Fat

I cried again at school yesterday. I seem to be crying a lot lately. Not that it really matters much anyway. Nobody cares. Not really.

I know Jake is getting sick of me being miserable. He snapped at me at lunch, but I don’t know if that was totally my fault or not. He seems to be pretty distracted lately. I’m not sure why but I suspect it has something to do with Alexis. I haven’t seen them together much since her party, and when I do, they always seem to be arguing.

I really hate what her party has done to my friend and me. It ruined everything.

I’ve avoided pretty much everyone that was at the party apart from Jake. I haven’t seen Lucas at all and Dustin was apparently suspended for punching a kid in the face for buying the last packet of chicken chips before he could. Good. I’m glad he is getting punished for hitting some other innocent person. I just wish he would stay away forever.

But anyway, I cried because of Jake yelling at me. He has never raised his voice to me before, but he did yesterday. He told me, when I said that I didn’t want to go to see a movie this afternoon, to “stop being so f*cking miserable, you’re not the only one that has problems, you know!”

I had just stared at him for a few seconds, before I said “I’m sorry” in a whisper, and walked away from him.

He found me about 10 minutes later in the bathroom, sitting on the floor of a cubicle, with my lunch having been flushed down the toilet, and sobbing.
He sat down next to me on the filthy floor.

“Caleb, I’m sorry. I know this is really hard on you and I shouldn’t have shouted at you.”

I wiped my eyes, and looked at him.

He looked like he meant the apology, so I tried to smile, and said “It’s okay. You’re right anyway.”
He smiled. “Friends?”
“Friends,” I said, then sighed. “When is the movie tomorrow?”
“You want to come?”
“Yeah.”
“Fantastic. It’s at 4pm. Mum can pick you up at 3:30, okay?”
“Great.” I didn’t really mean it bit I thought I should make an effort.

Jake’s mum will be here in about 10 minutes. I don’t know what the movie is, and I probably won’t enjoy it but I’m going to make Jake happy. He’s right. It’s not all about me, and other people are apparently miserable, too. I’ll just keep it to myself from now on.