish my last two years of high school, I knew I was going to miss my high school and the people and being the new student wasn’t my thing, but I needed this change in my life, I needed to grow up. Moving back in with my mother was weird. I hadn’t seen her in about 8 years so it was awkward at first but then she was never home to notice the awkwardness. She was usually home on Sundays, so our mother/ daughter bonding always happened on Sundays. I told her a little bit of why I came home but I didn’t want to get into it, it was still new and just too hard for me to handle.
As I stepped into the airport, I noticing the rushing people, crying kids and the couples that ran to each other and holding on to each other for their lives but I mostly noticed the heat, that dry uncomfortable heat, this was going to be a miserable summer. Deciding to wear Victoria Secret Pink sweat pants wasn’t the best plan. I quickly threw up my hair into a messy bun and headed to the luggage claim. It took a while till my luggage came out but it wasn’t hard to miss them because they were so colorful. My father told me that he’d text me when he was here but I decided to wait outside to get some fresh air and get use to the dry heat.
My father’s ford focus drove up and I held in a breath. I was scared and nervous, and I did miss him but I wasn’t sure what his feelings would be. He got out of the car and you could tell that his smile was forced and so was his hug. It hurt knowing that id been gone for 2 years and he didn’t even care.
On the drive home there was an awkward silence, Coheed and Cambria was softly playing and the loud noise of the wind coming in. I didn’t want it to be like this all summer long, if I was going to waste my summer here, I wanted it to be drama free, well for the most part.
“Dad I just wanted to say that…” he cut me off to say “No don’t say anything it’s not your fault, I’ve just missed you so much that it’s hard to see you all grown up and I feel like I was left out.”
“Dad I didn’t mean to leave you and hurt you. These past 2 years have been hard, I missed you but if I stayed home I wouldn’t of known what to do, I had to leave.”
“Honey, I just didn’t want you to leave and be with you mother” he sounded very hurt “I never understood why you wanted her all the time. I was there and so was Carmen wasn’t that enough” he kept his eyes on the road in front of him.
“It was enough and I love that you guys care about me but dad I need my mother in my life, I understand why she always works but…”
“No Rae you don’t understand. You don’t realize what’s going on.” He started to get really angry and I looked at him with a confused look
“if I don’t understand then why don’t you enlighten me?”
“It’s hard to explain” and that was that, we kept on driving in an awkward silence. I didn’t understand what he was talking about, my mom worked to support the family why was that wrong?
We finally drove into our drive way and it didn’t feel right to be here. I felt unwanted; I was pretty sure no one wanted me here. There was another car in the drive way but I didn’t think anything of it I just thought it’d be one of Carmen’s friends or something. I felt like asking my father but it seemed like he was in a deep thought and I didn’t want to disrupt him.
I went to the back of the car to get my luggage but my dad had already beaten me to it. To be honest I was scared to go inside. Going inside meant I had to deal with everything that I just left behind. I was scared to see Carmen, I was hoping she’d forget everything, run up to me and hug me and never let go but I was scared that that wouldn’t happen.
As I stepped into the house I saw the same photos in the same spots, the same cluster of shoes were to my left right by the door and the same ugly carpet was right in front of me. I looked to my left and the living room was a tad bit different but still had the same furniture and I looked down the hall way and heard voices coming from the kitchen so I started walking down there. Every step I took I took a deep breath and exhaled it. I told myself that everything would be ok, and if she came at me and attacked me my father and her friends were there to break us apart.
And there were those eyes, those green specks that I honestly missed every day. I stare in amazement as to how much he had changed. We kept staring at each other not noticing the others around the room. I snapped out of my thoughts as Carmen jumped off the counter and started walking towards me. I started smiling at her thinking she was coming over to greet me a hello but all I got was a nudge in the shoulder and she ran off to her room. This was going to be a long summer.
We moved from Michigan to Arizona because my father found a new job as a neuron surgeon and I also think it was because he needed a new start. He and my mother divorced a few months before we moved. Me and my sister stayed with my father knowing that he would always be there for us. In our mother’s eyes we weren’t first priority, she was always picking her job over us and we didn’t see her as much as our father, even though he was always on call and at the hospital he still made time to be a father. Moving away from my hometown, my friends and even my mother was very hard. My mother was my mother and I missed her, I think a little bit more then my sister and dad.
When we moved to Arizona, the next door neighbors came over and brought chocolate chip cookies. They introduced themselves as the O’Callaghan’s it was a mother Rachel and her 3 sons John, Ross and Shane. I was only 7 but when I saw John I got butterflies in my stomach and I knew I wanted to become friends with him.
Carmen and John were in the same class and became better friends, where me and Ross were in the same grade but weren’t in the same class but he made sure I wasn’t alone at recess and invited me to play tag with him and the other students.
Since we moved in John became my best friend, me and him had this connection that I could never understand. There were times that I always felt like he had a crush on me but I knew it was only in my mind. We always hung out and we became inseparable. I told him everything and he told me everything. He also protected me from the dark, bugs and as we grew up boys. But the only boy I wanted was him, if only I could tell him that. He was dating my sister now but I saw his eyes on me and his smirk on his face that made my face instantly light up. I also couldn’t take my eyes off of him, his tall frame and his tousled hair, he was a beautiful person.
