Behind Blue Eyes

The alarm rang through my room, causing me to groan in disapproval of getting up. But I had to get up and take Ember to the doctors. She had a cold for the past week and even with the cold medicine I've been giving her, she hasn't been getting any better. So I was starting to get worried.

My daily wake up went as usually. Got up, brushed my teeth, used the bathroom, woke up Ember and gave her cold medicine. "Are they going to put needle in my arm, mommy?" Ember asked, her crystal blue eyes boring into mine. She inherited those from her father, along with her adorable button nose, and thin lips.

"I don't know, sweetie." I told her, knowing they most likely would. I let out a deep sigh before picking her up out of her bed and placing her on my hip. I walked passed the basement door, feeling a cold air pass through the hallway. Chills ran up and down my spine. I haven't stepped foot in the basement for the past three years. That was the last place I saw Jimmy before he passed, but that cold air always seemed to swoop around you when you walked passed it. It reminded me that Jimmy was always looking out for me and Ember, no matter what.

"What should we name the baby?" I asked, rubbing my barely forming belly. Jimmy didn't say anything, but lay his head upon my stomach. He stayed that way for a few minutes before springing up.

"Elijah." He said smiling. I smiled at him, agreeing that it was a good name.

"But what if it's a girl?" I asked and he raised an eyebrow.

"Ember." He said without giving it thought.

"Ember? That's an odd name." I said, trying not make him feel bad.

"What were you thinking?"

"I like Savannah." I said and he gave me a disgusted look. "What? I like it." I said, smiling at him.

I named her Ember because that was the name that Jimmy liked so much and after thinking about it, I adored it also. It was a tough decision on what her middle name would be. But I thought there was nothing wrong with naming her Ember James. Plenty of girls had the name James.

I shook my head as I set Ember down on the floor of the bathroom so she could use it. "Use the restroom and I'll come back to do your hair. Wash your hands, with soap this time, Em." I told her and she giggled and shut the door. There was no doubting that she was Jimmy's daughter. Yes, she was infatuated with Disney Princesses, but she had to play with cars and action figures. She couldn't be a normal little girl, which I never expected with Jimmy being her father. I smiled as I thought of how excited he was when I told him I was pregnant. I was already taking care of Jimmy so I had no doubt that I'd be able to take care of Ember. I just didn't think I wouldn't have Jimmy with me to help out.

My thoughts were cut short as my phone started ringing. I walked back into the room that used to belong to Jimmy and I. I pulled my phone off the charger and read the caller I.D. with a smile. "Hey," I said plainly.

"Alice! How are you?" I heard Brian on the other line.

"I'm just peachy. I have to take Ember to a doctors appointment."

"Is she alright?" He asked worried. Brian was probably the closest Ember was to having a father. He seemed to be there for everything. Her birth, the first time she said 'mama', when she started crawling. He was there for it all. Which caused a special bond between Ember and him. She did let 'daddy' slip from her mouth a few times when he was over. But she seemed to cover it up quickly. Almost as if she felt bad for saying it.

"I don't know. Just a bad cold that doesn't seem to be getting any better." I sighed. Sadly, Ember was used to these doctor and hospital visits because she had a bone infection in her hip a year ago and thankfully it hasn't come back. But she was kept in the hospital for two weeks. It was a traumatic part in her life because she still remembers it, even at her young age.

"Do you mind if I come?" He asked. I could picture the puppy dog eyes on his face.

"What about Michelle?"

"She's shopping with Val, Lacey and Gena somewhere." He said, slightly confused. He never understood girl shopping. Though he was the girlie one out of the band. He worked on his hair longer then I do.

"Then it's fine with me. I don't want you to get sick though."

"I won't get sick. I'm Synyster Gates," He said manly. I chuckled and shook my head.

"Okay, well I need to get Em dressed. Meet me at my place in an hour."

Brian and I said our goodbyes and I got Ember dressed in a pair of jeans and her favorite blue shirt that made her eyes pop. She insisted that she wore her black converse instead of the pair of dress shoes that I picked out for her.



Brain, Ember, and I walked into the doctors office and Ember immediately buried her head into my neck. I sighed and Brian put his arms out to Ember and she reached over and he took her in his arms.

"Who's the patient?" The nurse asked me. I almost wanted to slap her because she had seen us come in so often, you would think she would know us by now.

"Ember Sullivan," I said coldly. She continued to look at me before she handed me the sign in sheet. I signed her in and sat down beside Brian.

"Uncle Bri, can you play me twinkle on guitar again?" Ember asked Brian.

Brian chuckled a bit before nodding his head, "Of course, Emmy." I smiled at Brian and Ember. I always wondered what kind of connection Ember and Jimmy would have had but when I look at Brian and her, it makes me think it would have been a lot like how they were.

"Ember Sullivan," The nice nurse spoke. I was thankful the other nurse wasn't going to be with us this time. I stood up, taking Ember's hand and she sighed. She looked up at Brian with a pleading look and he just smiled at her.

After the nurse took her weight and height, telling us she was average weight for her age but she was taller then normal. Jimmy. "What is Ember in for, Mrs. Sullivan?" The nurse asked. She checked Ember's ears and her eyes, making sure everything was fine.

"She's had a really bad cold for the past week and it's not getting any better, just worse." I told her and she nodded writing it down on the paperwork. I sighed when I saw how huge her folder was. Much larger then any other kid that came in here.

"Okay, the doctor should be in shortly." She smiled and left without another word.

"Mommy, I don't want them put me sleep." Ember said, tears on the verge of falling out of her eyes. When they were doing MRI's on her, they had to put her to sleep and she hated the mask that they had to put over her mouth.

"There not going to baby, okay?" I told her and she nodded, not very convinced.

"She still remembers?" Brian mumbled quietly to me. I looked over at him and nodded.

Only a few minutes later the doctor came in. "Mrs. Sullivan." He said happily.

"Hi, Doctor Neil." I said. I loved him as a doctor. He was the one that said Ember may have a bone infection after every other doctor said it was nothing. Well, everyone else was wrong. Neil was right. I trusted him with Ember's life.

"Mr. Haner." He said towards and Brian and he returned the hello. He was used to Brian being at the appointments with me. "Why is my little Ember here today?" He asked, not to happy with the fact that she was back.

"She has a really bad cold." He nodded and checked her heartbeat, then placing it on her back and his face changed, not for the better. Ember was a little worried with what he was doing, even though she enjoyed Doctor Neil.

He sighed heavily. "I think she may have Bronchitis. Have her coughs been filled with mucus?" He asked and I nodded. "Any fevers?"

"Yes, but low." He nodded, looking over at Ember stare at me.

"Does she have shortness in breath?"

"Yeah, and she wheezes every now and then."

"Okay, then she definitely has Bronchitis. She needs plenty of rest and lots of fluids. If it gets any worse then what it is, take her to the hospital." My gut sank at the word. "She's never had this before so I don't know if it's going to spring up every time she gets a cold but it is very common in young children." He said, sending a warm smile to Ember and then to me and Brian.

"Are you gonna put me sleep?" Ember asked him.

Doctor Neil chuckled a bit before shaking his head. "No sweetheart. But you have to stop running around with Uncle Brian or you're going to get more sick, okay?" She nodded and jumped off the table, scaring me half to death.

"Ember James, be careful." I scolded her, putting my arms out so I could pick her up. Brian and her laughed slightly.

"Sorry mommy." She apologized with a smile on her face.

Brian gave her a high five and she giggled. "Stop encouraging her." I told him.

"Sorry mommy." He mocked Ember and I shot daggers at him.

I had some of the best people behind me while raising Ember. I just was missing the most important one, Jimmy.