Better Than Me

[Jen's P.O.V.]

Katie, and I left the store to go home and finish setting up. When I came home I saw all the boys hanging up little flags, and setting up the fireworks. Frank was getting the barbecue ready to make food. Everyone's family was going to be arriving at any moment. I was so excited to tell my Aunt Kay. I hadn't seen her since I left her house about 8 months ago after the whole Bert thing. She's bringing Maddy but only for a little because, my friends don't know how to behave around a 5 year old. So she's going to visit her dad who lives a half hour away.

Everyone's family started showing up, the only families not there yet were mine, and Mikey's. Franks parents had just gotten there, and I didn't see them yet. I saw everyone talking with each other, and each other's families. It made me so anxious to see my aunt, and Maddy. I walked over to Mikey who also looked anxious. So I walked over to him, because Katie was with Steph introducing their parents to everyone.
"You okay?" I asked standing next to him.

"Uhm yeah." He said avoiding my eyes.

"Do you know if your parents have talked to Gerard?"

"I don't think so.. Mom was really upset, when she found out she cried. Dad just got really mad, and depressed. He blamed himself for it all, because he let Gerard drink at a young age." He said looking down and kicking a rock on the floor.

"Oh my god... I'm sorry Mikey. I didn't mean-"

"Stop right there. There is absolutely no reason for you to be sorry! This was not your fault in anyway shape or form! Gerard is paying for all he has done to you. No one deserves to be treated like that. Especially not someone who you love." He said looking up at me dead in the eye.

"Thank you Mikey,but I never asked you... How do you feel about me and Frank having a baby, and getting married and stuff.."

"Honestly it was weird at first, but I know now that Gerard wasn't right for you, and I see how happy you are with Frank. Even though Gerard is my brother, and I want him happy too, he doesn't deserve you if he's going to treat you that way. So I'm sad that these are the circumstances, but I am glad you and Frank are happy honestly."

"Thank you Mikey, that mean's the world to me." I said hugging him, and he hugged me tightly back. "I just hope Gerard gets what he needs to help himself." I said feeling myself get chocked up.

"Me too." Mikey said sounding sad also. Then I heard a man and a woman coming through the house. I turned around and saw Mikey's parents. They lit up when they saw Mikey, and he lit up too. He called Katie over towards them, and started going over there. Mikey's parents started giving him, and Katie hugs, and kisses, and everyone else. I saw Frank walk outside, and I could tell he looked uncomfortable. I walked over to him, and lightly pushed him towards Mikey's parents.
"It's fine Frank." I whispered as we both walked over there. They spotted us, and got so excited.
"Frank! Jen! I missed you two!" His mom said coming over, and giving Frank a hug. His dad was shortly behind her, and gave me a hug.

"Hi sweety. How are you." He said holding me tightly. Gerard's dad was always like the father I never had. It was sad when Gerard started drinking because he lost a lot of contact with his parents, which meant so did I.

"I'm good.. How are you?"

"I've been better...You're such a sweetheart." He said kissing my cheek. Then I had to say hello to his mom, this was going to be rough.

"Hello honey!" She said coming over, and kissing my cheek and holding me. At first it was all happy, but then I felt her sobbing. I quickly pulled her inside the house before anyone would notice.

"Why are you crying?" I asked handing her a tissue, and holding her.

"Because..I feel...horrible..for what Gerard..did to you.." She said wiping off her tears.

"Please don't be sorry. He's not a bad person, he just got involved in some messy stuff, but please don't be sorry I'm okay now." I said smiling.

"I know he's not a bad person but that doesn't change what happened." She said sobbing again.

"Please don't feel bad. What happened, happened. One day me and Gerard will be friends again, after he gets the help he needs." I said holding her hands which made her smile. I faked a smile too. I didn't want to lie to her but I had to. It wasn't her fault for what Gerard did to me, but I sure as hell wasn't okay. I have nightmares every night. Sometimes I wake up screaming and crying. On those nights Frank has to stay up with me holding me till I fall back asleep. No matter how much Gerard fucked me up, I can't tell his mom that. It will just destroy her.

We returned outside, and I saw my aunt Kay there with Maddy. I ran over and gave them both the biggest hugs. I couldn't tell if it was the hormones, or just pure excitement, but I started crying.
"Dont cry Jen!" Maddy said hugging me tighter.

"I'm sorry Mad I just missed you guys so much!"

"We missed you too!" Aunt Kay said laughing.
We all started talking, and everyone was eating. I just looked around at all the families sitting together eating nicely, and talking. It genuinely made me happy, like I hadn't been in a very long time. I walked up to Frank, and wanted to kiss him but couldn't spoil the surprise.
"When should we tell them?" He whispered.

"How 'bout now? Everyone's sitting, and calm." I said getting that empty feeling in my stomach you get when you're nervous.

"Sounds good." He said smiling, and grabbing a fork and glass. He clanked the fork on the glass and got everyone's attention. They all turned and looked at us, now it was about to get really real, really fast.

