Tear Tracks Forever

Surprised, Mr. Markin threw himself off Carmella, straightening his shirt. Carmella burst into tears, pulling the covers up over her.

“You sick, twisted creature!” I spat at Mr. Markin.

“What the hell’s wrong with you? How could you do this to your own daughter? You know what? I never want to see you anywhere around Carmella. Never step foot in her room again. Understand?” I growled.

“Listen, Rhee, I’m her father. I can damn well do what I want to her and you have no right to interfere!” Mr. Markin yelled at me.
“You have no fucking right to rape her! Let’s see what the police says about that when I tell them,” I threatened.

His eyes widened and he paled. “No. No. Please don’t tell. I’ll lose custody of her forever!”

“You damn well will. Now get the fuck out of here and don’t set foot in her room or anywhere near her ever again or you’ll suffer the consequences!” I yelled, and then whirled around, looking for something, anything heavy to throw at him. I picked up a nearby snow globe and threatened to throw it at him.

“Fine, I’m leaving,” he mumbled, fleeing from the room.

“And don’t come back, you bastard!” I screamed after him.

I slumped onto Carmella’s bed beside her, shocked by what I had just done. I had never been that rude or horrible to anyone before, let alone an adult. But he had deserved it, right?
I turned to Carmella, exhausted. “Are you okay?” I asked her.

She nodded, her brown eyes wide.

“Here,” I said, getting up and picking up her jean shorts, T shirt, and underwear off the floor and handing it to her.

“Do you want me to leave?” I asked, motioning to the door as she began to pull back on her clothes. She shook her head ‘no’ with those brown eyes still wide and watching me.

“Umm, okay,” I said. After she dressed, she sat next to me.

“Has he ever done that to you before?” I asked her.

Finally she spoke, in a soft, broken voice.

“Only once. It was a few months ago, when we were alone. He pushed me onto the dining table and pulled off my clothes. He didn’t do anything to me except touch me all over, especially in my private places. But then Alex came home from surfing and then he handed me my clothes and yelled not to tell anybody or else he’d do much worse to me. Then he shoved me down the stairs into the basement and I changed my clothes and everything was normal when Alex came home,” she said this all in a small explosion of words.

“Oh. I’m really sorry. You know, he’s not allowed to do that or else he could get in a lot of trouble, okay?” I told her, carefully choosing my choice of word, knowing I was talking to a ten-year old.

“I know,” she murmured.

“So if he ever does that again, I need you to tell me or Alex or somebody you trust, like Mommy. Okay?” I told her.

“Okay. Rhee, why did he do that if he knows it’s a bad thing?” she asked me.

I didn’t exactly know how to answer her question. She was much more innocent than a lot of ten-year olds I knew. She didn’t know much about sex and rape, just as a lot of ten-year olds did. I didn’t want to give her any new information, it was good that she was innocent and not a pervert at this age, so I said, “I don’t know, Carmella. I don’t know. But if you ever feel uncomfortable around him, tell somebody, okay?”

She nodded and said in a small voice, “Okay.”

“Hey, what’s going on here?” Alex asked, barging into the room with damp hair.

I looked at Carmella, and my hair concealing my lips, mouthed, “Do you want me to tell him?”

She quickly shook her head ‘no’, her straight, shoulder-length hair flying out around her.

“Okay. Well, Alex, we were…playing dress up,” I blurted.

He raised a light blond eyebrow.

“Yeah!” Carmella chimed in.

Alex sighed. “Care to explain why Dad is lying on the couch, really upset?” He glanced at me.

“No. Why?” I asked innocently.

“I don’t know. I was hoping you knew,” Alex said.

“Nope. We don’t,” I said, giving Alex an innocent look.

He shrugged. “Well, okay. Anybody up for a game of UNO?” he asked.

Carmella and I nodded, and we sat down in silence, playing UNO for the next half an hour until Alex got bored and said he was going to go on Facebook.

Carmella’s friend called, and they talked on the phone, so I decided to leave her. I went to my room and figured out that I had nothing better to do than unpack my clothes, so I put my iPod into my iHome and turned it up to one of my favorite Hindi songs. I closed the door and began unpacking my clothes, swiftly dancing as I shoved them into drawers and hung some of them.

A few minutes later, Alex stepped into the room. “What are these people saying in this song?”

I shrugged. “I don’t know. I mean, I know Hindi, but I can’t understand what they’re saying in the song because they’re talking too fast,” I told him.

He laughed. “I like the beat of it.”

“Me too.”

We were quiet for awhile, Alex sat down and looked through the few things that I had placed on the desk.

I put out my laptop and Alex grabbed it, turning it on and making me type in my password so he could get on.

I didn’t now what website he was on—he could easily be on my email or Facebook because I always kept myself logged in. I didn’t really care anyway, so I just stepped over to the mirror and tried my best to fix my long, curly, thick, almost-dry black hair.

I ran some Garnier Frutcis mousse through my hair, trying to calm it. It sort of worked, so I just let it be, sitting next to Alex. He was just looking through my photos and music.

We talked for a couple of minutes, until Mrs. Markin burst into my room while I was laughing at something he told me. She smiled at us. “Nice to see you’re getting along so well. I hate to interrupt, but Rhee, you have to go to work tomorrow at 10:00, so you need to go to sleep.”

“Okay. Goodnight, Rhee,” Alex said, getting up and leaving the room.
I emailed a few of my friends back, and then turned off the laptop and light, falling asleep.

