Always Something More

I was in my room tiding it up. Over the past week my room had gotten so dirty, from all the clothes on the ground, the un-made bed and my bathroom had make up everywhere. For someone who was super organized and hardly went out, it was a pig sty.

“Rae Michaels has an unorganized room?” I was standing with my back facing the door as I put some stuff on my top shelf of my closest. I gave a laugh and saw John standing in my door frame. “Now someone should take a photo of this.” He walked more into the room, “oh shut up, I ugh I’ve been busy.” He gave me a look like he didn’t believe me. “Right. Doing what exactly? Lying out in the sun? Talking to your friend Andy?” I smiled that he remember Andy’s name. “Or maybe I’ve been partying and I’ve been too hung over to clean this mess.”

I looked away back to my closet trying to hide my smile. “Rae, I thought we’ve talked about this before? You know everyone I know, and no one has been home to throw a party or I would be hung over right now also. And I’m not.” I always lost at this game. I don’t even know why I tried. “I hate you. One day I’m going to go to a party that you won’t at.” I said confidently.

He tilted his head a tad to the left and looked at me, ”yeah, I highly doubt that, everyone wants to invited me to their parties,” he gave me a cocky smile “because I am Mr. Party King.” I turned around and walked closer to my dresser.
“You haven’t changed one bit.”

“But you have” he said that so quickly after what I said. I stopped what I was doing “Really? How?” for some reason I was scared to hear his answer. The tone of his voice told me the change was for the worst.

“You seem older and mature. Your more beautiful and you just don’t seem like the same Rae Michaels.” I blushed when he said I was more beautiful but I started to form a sad smile.

“I guess being gone for a while and holding on everything changed me. I guess that night I changed for good.” I turned back around so he wouldn’t see the hurt in my eyes. “Rae if you changed into that person from that night, then I don’t know who you are anymore.” I quickly responded “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m defiantly not that girl.” I said it sternly. I wasn’t a slut. I wasn’t that determined girl from that night. And everyone needed to know that.

John stepped closer to me and grabbed my shoulder and twisted me around. “Who was that, that night? Where did she come from?” I didn’t want to explain this, especially not to John so I shrugged my shoulders and shook my head.

“Why did you come up here? In to my room John?” I looked into his green eyes. “Oh I” he brought his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed it, “I just had to” he looked around the room clearly trying to think of something to say “go to Carmen’s room to get her something.” I nodded my head slowly “Right. The last time I remember, her room was in the other direction” “oh right well I guess I wanted to say hi first.” I just laughed at how nervous he was.

We both got quiet and there wasn’t anything else to say. “So you like The Maine?” he asked curiously. I got confused at his question, “the who?”

“The Maine”
“oh wait that’s the one Jared plays for right?” he gave me a smile and nodded his head

“Yeah that one. You like them?” I guess this band was a big deal around here, everyone knew them. “Oh well I don’t really know them. I only know 2 songs by them. And that’s only because Andy had covered them and sent them to me.” He nodded his head.
“Oh that’s cool. Does he like them?” it was starting to get annoying that everyone cared about this band. Were they really that great? “I’m not sure, I guess he does. I think I’ve heard him talking about seeing them in concert. Do you like them?”

I sat down on my computer chair and John sat on my bed. “Um yeah, their pretty cool I guess. Carmen’s a huge fan. I think she’s obsessed over the lead singer” he laughed to himself, I think a little too much. It must have been an inside joke between them or something. “What a loser. I bet this band is actually really bad and she only likes this guy for his looks. But then again I doubt this guy is really that great looking, no offence but she has some weird taste in guys.” Johns face fell and he looked to the ground. Did I go too far with that joke or something?

“Have you seen them play live before?” His face came back to life with that amazing smile. “Oh yeah a bunch of times, I’m usually force to go, but their performance is pretty good.” I saw my phone lit up which was right behind him. I wanted to check what it was but I didn’t want to be rude.

“But not as good as Say Anything though.” I looked right back at him quickly and he was already looking at me. “I saw them last November. They always put on a good show” he looked down and it seemed like that hurt him. “Oh really? They came here last October but I could let myself go. It only made me miss you more.” I felt bad, didn’t think of it like that. To me it was just seeing my favorite band. It was going out on a Thursday night to go to a concert.

“Who did you go with?” It looked like he already knew the answer but wanted to hear me say it. “My friends, and Andy.” He was making this out to be something bigger than it really was. He stood up from my bed. “So that night that we saw Say Anything was nothing to you?” and then I stood up and walked closer to him. “Well of course it was something John, but you were still with my sister the next day, and still are. So did it mean anything to you? Or were you just playing with me?” we both had angry in our voices.

He walked over to my door and shut it, as he walked back he looked at the floor but as he got closer his eyes drifted to mine. He grabbed my shoulders softly and rubbed his thumbs into my skin. “Of course it did Rae,” he said softly “I think about that night all the time. Our kiss had more spark than when Carmen and I ever kiss.” This is ridiculous. I sure didn’t want to hear that and he shouldn’t be talking about this. “John that was 4 years ago. It doesn’t mean anything anymore.” I shrugged him off and we just looked at each other
“John! Were leaving.” Carmen yelled up “ Now!” “ Yeah I’ll be right there.” We both didn’t move. We just stared at each other. “ You better go, your girlfriend is calling you.” I turned away and tried to make myself look busy by moving some papers around on my desk. I heard him move and open the door. I looked back at him and saw him do the same and leave.

“Why were you in her room? With the door shut?” Carmen snapped at him. “What were you guys talking about?”
“Nothing.”