Killing Me Slowly

But, then two bright lights came from their bodies and came into us. It was a really weird feeling…like I was being enlightened…and I was having all of these memories fill my head all at once so it was like a really fast movie was playing in my head.

Then, I looked at Sam. “Brit” he breathed out. “You good?” I asked him.

“Are you?”

“I don’t know” I sighed as I stuck my gun in the back of my jeans and we headed up the hill to get back to the car. Robin and Shane were leaning on the Impala, waiting for us.

"We remember who we are…what we did this passed year” Sam started. “We remember you two” I added.

Flashback

“Walk away or they both die” the monster said as he had knives to Shane and Robin’s necks.

I saw how terrified they were and how badly they wanted us to save them…but we didn’t have souls…and we shot them both, so they fell to the floor.

“There goes your leverage” Sam said and I shot the monster multiple times.

End flashback

They both started to bleed in front of us from their stomachs. “Didn’t we tell you to turn back. That you wouldn’t like what you found” Shane said.

“I am so sorry” I told them, sincerely.

“We both are” Sam said.

“Not as sorry as you’re going to be” Robin said.

Then, they both disappeared into smoke. Sam and I looked at each other and then got in the Impala and headed off.

My POV

Watching Sam and Brit going through their small spastic episodes a few minutes ago and not being able to do anything for them was so hard. I felt so helpless and I just didn’t know what to do and I hated that feeling. I knew Dean was trying to search for the right words to say to comfort me and keep me together but he was doing his best just to hold himself together.

“Look what the cat dragged in” Bobby voiced and we both looked over at him to see he was standing at the panic room door with Balthazar.

“Well at least you mud finches got the angel proofing right. How’s Sleeping Beauty and Snow White? You didn’t steal any kisses I trust?” he quipped.

“What the hell took you so long?” Dean demanded as we walked over to him so we could confront him since he wasn’t able to come in. I crossed my arms.

“Honestly, I was having second thoughts” he said and I felt my heart accelerate and I was about to panic. He couldn’t have second thoughts. We were running out of options.

“About?”

“About whether to help you. I was thinking maybe I should rip out your sticky bits instead”

“And what did you decide?” I questioned.

He eyed me for a moment and then pulled out a piece of paper with an address on it and he handed it to Dean. “Well, Cas and Crowley are there, that’s where the show gets started”

“Well give us a minuet to pack up and then zap us there” Dean said.

“No, no, no I don’t think so”

“Balthazar, please” I pleaded and I couldn’t tell if my voice broke or not but I’m pretty sure everyone could see it in my face that I was about to break all together.

I think he was about to give in just by looking at me…but he didn’t…his tone was gentle toward me though. “I’m betraying a friend here. A powerful friend. We all are. So I think I’ve stuck my neck out far enough already. Good luck” he said and then vanished.

I hung my head slightly and then just walked back into the panic room and I started to pack some things into a duffle bag. I noticed Dean gave Bobby some kind of signal to leave us alone for a minute and he nodded and walked out as Dean came walking in to me. I stubbed my toe on the desk.

“Ow, shit” I muttered, trying to hold in my tears.

“Shhh” he said and pulled me into his arms.

I just shook my head and let him hug me. The pain eating at me, inside my chest, was so unbearable…I don’t know if I can take much more of this kind of pain. I took a step back to wipe my face. I put one hand on my hip and ran another hand down my face, but kept it on my chin as I just stared at our little brother and sister laying in the beds, being unresponsive. I don’t know how it got this bad…how we lost Cas along the way…was it our fault? Did he need us and we just didn’t see it? I don’t know.

“Time’s up kids” Bobby said, gently and I saw he had his own duffle bag ready. “Just a second” Dean respond and he nodded, walking back out.

We both walked over to Sam and Brit. He sat in a chair at Sam’s head and I knelt beside Brit. “Alright, guys…this is where we’re gonna be” I said, putting the address down beside Brit with a gun on top of it.

