Seventy Times Seven

I whizzed delightfully through the rest of my classes. It was unbelieveable, thinking that the first half of my day had been so terrible, and now I was humming Black Flag in my head as I waited for the bell to dismiss the rest of the school day.

It had been a really long time since I had felt like this. Ever since dad left, when my mom went on business trips, she would always send me to my Grandmas in Norfolk. After I turned fourteen though, and convinced her that if she left me with groceries, I'd be ok staying at home while she was gone. We had always been kind of close..well not like close close, she's not like my 'best friend' or anything, but I didn't dream of killing her like some people do their moms.

At first it took a lot to convince her I'd be ok. Only letting me stay when she was only gone two days at a time or so. But then she would slowly get higher up on her business status and the trips would get longer. Once I got my restricted she gave me permission to drive where ever I wanted and I never went to Grandmas again for her trips.

Now shes gone for multiple weeks at a time. Occasionally sending money, or coming back for a week or so inbetween. I got used to the loneliness..and routine. I'd wake up, go to school, come home, do homework or work, eat dinner, go to bed. Every now and then I'd treat myself to some ice cream or go to the grocery store or something, but it wasnt necessary. I was never an extremely social person, so I didn't really have friends (out of choice, I just dont hang out with people). So my life became scripted. Fine with me.

My daily routine though is missing one big chunk though, if you didnt notice. Frank. He would say shit and make me feel horrible and I'd do it back. That became part of routine to. Didn't really effect me much, just made my opinion on society that much worse. But then Frank hit me and well..you know the rest.

I continued humming in my head, tapping my pencil. Not to mention these things I was thinking about Frank now.

I waited patiently. Two twenty-eight. School got out at for the high school at two thirty. Two long minutes...

You wanna know the truth? I had already thought this, long and hard. I was kind of crushing on Frank. That was sure. Now, I knew that he wasnt being himself, seeing as he still felt really bad for being mean to me and stuff. And when things get better, there might be some things I don't like about him. I was just laying this out in front of me, making it realistic.

To be honest? I really didnt care. I knew that whatever I was doing though, I was having fun, and I fucking loved it. And as long as Frank laughed and had fun too? I was taking advantage of it.

Brrrriiiinnnnnggggg..

I grabbed my books and slid out of my desk, headed for my locker. I shoved my algebra and my biology book in my bag, along with a notebook, and pulled out my keys.

"Hey Shortie," Frank said walking up beside me. Gerard falling closely behind.

"What?! I'm not much shorter than you!" I protested, shutting my locker forcefully and closing the lock.

"Yea but you are shorter, nonetheless. You're probably the only one I can call that and have it be truthful," he said with an evil smile. A nice one though..if that makes sense.

Gerard groaned. "Fuuuck. I've got a shitload of homework, Toro's been all up about some stupid Chemistry project, you're cleaning Franks house, and Mikeys staying the night at a friends house. We're all tied, unless you found a way out of this plague, Frank," he said as we walked out to the parking lot.

"Mikeys staying the night at a friends house?" he replied with slight disappointment it seemed.

"Yea, Austin Simmons, you know him?"

I scrunched up my face. "Really? Doesn't seem like someone Mikey'd hang out with.." I said as we got closer and closer to my car.

He smirked, "Yea. He's not. I think he's got a thing for his sister.."

Frank started laughing. "Nice.. Well, I've got a ton of homework too. Biologys a bitch.."

"Two points to that," I said unlocking my car as they stood around. "Yea, and I gotta clean your house, meet you there? I don't really need to go home for anything...seeing as I ate lunch today."

"Oh right!" How could he forget? We were just talking about this a meer two hours ago. "Yea sure."

I rolled my eyes. "Bye guys."

"See ya."

"Later Shortie."

I pulled out of the parking lot as I saw Frank and Gerard getting into their cars in unison. It's always a bitch getting in and out of the school parking lot.

After we finally managed to get out, I drove to Franks house and he pulled up behind me. He got out with a cigarette in his hand.

"You smoke?" I asked as we walked up to the house. It didn't bother me, I've just never noticed before.

"No," he said with wink, taking a drag. He started reaching into his pockets for the key as I waited patiently.

He groped his pockets intently. Winding up with nothing. He tried to open the door but it was locked. "Fuck.." he said, cupping his hands around his eyes, pressing on the window.

"What?" I asked, mimicking him.

"My key..is over there.." he gestured, pointing to the counter.

I kinda smirked, "What the hells it doing over there?!"

"Being a cocky little bitch and not opening the door.. Agh, sorry. I guess I'm not getting into my house until mom gets home, which is like, five thirty."

"Meh thats cool. We've got time to kill then," I said wrapping my arms around myself, cringing at my tender ribs. It was really fucking cold outside. I hope he doesnt want me to go home and come back later. I don't really want to..

We sat down on his porch in silence. I pulled my legs up and wrapped my arms around my legs, laying my head on my knees so that it was facing him. After a second he mimicked me, making me smile. His hazel eyes staring at mine. His messy dark brown hair (or maybe it seriously is black..) gently falling across his face. His jeans were tore at the knees and he had on a black jacket with thumb holes cut out sloppily.

His eyes were gorgeous. Something about them made me keep looking back. At first it felt awkward, seeing as he was staring back, but I couldn't help it. I had never seen his eyes so normal. Normally he was pissed or vengeful. It made me smile more.