I’m not sure if he knew that I liked him but it’s not like I kept it a secret when I was younger. When I was 12 and John was 15, he and I were hanging out by my pool; just sitting on the edge with our feet dangling in the water. I had gotten in a fight with my dad and I knew that John would be there to cheer me up. He had always been there for me when I was ever upset and needed someone. After I complained to him about how much I hated my father, he reassured me that I didn’t hate my father and I loved him and he loved me. After our talk we just sat there in a comfortable silence it felt nice just sitting there with my best friend. I softly said his name and once he looked at me I leaned in and kissed him. It took him by surprised and he didn’t react and shortly after I pulled back and ran inside in embarrassment. I tried to avoid him but he didn’t have it, he came over the next day and he didn’t bring up what happen.
But that was the past; I had been gone for 2 years now. I broke too many people’s hearts and coming home was probably the hardest thing I’ve had to do. There was no real reason for my visit besides seeing my family; my dad had been emailing me and trying to get me to come home for the summer. I told him no at first because it was my last summer before I went off to college, and I wanted to be with my friends and the guy I had been seeing. I wanted a relaxing summer, I wanted to have fun and be a high school graduate that partied every night, stayed out later and just be a teen for one last summer. After a while my father said that I had to home and it was an order. Even though my father and I were never on the best terms I listened and came home. He never understood why I missed my mother, and why I always wanted to call her or see her. In his eyes he saw a woman that always thought of work instead of her children. But I missed my mother, I wish she was there but I understood that what she was doing was for the family but he saw it differently.
I moved back to Michigan to finish my last two years of high school, I knew I was going to miss my high school and the people and being the new student wasn’t my thing, but I needed this change in my life, I needed to grow up. Moving back in with my mother was weird. I hadn’t seen her in about 8 years so it was awkward at first but then she was never home to notice the awkwardness. She was usually home on Sundays, so our mother/ daughter bonding always happened on Sundays. I told her a little bit of why I came home but I didn’t want to get into it, it was still new and just too hard for me to handle.
As I stepped into the airport, I noticing the rushing people, crying kids and the couples that ran to each other and holding on to each other for their lives but I mostly noticed the heat, that dry uncomfortable heat, this was going to be a miserable summer. Deciding to wear Victoria Secret Pink sweat pants wasn’t the best plan. I quickly threw up my hair into a messy bun and headed to the luggage claim. It took a while till my luggage came out but it wasn’t hard to miss them because they were so colorful. My father told me that he’d text me when he was here but I decided to wait outside to get some fresh air and get use to the dry heat.
My father’s ford focus drove up and I held in a breath. I was scared and nervous, and I did miss him but I wasn’t sure what his feelings would be. He got out of the car and you could tell that his smile was forced and so was his hug. It hurt knowing that id been gone for 2 years and he didn’t even care.
On the drive home there was an awkward silence, Coheed and Cambria was softly playing and the loud noise of the wind coming in. I didn’t want it to be like this all summer long, if I was going to waste my summer here, I wanted it to be drama free, well for the most part.
“Dad I just wanted to say that…” he cut me off to say “No don’t say anything it’s not your fault, I’ve just missed you so much that it’s hard to see you all grown up and I feel like I was left out.”
“Dad I didn’t mean to leave you and hurt you. These past 2 years have been hard, I missed you but if I stayed home I wouldn’t of known what to do, I had to leave.”
“Honey, I just didn’t want you to leave and be with you mother” he sounded very hurt “I never understood why you wanted her all the time. I was there and so was Carmen wasn’t that enough” he kept his eyes on the road in front of him.
“It was enough and I love that you guys care about me but dad I need my mother in my life, I understand why she always works but…”
“No Rae you don’t understand. You don’t realize what’s going on.” He started to get really angry and I looked at him with a confused look
“if I don’t understand then why don’t you enlighten me?”
“It’s hard to explain” and that was that, we kept on driving in an awkward silence. I didn’t understand what he was talking about, my mom worked to support the family why was that wrong?
We finally drove into our drive way and it didn’t feel right to be here. I felt unwanted; I was pretty sure no one wanted me here. There was another car in the drive way but I didn’t think anything of it I just thought it’d be one of Carmen’s friends or something. I felt like asking my father but it seemed like he was in a deep thought and I didn’t want to disrupt him.
I went to the back of the car to get my luggage but my dad had already beaten me to it. To be honest I was scared to go inside. Going inside meant I had to deal with everything that I just left behind. I was scared to see Carmen, I was hoping she’d forget everything, run up to me and hug me and never let go but I was scared that that wouldn’t happen.
As I stepped into the house I saw the same photos in the same spots, the same cluster of shoes were to my left right by the door and the same ugly carpet was right in front of me. I looked to my left and the living room was a tad bit different but still had the same furniture and I looked down the hall way and heard voices coming from the kitchen so I started walking down there. Every step I took I took a deep breath and exhaled it. I told myself that everything would be ok, and if she came at me and attacked me my father and her friends were there to break us apart.
And there were those eyes, those green specks that I honestly missed every day. I stare in amazement as to how much he had changed. We kept staring at each other not noticing the others around the room. I snapped out of my thoughts as Carmen jumped off the counter and started walking towards me. I started smiling at her thinking she was coming over to greet me a hello but all I got was a nudge in the shoulder and she ran off to her room. This was going to be a long summer.