“Get your lazy asses out of bed and come meet us…please” Dean begged. Then, we both stood up and headed out.

~~~~~~~

Cas’ POV

I was sitting on one of the tables in Crowley’s lair, I suppose you can call it, as I waited for him. This new decision I was making would be the right one. It would be for the good of all…that’s what’s been my interest. To do what is good and what is right for all of mankind. Fighting against Raphael to prevent another apocalypse…and now betraying Crowley this way…its what needs to be done....

“Your purgatory power shake masseur. Half monster, half virgin” he said as he made himself visible to me and handed me a jar of blood.

I stared down at it for a moment as there was a small moment of silence and his back was to me. “Thank you”

He turned to look at me. “You seem even more constipated than usual. Should I get you some colon blow?"

I looked up at him. “I’m thinking about renegotiating our terms”

He seemed a little taken back by my statement. “That so? What terms do you propose?”

“You get nothing. Not a single soul”

From his expression, I think he thought I was joking. “I cant help but notice this seems a bit unfairly weighted…” I didn’t respond. “Castiel, you wouldn’t dare. I brought you this deal!”

He paced away from me. I got off the table. “You think I’m handing all that power to the King of Hell? I’m neither stupid or wicked”

“Unbelievable. Have you forgotten you’re the bottom in this relationship?” he faced me again.

“Here are your options. You either flee or you die” I told him.

He hesitated, analyzing me. “We made a pact. Even I don’t break contacts like this”

“Flee…or die”

He was in shock. “Boy…just cant trust anyone these days”

And then he was gone…and I had one more thing I had to do.

Brittney’s POV

We got to Bobby’s place and headed in cautiously with our guns drawn. Everything was covered with white sheets and the lights were off so the only light we were given was the moonlight outside and the candle light inside. We headed toward the kitchen and saw two figures sitting at a table in the center of the kitchen, facing us, with their heads hanging. They each had a knife laying beside them.

“Hey…hey!” Sam barked.

“Oh…hi, Sam…Brittney” one spoke as they lifted their heads…it was a piece of Sam.

We were staring at ourselves again…but they were different this time. They had streaks of dry blood on their faces and their eyes…it showed me that they seemed…dead…or they wanted to be dead. I focused in on myself and as she stared back at me it was like she was giving me this sad, sorrowful, broken look….

“So which one are you two?” I asked as they both stood up.

“We’re the ones that remember Hell” they both said.

“We wish you didn’t come, guys” Sam’s hell self said.

“We had to. In the real world, we’re at Bobby’s aren’t we” Sam assumed.

“How did you know?”

“The whole time it’s smelt like nothing but old spice and whiskey. We figured if we get back here…back to our bodies…we could snap out of it somehow” I said.

“First, you have to get through us” my hell self said.

“Why?”

“Humpty Dumpty has to put himself back together again before he can wake up…”

“And we’re the last pieces” Sam’s hell self finished. “Which means…we have to know what you both know…” I said. “What happened in cage” Sam realized.

“Trust us you don’t wanna know it” my hell self said.

“You’re right. But we still have to”

“Sam, Brittney…you cant imagine…stay here with each other, go find those bar tenders, find your families. We know you. You’re not strong enough” Sam’s hell self said.

“We’ll just have to see”

“Why is this so important to you?” my hell self asked.

“You both know us. You know why. We’re not leaving our brother and sister alone out there” I said.

They nodded and then started to walk toward us with the knives. We got into defensive mode with our guns. “We’re not gonna fight you”

“But, this is your last chance…good luck. You’re gonna need it” Sam’s hell self finished.

They both spun the knives so we could take them safely and we did…and then we stabbed them both and they fell to the floor and a bright light came out of them just like it came out of our soulless selves and it filled us. This time was different though. It hurt a lot more. I felt like I was on fire…maybe I was….