"What are you thinking?" he said quietly without moving.

Shit.. "It's cold," I said wrapping my arms around me more.

"Nuh uh," he said smiling.

I lifted my head up. "Dude its gotta be like, six degrees."

He rolled his eyes then scooted closer to me. "No, I meant thats not what you were thinking," he said pulling off his jacket and throwing it over my shoulders. It was light and thin, but warm from his body heat. I wrapped it around me gratefully.

I looked up in thought. "Dude what the hell are we doing here? Lets go to my house or get coffee or something."

"Coffee sounds fun," he said jumping up. I got up too and pulled off his coat. "Nah, keep it, looks better on you."

I looked at him sideways. "Its fucking cold. Take your jacket," I said pulling it off. It's not like I didn't have one. It was thin and black and hugged my sides, with a row of studs going along the pockets. I had it zipped up partially, even though it did very little.

He rolled his eyes but took his jacket, "You're so stubborn Chels," he replied getting into his car as I got into the passengers seat.

I kinda laughed watching him put the key in the ignition, "Dude why dont you put your house key on your key ring? Then you wouldn't lock yourself out."

"I have to keep it outside. In case you need it. I don't really care it doesnt bother me, but I normally remember to just slide it back under the mat when I unlock the door. Guess I forgot today. Starbucks ok with you?"

"Yea sure," I replied glancing out the windows. I had lived here my whole life. I knew this place like madness.

After a couple seconds I noticed spots on the windshield. "Oh god its snowing.." Frank complained, parking in front of the wall to wall shops.

"Heck yea!" I said excitedly jumping out. Snow was fun and fluffy. Besides the fact that its cold.

He smirked and poked me gently. "Agh fuck!!" I said cringing, since my ribs were sore.

His eyes got wide after he realized what he did. "Fuck I'm so sorry are you ok? Shit!" he yelled smacking himself in the face and grabbing his hair in frustration.

I managed to smile and grabbed his arm. "Don't do that. And don't worry about it its ok. My ribs just kinda hurt."

"I know and its because I'm stupid," he replied angrily to himself.

I looked at him kind of irritated. "Hey..hey!" I said grabbing his arms and making him look at me. It really bothered him when he did something and I reacted because of something he did in the past. He finally looked at me though, "Don't do that, really its ok. No big deal, I'm alive."

At first he wasnt convinced. I could tell, his eyes were somewhat familiar when he was frustrated. They looked harder, like he was searching for something. Finally he sighed, and he melted back to normal. I relaxed a little, still gently holding his forearm. The snow falling gently. "Don't do that. I don't like it. It's not cool," I said softly. I stared at his eyes, trying desperately to get my point across.

He groaned in response, running his fingers through his loose hair. "But Chelsea..this.." he said touching the cut along my forehead, "and this.." he continued lightly running his fingers across the bruise around my eye. His touch made me shudder, especially since he was being extremely careful as to not hurt me again. "It's all my fault..and thats just some of the physical.."

"I told you not to beat yourself up about it," I said sternly.

"How can I not when I know you don't forgive me?!" he said loudly. It scared me. Last time I didn't forgive him I got the shit beat out of me. I stepped back a little, but still listened. He noticed, and his face fell to sadness and I immediately felt bad. "And see? Now I scare you! I'm such a fucking...erg!" he yelled in frustration. Walking over the the wall and leaning against it, repeatedly beating his head on the brick.

I ran over to him. "No no no dont do that!" I don't like it when people hurt themselves, at all. I grabbed his arms to pull him away.

He quickly spun around though, and to my surprise, he wrapped his arms around me. His chest touching mine. His face next to my ear. I jumped, from impulse, but he just held me. It was firm so I couldn't get out, but not bad enough to hurt. "Chelsea," his voice whispered into my ear, making me shiver. "You don't have to forgive me. I understand. But I'm begging you, please dont be scared of me. I cant hurt you. I will never ever hurt you again Chelsea Manson I swear on my fucking life. Please.."

I will never ever hurt you again Chelsea Manson...

My eyes started to sting. I won't cry, I wont cry, I won't cry!

I buried my face into his chest, pinning my arms next to me, knowing that it wasnt working, the whole telling myself not to cry thing. I think he got the idea, he relaxed but held me tighter. Trying to comfort me. "I'm so sorry Chelsea.." he replied, glancing down at my face. "I'm so sorry..." He wiped at some of my tears, trying to be gentle for some of the bruises. The snow was still falling lightly, and I really didnt want to move.

"Hey.." he said quietly, loosing his grip so I could look up. After I didn't he let me go and put his hands on my arms. "Hey, how about coffee?"

I looked up at him, and he smiled. That made me laugh a little, even though it sounded weird since I had been crying. I dragged my sleeves across my eyes, trying to erase the tears. He was still waiting on a response, and I was trying to think of what to say.

I finally just gave up and hugged him. Standing on my toes and wrapping my arms around his neck. "You fucking own, Iero," was all I could think to say without coming straight out and saying 'I fucking love you.'

Because I did. I love how he thinks about what I'm thinking, and how I feel. When about a week ago that was the last thing on his mind. I love how he has the courage to do all this. To try to make me happy, when he knows he really fucked up my life. I love him for it.

He gently put his arms around my waist to hug back. "I'll do anything to make you happy. I owe you. Now its getting cold," he said as I let go.

We went in to get coffee, his right arm still around my waist.