"Hey everyone I just wanted to thank all of you for coming to our fourth of July party. We are so happy to see all of you here!" Frank said loudly, and everyone said a slight 'thank you'.

"I have, well I mean WE, have some good news to share with you all." He said motioning to me. I looked at Mikey's, Katie's, Nicole's, Steph's, Bob's and Ray's faces, because they all knew what we were about to say, but no one else had a clue.

"Well theres two pieces of good news. First off, Jen and I have been together for quite some time now, and well..We're going to get married!" He said grabbing my hand. I saw everyone's jaw drop.

"I know you're all probably shocked, but wait theres more news! Jen and I are having a baby! She's 3 months pregnant!" He said holding my stomach, and pull my shirt tightly to expose my belly. Now everyone's mouths were on the floor. After a few seconds they all started smiling and clapping. They all started saying such positive things such as, 'congratulations!', 'That's great!', 'You guys deserve each other!'. They all started coming up to us and kissing us, and hugging us. My aunt came over and gave me the biggest hug of them all!
"I'm so happy to see you happy sweetie!" She said grabbing my face and kissing my cheek.

"Thanks aunt Kay!"

"I'm glad to see you with a guy who really makes you happy. Frank is a great guy, and he always has been. Let me know if you need anything I still have all of Maddy's baby clothes and stuff, so if you have a girl you're set!" She said laughing. In the midst of all the happiness, I looked over and saw Mikey giving his mom a hug while she cried. I felt horrible I didn't mean to upset her. I walked over to her, and she started to wipe the tears as if she wasn't crying.

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." I said getting choked up.

"No it's not you. It's just when ever I thought of hearing 'Jen and I are getting married, and having a baby' I always thought it would be Gerard saying it...Not Frank." She said looking down. The weird part was I agreed. I had always had feelings for Frank, but I never thought we would ever be getting married or having a baby. That doesn't mean I'm not happy with Frank, because I am happier with Frank then I ever was with Gerard, but It's just weird to think about how much everything changed. Mikey looked at me, and I could see this was wearing heavy on him.

"I'm sorry Mikey." I mouthed to him.

"Don't be, this is just hard for her." He mouthed back. He pulled me aside again.

"Listen Jen don't ever be sorry for this. It's what's best for you. No one wants you to compromise your safety, or sanity, it's just hard to get used to. They will warm up to it sooner or later. Gerard will get help and find someone else for him, then my parents will be happy again." He said in a soothing tone.

"I'm sorry honey. I am happy for you, and Frank." Mikey's mom said coming over and hugging me again.

"Thank you that does mean so much to me to hear you say that." I said kissing her cheek.
The rest of the night people came up to me asking, about the wedding and the baby and everything. Once it became dark, the fireworks started going off. Everyone was standing with either their kids, husbands/wives, or boyfriends/girlfriends, and I went over to Frank. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and I held his hand as it slung over me.

"This day couldn't have been any better." He said in my ear loud enough over the loud booms of the fireworks.

"I agree. Thank you for finally making me happy Frank. It means so much to me." I said taking his face in my free hand, and kissing his soft lips. I smiled at him, and he smiled back at me.

"No need to thank me its what you deserve." He said kissing my forehead. I rested my head on his shoulder. Even through the loud booms I heard something on the other side of the fence. I asked Frank to get me a drink, and I walked over to the fence, and I looked through the cracks in the fence. I saw a figure running down the drive way. I couldn't see who it was until a firework went off. Then I saw it was Gerard! I didn't want to make a scene, and ruin the night. I just became frozen with fear. I prayed he didn't see me. I think he did though because, when another firework went off I saw he was holding his finger to his lips as if he was saying shush. I freaked out, and turned away. I couldn't tell Frank, because he would kill him, and I couldn't do that to Gerard's mother. Maybe I was hallucinating. Maybe I had a fever or something, because with the next burst of light he was gone. Like he was never even there...

[Gerard's P.O.V.]
I had followed been outside the gate for a while. Long enough to hear the announcement, and everything else. What got me caught was after I heard my Mom, and Jen talking I started crying, but controlled myself. Then I heard Jen and Frank talking, and I realized this had really happened. I lost Jen. So I got so upset I started crying, again, but loudly. Then I kicked something, and Jen heard me somehow. I definitely scared her because I saw the look on her face in between fireworks. She was still terrified of me, which I couldn't stand. All I wanted was the love of my life back, but now I had no support. Even my parents hated me for what I did to her, and wanted her with Frank. God damn it I fucked up. What the fuck can I do now. I'm screwed! I might as well have stayed in jail for christ's sake. I feel bad I wanna see my parents, but I don't think they even wanna look at me. They're probably just embarrassed, ashamed, and disgusted with me. Hell I don't even like looking in the mirror. I don't expect them to want to see me. I needed to get everyone I cared about to love me again, I cant live like this I just cant..