Cas’ POV

Now that Crowley was angry, I had to prepare in case he did find a way to get back at me and get the blood away from me. So I got a jar of dog blood and hid the real blood away in a safe place while I was waiting for Balthazar…and this was harder to do but it had to be done and he didn’t keep me waiting long.

“You rang, Cas?”

"Yea, we have a problem…Dean Winchester and Melissa Stern are on their way here” I said, casually.

“How did they find out where we were?” he asked, but I heard him stammer a little, like he didn’t already know they knew.

“Apparently we have a Judist in our mist” I sighed.

“Ah holy hell. Who is it?” You.

“I bet it’s that bloody little cherub, isn’t it”

I hesitated as I looked up at him. Balthazar has been my friend for the longest of time…but he betrayed my trust. “I don’t know, but I need you to find out” I stuck with as I turned my back and gripped the blade in my hand even tighter.

“Yes, of course, I’ll find a way. What do you need me to do about Dean and Melissa?”

“Nothing. I’ll handle it myself…”

“Castiel, are you alright?”

“First Sam, Brittney, Melissa and Dean, now this. I’m doing my best in impossible circumstances. My friends…they abandon me…plot against me…it’s difficult to understand” I vented a little.

“Well you’ve always got little old me”

Then, I flashed behind him and stabbed the blade into him. “Yes. I’ll always have you”

“Cas…” he breathed out.

But, that’s was it. A bright, white light filled the entire warehouse and Balthazar, my dear…and my last…friend was dead…and then I was alone.

My POV

Dean, Bobby and I pulled up a good distance away from a big warehouse and we got out to scope it out. “You feeling it out, Mel?” Dean asked. “A dozen, maybe more” I guessed.

“Demons?”

I shook my head. “Angels…and Cas is definitely in there. I can feel him”

“How the hell are we gonna take out that many angels?”

“We don’t. We ninja our way in” Bobby said.

I started feel the ground shake…and I heard a weird pounding sound. “Awesome…until they hear your knee squeak” Dean quipped.

“Shut up” Bobby told him.

“Oh, what, now you got den skin?”

“No, he’s right, Dean, shut up” I said.

We were all quiet and listened to the sound. “What the hell is that?” Dean wondered. We all turned and saw a puddle’s vibrations. “T-rex maybe?”

But, then my eyes went up and my eyes widened as I grabbed a hold of Dean’s arm. “Oh my god…” I gasped.

They looked up as well and we all stared up in horror at the cloud of black smoke heading our way. “Holy mother of…” Bobby started. “Get in the car, get in the car” Dean said, quickly as he put his hand on the small of my back to usher me to the Impala.

We all got in quickly, I was in the back with Dean in the driver’s seat and Bobby in the passenger seat and as soon as we shut the doors, the car was engulfed in black smoke and airborne as we flipped twice and then stopped rolling and I felt everything was frozen in time. I was going in and out of consciousness as darkness was taking over my body, but I fought myself to stay awake.

“Mel…Mel! You good?” Dean yelled as he tried to turn his body to look at me.

I noticed the car was still upside down. “Uhh yea I think so” I tried to shake the grogginess away. “My foot is just stuck under your seat” I said and tried to get free.

“Okay, okay, I got you” he said as he came climbing to the back.

I put my hands down on the roof as he went down and went to free my foot. “Bobby…Bobby! Come on, we gotta go” he said and I saw Bobby started to come to in the front seat.

Dean got me out and wrapped his arm around me as we crawled out the back and we all started to head toward the warehouse. I had a small limp but I still managed to keep up. We were a level above Crowley and some chick who was giving off a strong angel energy…I assumed it was Raphael. Crowley was chanting some incantation in front of a big bloody sigil on the wall and we all exchanged a look, Dean shrugged and then just threw the angel blade…but Raphael caught it with ease.