*~*

It was around 9:0 the next morning, and I quickly dressed in a pair of sporty Nike short shorts and a baggy T-shirt as I was told for the first day at the job. Alex woke up along with me; he was going to go to the beach with me and surf.

I made some pancakes for the two of us, and since I was still tired, we didn’t talk much. I just sort of closed my eyes as I chewed my two pancakes.

I made some more for Carmella and the others, leaving them covered with a plate along with a note that said,
I made some pancakes for you guys. Enjoy. ~Rhee

It was around 9:50 when Alex gathered up his surfboard and I grabbed my beach bag and we headed to the beach.

“’Kay, bye, Rhee, I’ll see you in a few hours. Gonna catch some waves,” Alex said, waving to me and then heading in the opposite direction.

I was on my way to the lifeguard shack to get my swimsuit and instructions, when a suntanned blonde in a very skimpy pink bikini spoke to me.

“Made friends with Alex already, I see?” she asked sarcastically.

I whirled around. “Oh, my dad’s friends with his dad. I’m staying with his family for the summer. I’m Rhee,” I told her coolly.

“Oh, good, because you don’t seem like his type,” she said evilly, placing her manicured fingernails on her tan hips and shaking back her over-straightened blonde hair.

“Oh, really. And you would know how?” I asked her.

“Oh, I’m his ex-girlfriend. Ashlee. I just though Alex would go for the more, hmm, popular, hot girls,” she said, smiling at me.

I was angry that she’d called me a fat loser, but instead I smiled wickedly at her.

“Hot, popular girls? Then I have no idea what he saw in you. Nice talking to you, Ashlee,” I said to her, turning away and walking toward the lifeguard stand, leaving her staring openmouthed after me.

There was a nice looking, tanned, muscled man in his mid-twenties ready, waiting for me.

He smiled at me. “You must be Rhee.”

“Yep. Nice to meet you,” I told him.

“Same here. I’m Dave. Now, here’s your swimsuit, a two piece small, just as you requested,” he said, handing me a package.

Yes, I had asked for a bikini. That was because the one-pieces in the catalogue were ugly and baggy. The bikini wasn’t skimpy at all, though. It was sporty. The top was designed like a thick-strap sports bra, and the bottom were like sport shorts.

“Thank you,” I said, smiling at him.

He went over some more instructions, and I listened carefully and intently. After about half an hour, he told me, “Go into the back room and change into your lifeguard costume,” he pointed toward a tiny room near the back.

I stepped into the room and locked the door, stripping off my T-shirt and shorts and pulling on the new clothes. I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. I had done a good job of working out for an hour every day. I wasn’t muscled or anything, but I wasn’t flabby either. I was proud of my flat abs and lean legs.

I shoved my other clothes in my bag and stepped outside.

“Great. It’s a perfect fit. Now are you ready to do the job?” Dave asked.

I told him yes, and then he showed me the lifeguard chair. I read my copy of Seventeen, remembering to look around in my binoculars every five minutes. When it was time for my break, Alex ran over to my chair and I climbed down.

“Hey. How was your first two hours on the job?” he asked me, smiling. I could feel his gaze on me in my sporty bikini, taking in how I looked in it.

“Great. And boring. How about your surfing?” I asked.

“Awesome,” then he brightened, “I should teach you how to surf!”

I laughed, shaking my head. “No way.”

He pouted. “Please?”

“Nope.”

“Pretty please?”

“Not a chance.”

“Ugh, fine,” he rolled his eyes. He was about to say something else when Ashley walked over to us.

“Hey, Alex. Rhee,” she added in a much colder tone.

Alex looked in surprise from the both of us. “You guys know each other?”

“I just met her. On the way to the shack,” I explained to Alex.

“Oh, okay. Hey, Ashlee,” Alex said, and then turned back to me.

“It’s not nice to ignore people,” Ashley whined, wrapping her arms around Alex’s waist.

“Ashlee, get off,” Alex gritted his teeth, unwrapping Ashlee’s arms from around him. She let go, but glanced at him. “Can you get me a Popsicle?” she asked.

“Nope.”

“Please?”

“Nope. Hey, Rhee, do you want anything? I was just going to go and get a Coke,” Alex grinned at me.

“Hmm, a Coke would be nice too. Here’s two dollars,” I said, pulling out my wallet.

'Nope, I’m the guy. I pay,” Alex shook his head.

“But—” I protested.

“Sorry, Rhee,” Alex sprinted off toward the boardwalk.

“You know, he’s just being nice to you because you’re his guest,” Ashlee rolled her eyes, picking at her nails.

“Ashlee, if you don’t want to get punched in the face, I suggest you fuck off,” I told her.

“Like you can fight me,” she rolled her eyes again.

I raised my plucked eyebrows. “Is that a threat? I’m a black belt in karate. I can rip off those fake nails of yours and shove ‘em down your throat faster than you can yell help,” I told her.
She rolled her eyes, stalking away, murmuring, “Bitch.”

Alex reappeared next to me. “What did you do to get rid of her?” he asked.

“I threatened to rip off her nails and shove them down her throat,” I told him.

He laughed. “Nice. Up top,” he held out his hand for a high five. I high-fived him, and then spoke.

“Why did you ever date her? She doesn’t seem like someone you would spend your time with.”

“I don’t know. This was like a year ago, and I was just looking for a hookup. I don’t really like her,” he answered.

“Oh. I’ve only had one boyfriend, and I broke up with him because he was such a man-slut.”

“Oh, I know what you mean. He and Ashlee should get together!” Alex grinned.

I laughed. “Sure.”

Then we stood by the lifeguard stand, silently sipping out sodas.