All Those Things I Still Remember

I waited until everyone had left and Mel was in bed. I closed the door and crossed the room to my bed. I sat in the center of it and thought for a moment. I closed my eyes and began trying to form the words that I wanted to speak. Finally, I figured out what I wanted to say.

“Jimmy, I know you are gone. But, I still feel you with me. Are you still here after all?” I asked quietly to the air. After several seconds of silence, I sighed. “Okay, well, whether or not you are here, I just feel like talking to you. Melody keeps talking to someone. Someone that I can’t see. I think it’s you. I hope it’s you. I just… I really wish that I could talk to you too…”The wind blew, knocking a branch against the window. I closed my eyes, ready to give up. “Well, I guess I can’t….”At that moment, the wind picked up and blew the windows open. A sound filled the room. It sounded like a voice being carried through the wind.

“Shay…”I felt my heart race. “I’m here.” I blinked repeatedly.

“Okay, this is like a really trippy ghost story, ”I muttered to myself. “Look, if it’s you, please take a less dramatic entrance…”The wind stopped. I rolled my eyes, smiling to myself. I rested my head on my knees, unsure of what I was even doing. I felt the bed sink in and my heart began to race. Part of me wanted to see him. But, part of me was afraid that he didn’t look…The same… I finally forced myself to look at him. First, I noted the “Fiction” tattoo, which sealed any doubt I had about who it was. I finally dragged my gaze to his face. His eyes were hollow and emotionless, but it was him.

“Jimmy…”I muttered to myself. He smiled faintly. I slowly raised one of my hands to his chest to assure myself that he was really there. My hand rested on his chest and, after I realized that he was a solid figure, I threw my arms around him. “I have missed you so much.” He remained silent, but he put his arms around me as well. After a few minutes, I pulled away, wiping away the tears. “What happened?” He looked coldly into my eyes before averting his gaze from there. “Jimmy?”

“It was an accident, ”he said just barely audibly. I furrowed my brows in worry.

“What do you mean?” I asked quietly.

“I didn’t want to die. That wasn’t my plan…”

“You had a plan?”

“I wanted to escape the pain. I didn’t want to die.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I didn’t want to die, ”he repeated. I turned to look into his eyes and saw that they had become completely black. I watched in worry as his eyes turned back to me. “It wasn’t supposed to happen like that. I didn’t want to die. Why didn’t you stop me? I didn’t want to die.” His tone became harsher and I felt panicked. His grip on my wrist tightened and I heard myself scream.

“Let go!” I begged.

I felt someone shaking me gently and I awoke with a gasp. Melody was sitting next to me. I took shaky breaths as I tried to calm myself down.

“Mommy, what happened?” She asked in a small voice.

“Nothing, baby girl. I just had a really bad dream…”I muttered quietly.

“It was about Uncle Jimmy, wasn’t it?” She asked quietly. I looked at her.

“How did you know?” I asked.

“Mommy, he won’t hurt you… He loves you, ”she said with a tiny smile. I nodded and wrapped my arms around her.

“Well, I love him too. You wanna stay in here with me?” I asked her. She nodded and I pulled the blanket over the two of us. After a little while, she fell asleep and I tried to get that nightmare out of my head.