They both turned to look at us and with a single motion of Crowley’s hand, Bobby went flying down the steps and with another motion of his hand, Dean went flying into me and as he wrapped his arms around me, we both went flying over the railing, down onto the table below us, breaking it in two and then he made us fall off it and onto the floor. We both grunted.

“Been busy gentlemen…and lady? Be with you in a moment” Crowley said and then continued the incantation. Dean and I got to our feet slowly as he started to finish up. Bobby got to our side as we anticipated what was to happen next…but nothing did.

“Maybe I said it wrong” Crowley said.

“You said it perfectly” Cas said as he appeared a few feet away from us with a jar in his hands that was tinted with red. “All you needed was this” he gestured to the jar and set it on a non broken table.

Something felt off about him though…he didn’t feel like Cas…I wasn’t even sure if I could feel him at all…and I was scared. On impulse, I grabbed the back of Dean’s jacket. He looked down at me for a moment and then looked back up at all of them.

“I see…and we’ve been working with…” Crowley tasted the blood that was on the wall. “Dog blood. Naturally”

“Enough of these games, Castiel. Give us the blood” Raphael ordered. “The games are over. His jar’s empty. So, Castiel how’d the ritual go? Better than ours, I bet”

Cas held out his arms and his whole body started to glow…it was such a bright glow that we had to look away…I shielded my eyes by digging my face into Dean’s shoulder a little.

“You cant imagine what it’s like. They’re all inside me. Millions upon millions of souls” Cas spoke…and even his voice was different.

“Sounds sexy. Exit stage Crowley” Crowley said and he was gone in the blink of an eye.

“What’s the matter, Raphael? Someone clip your wings?” Cas asked…and I think it was meant it as a small quip.

“Castiel, please…you let him go, but not your own brother?” Raphael asked and I saw how scared he was too.

“The demon I have plans for…you on the other hand?” He snapped his fingers and his…her…body exploded so the blood splattered everywhere. I wasn’t just scared…I was scared shitless.

I felt Dean was now keeping me behind him in a protective manner…I don’t even think he realized he was doing it, maybe it was just on instinct…at the moment, my instinct was to save Cas from whatever he did to himself…but it was also to get the hell away from him.

“So you see…I saved you” he spoke smoothly as he walked a few feet away.

“You sure did, Cas…thank you” I said, trying to get Dean to stop sheltering me.

“You doubted me. Fought against me. But I was right all along”

“Yes, Cas, you were. We’re sorry. Now lets just defuse you, okay?” Dean suggested.

“What do you mean?” he tilted his head to the side.

“You’re full of nuke. It’s not safe. So before the eclipse ends, lets get those souls back to where they belong”

“They belong with me”

“No, Cas, it’s scrambling your brain”

“I’m not finished yet. Raphael had many followers and I must…punish them all severely”

I stepped forward a few steps, cautiously even though I could feel Dean really didn’t want me to do that.

“Listen to me, Cas…I know there’s a lot of bad water under the bridge but we were family once, Dean and I would’ve died for you…we almost did few times…so if that means anything to you, please…we’ve lost Jesse, Abbey and Chris…and now we lost Sam and Brittney…” I said with tears threatening my eyes.

“Don’t make us lose you too, Cas. You don’t need this kind of juice anymore. Get rid of it before it kills us all” Dean pleaded.

For a moment…I actually thought he was going to come back to our side…but I was wrong.

“You’re just saying that because I’ve won. You’re afraid” No kidding. “You’re not my family, Melissa. I have no family”

But, then Sam and Brit came rushing in, out of nowhere and as Brit held him, Sam stabbed the angel blade into his back…but nothing happened. As they both stumbled back, Cas simply pulled the blade out of his back and set it down on the table.

“Sam, Brittney…I’m glad you made it. But the angel blade wont work. Because I’m not an angel anymore” he said and we all stared at him wide eyed. “I’m your new god. A better one. So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your lord…or I shall destroy you”

What the hell have we gotten ourselves into this time?