Break Me Down

For the second time in a week Lilly was sitting in the dull green and grey waiting room of her doctors. Her name got called swiftly and Lilly thought for a second the receptionist looked at her sympathetically when instructing her which room to go to. Her doctor came to a blank on the first visit so referred her for some tests, after being told the results could take up to two weeks Lilly was surprised when she got a phone call the next day asking to see her doctor.

“Miss Brock, is no one with you?”

“No I don’t feel as bad today, yesterday all the tests made me feel so tired though I could hardly move all night and I got such a stomach ache. It’s hard to keep much down really, I don’t know if that’s important and has much to do with anything.

“I’m afraid it does, and it’s not surprising considering the circumstances. I am very sorry Miss Brock but the scans found tumours within your stomach.”

“TUMOURS?” Lilly’s heart quickened she suddenly felt her hands go clammy and the pulse of her body clock raging through her body.

“The biopsy results aren’t fully back yet but ninety nine percent they look cancerous, I’m sorry.” Although the doctor did sound a little sorry Lilly couldn’t help but pick up how he spoke like it was routine, he had probably don’t this many times before all empathy was almost gone.

“Am I going to die?” Lilly asked the only question which came into her head no that was a partial lie she had hundreds of questions but this was the only one which made sense.

“We will start you on treatment right away, there are lots of little tumours so operating isn’t
an option at this point, we will instead start you on chemotherapy. Expect a call from the hospital in the next couple of days giving you an appointment and your consultant’s name. Before you go in for treatment they will fully explain everything better than I can okay?” Okay? Lilly thought, how could she be okay when she was just told she had cancer? Not wanting to be rude Lilly just nodded and thanked the middle aged greying man before shuffling out to her car not looking up from the ground once. Lilly shakily picked up her phone never thinking once she would be making this call, knowing her parents would both be busy working Lilly turned to the next best person.

“Hey Lilly Lu how did it go?”

“I’m dying.” Lilly burst into floods of tears repeating the same two sentences over and over again to her very confused boyfriend on the other end of the line. Not being able to get anything else out of her Garrett worried shoved the phone in Kennedy’s face demanding her found out the truth because she was worrying him.

“Lilly, Lilly calm down hunny tell me what’s going on.”

“I’m dying,” she whispered, her total state of shock preventing her from saying anything else.

“What do you mean you’re dying? What did the doctor say?” Kennedy spoke clearly and slowly trying to make Lilly process each word in turn to see if it would work, it did.

“I’ve got cancer,” she whispered as if she was ashamed of being ill.

“I’m coming,” was all Kennedy said before shoving the phone back into Garrett’s chest and announcing he was leaving tour. Then he ran to the bunks to pack not having time in explain to anyone, he just wanted to get to his sister.

When Kennedy finally explained what has happening, Max booked him a flight home as soon as possible, as upset as Garrett was he knew Kennedy would have to be the one looking after Lilly and he would have to cope with seeing her after tour. Still wanting to help as much as he could Garrett all but bullied his brother into filling in for Kennedy for the rest of tour.

There was only one difference in the ill Lilly he left and the Lilly he came to was Lilly looked and was depressed, she didn’t look that ill, just like she had food poisoning but both he and Lilly knew it was only a matter of time.

It was nearly three months, ten and a half weeks to be exact until the rest of The Maine boys came home. Kennedy warned all of them about Lilly’s now frailer and more sickly appearance thanks to the treatment. Kennedy thought it best for Lilly to not have everyone bombard her at once so only Garrett was on his way to see her after saying hello to his family. Of course the rusty haired bass player was nervous, he had no idea what state Lilly would be in physically and mentally and it scared him. Even though he was expected a frail figure Garrett was still shocked. She had aged oddly enough, due to her pale almost grey complexion and how her cheeks had drawn in. She had lost a lot of weight, over a stone at least and her lips were thin and the lightest shade of pink. The thin lines pulled up into a smile when her hazel eyes fell on the staring boy.

“Garrett you came!” Her voice was scratchy and lower, the treatment leaving her in constant need of thirst and the sore throat coming with it. One of the couches had been replaced by a sofa bed so Lilly wouldn’t have to climb any stairs unless she needed a shower, even then Kennedy or her father carried her. She never really went anywhere anymore except for treatment once a week and also every Sunday she went for a small walk just round the block just to prove she still could.

“Of course I did, you’re still my Lilly Lu and nothing will take that away.” He sat near Lilly’s feet and shot his girlfriend a small smile, there was no denying it was an awkward situation neither really knowing what to say or knowing what they wanted to say and being too scared to speak up.

“How are you, in yourself I mean excluding the er...”

“Cancer?” Garrett nodded, Lilly was like Garrett at first not wanting to say the word but she had grown accustomed to it over the past weeks.

“I’m scared Garrett if I’m honest, I’m really scared. I never wanna go to sleep in case I won’t wake up the next day.” Garrett wasted no time in wrapping up his girlfriend and easily lifted her onto his lap at the first sight of tears.

“We’ll fight it okay, you’ve done so well after the past couple of months but now I’m here to help you the rest of the way, we’ll do this together. Me and you Lilly and Garrett against the world yeah? That’s how it’s going to be we’ll fight this thing together.” Garrett was close to tears himself but he had to be strong, he had to be there for Lilly. She nodded and kissed Garrett’s cheek ever so softly like it was a thank you.

“You know why we’re going to fight it?” Garrett asked playing with Lilly’s hair softly noticing a few odd strands dropping out. Lilly just shook her head and looked up at Garrett’s stubble accumulating cheek.

“Because one day we’re going to have this house with a little red door, there’s going to be pink rose bushes outside and a beautiful porch complete with swing. Inside there’s going to be two little dogs, a Jack Russell and a beagle running around keeping other happy. We’ll be sitting on sofa you playing with the newly placed ring on your finger just wasting the night away. That’s going to happen Lilly we’re going to make sure of it.”