Drowning in a River of Denial

“If nothing happens for the rest of my life, it’ll be too soon,” I sighed happily, flipping through the endless channels and finding nothing interesting on.

“Will you look at that?” Alex laughed from the kitchen. I looked up at him.

“What?”

“Cass is getting married,” he informed me. I raised an eyebrow and he chuckled. “Check your phone.”

I grabbed my phone off the end table and unlocked it. Sure enough, I had a message waiting from Cassadee, with a photo of her left finger, complete with a shiny new diamond ring.

“Good for her. Singer finally proposed,” I said with a smile. Alex joined me on the couch and cuddled into my side with a cup of coffee. It was a lazy Sunday morning, a few weeks after I’d made it home. We had decided to take a few weeks off, just to relax and then we’d get back to touring, to being back in the world. Our fans were being amazing about this whole situation. We all had eased their worries as soon as I was home, tweeting and posting pictures of all of us together. Since then, they were just so understanding.

I typed my message back to Cass as Alex sipped at his coffee.

About time! Congrats, Cass! Call me once you get done with family obligations

I kissed Alex on the top of the head and ran my hand up and down his arm.

My phone started ringing almost immediately.

“Cass,” Alex and I both chorused, chuckling. I answered it with a hello and prepared myself.

“Alex and I were talking,” she said in lieu of a hello.

“Yeah?”

“I mean, not about you. But about the wedding, and about kids and everything.”

“Are you pregnant? Is that why Alex proposed?” I asked.

“No. Shut up, Dawson,” she laughed.

“What brought up these topics?”

“Well, we decided that we want you and Alex to be our kid’s godparents.”

“Oh?”

“You’d be great at it. I know you would be.”

“Yeah, but why me and Alex?”

“I don’t have to give you a reason, Ri. Just know that I trust you with the life of my child and accept it.”

“Alright, alright. I accept it. What made you talk about these things?”

“I don’t know. We were just talking about our future and well, that’s how he proposed.”

“Romantic,” I chuckled.

“Shut up. You don’t know.”

“No, I don’t. You’re right. I know you don’t like huge romantic gestures. Unlike someone else I know,” I said pointedly. Alex looked up at me with a big grin.

“Well, he did come out in front of a sold-out crowd,” she reminded me. “He’s a big gesture kind of guy.”

“And I wouldn’t have him any other way.”

-&-

“It’s so great to be back on stage! Thank you for sticking with us, and just, god, I missed you beautiful fuckers!” Alex said into the mic. It was our first show back and it felt good. It felt better than good. It was the best feeling in the world. I was back behind my drums, overlooking my three best friends and a venue crowded with excited fans. This is where we belong. I missed this so much.

“Welcome the best drummer in the world back, by the way. We’re so glad to have him back and I’m sure you are too,” Alex said, turning to look at me. The crowd screamed, just as Alex hoped they’d would. I grinned as he winked at me. He glanced at the crowd and then at me. He shrugged to himself before he waltzed towards me. He stood up on the platform and leaned over the drums.

“Have I mentioned I love you today?” he asked me quietly. I shook my head. He kissed my forehead and jumped backwards off the platform, spinning around to face the crowd.

“Alright, this next song, well, you’ll see.”

We launched into Damned If I Do Ya and I was reminded just how much I love my job.

-&-

“And I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride,” the pastor said, smiling at the couple before him. Alex took Cassadee into his arms and grinned right before pressing their lips together. The crowd of family and friends whooped and cheered as they kissed. I took my own Alex’s hand and smiled at him. He leaned over and kissed me softly.

“I love you, Lex,” I muttered.

“I love you too,” he whispered. When we looked up, the entire wedding party had started their march back down the aisle. Cassadee was beaming, her smile spread from ear to ear. I reached out and caught her hand for a moment. She looked back at me and she winked. Her hand slipped from mine and she moved on her way, up the dock towards the pavilion. They had held their wedding on a small, private beach in Florida, on a pier that overlooks the ocean. It was perfect to the pair, small and simple.

We followed the crowd up to the pavilion and took our seats at one of the picnic tables set up inside. Cass disappeared from view just to flit over to us.

“Thank you, Ri,” she said, kissing my forehead.

“What are you thanking me for?”

“I never told you this, but Alex finally plucked up the courage to propose when you came home,” she said. “Because he couldn’t bear to think what would happen if what happened to you and Alex happened to us. He wanted to make sure that I knew we were for real if anything ever happened.”

“Are you thanking me for being kidnapped?” I asked slowly. She laughed.

“I guess so,” she responded. My Alex took my hand underneath the table. “But I guess, I’m also thanking you for coming home, for coming back to him.”

She nodded towards my Alex.

“How could I not?”

-&-

“Alright, this is gonna be our last song. I’m pretty sure you already know what it is. If you don’t, well, this is Dear Maria, Count Me I- Rian, what’re you doing?” Alex broke off as I got up from my drum set and walked around towards him. Zack broke out into a grin and stepped up to his microphone.

“You guys are gonna want to turn your cameras on. This isn’t something you’re gonna want to miss,” he informed the crowd. I stood before Alex, and smiled.

“Hey baby,” I said softly. He glanced around and then at me.

“What’s up?”

“Two years ago, you came out in front of a crowd this size. It was one of the bravest things I have ever seen anybody do. We’ve been together for a while, and we’ve been through some pretty intense shit. I think it’s time that we moved forward. That’s why, tonight, Alex Gaskarth,” I paused, stepped into my boyfriend and kissed him, the screams of our fans bouncing around us. I let him go and then grinned.

“Zack,” I turned and he tossed me a small box. I caught it and faced my boyfriend once again. I took Alex’s hand and then knelt before him. His jaw fell and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Alex, tonight, I want to take things further, if you’d have me.”

I opened the box and faced it towards him.

“So Alex, will you marry me?”

Tears filled his eyes and his mouth shut for a moment before he pulled me up and kissed me.

“Of course I will,” he sniffled, resting his forehead on mine. I took out the ring and slid it onto his finger. “God, you are just perfection, do you know that? I’m so lucky.”

“We both are. Now, we have a song to play, before Matt gets pissed that I stopped the show.”

“Fuck him, I was just proposed to. I’m going to enjoy this moment for a second,” he sighed. I ran my hands through his hair and then stepped back.

“Sing your song, Alexander.”

“Just for you, baby,” he said, smacking my ass. I laughed and went back to my drum set, smiling at our crew who gave me a thumbs up as I walked.

“I am so fucking happy right now, guys. I don’t think you understand! How about you? Did you have a good night?” Alex yelled into the mic.

The crowd screamed in response.

“You promised you’d love me,” Jack fake sobbed.

“Sorry, Jack. Rian captured my heart first.”

The crowd cooed.

“Alright, alright, seriously, this is Dear Maria, Count Me In, we’re All Time Low, thanks for coming out! We’ll see you next time!”