Can We Get This Back?

Whoever thought that having an older sibling was like having a great role model, has another thing coming to them. Over the years, I always looked up to my brother, Dean, whether it was out hunting or obeying Dad’s commands; I wanted to be just like him. Looking back, I never realized how much he would intentionally hide the truth from me. It was obvious by the way the he’s been acting, our father told him something about me in the hospital room the night he died. I just wish he would tell me instead of hiding it from me. It irks me to no end that he doesn’t have the balls to man up and confess, but it’s clear that he would only make me mad and didn’t want to see that occur. He must have found something in order to demand me to get out of the Impala and keep going towards Topeka. Why would he just let me go without protesting first? Not once did he yell out to me to try and sort things out. What kind of brother was he?

Walking down the lonely blacktop road in the scorching hot sun, my feet were dragging exhaustingly as I must have been at it for miles. The sun was already starting to set, so I knew that it had been a good six hours I was on my own. A part of me wanted to turn around and head back to Topeka, not because I regretted getting out of the car but because we most likely had a case that needed to be solved. It was my own stupid fault for going back in the same direction we came from, but I was just too irate with Dean to even care. My brother won’t know what to do once he gets there. All he’ll do is go into some random bar, drink until he forgets I’m even gone and I wouldn’t doubt for second he walks out with a woman in his arms. If he focused more on cases as he did woman, we would be finished with it all in one sitting. Hell, I have an idiot for a brother- or just a pig.

Just twenty miles east of Topeka, I sighed as I approached a familiar yet uncanny town; Lawrence, Kansas- the hometown to us Winchesters. Dean and I came back here last fall on one of our cases that were taking place at our old house last fall, the same house where our mother died because of a fire in my nursery room. I tried not to let it get to me, but how could you not when you start walking down memory lane in such a town? Not that I really remember much of the town, but it was what happened that sets me under attack.

I grazed up and down that streets casually, as I got bizarre stares from those who passed by. It was a lot like walking in a busy city where everyone is in business suits, and you’re that moron wearing a cowboy hat to go with your overalls. One place that I thought I’d fit in just wasn’t what I thought it would be.

“Sam Winchester?” A rowdy feminine voice said in front of me. I glanced up in a baffled manner but a mere smile formed on my face when I acknowledged the familiar woman as Missouri, the town’s psychic who my brother and I had met on our last trip here; she was also a good friend of Dad. “Boy, I knew I said for you not to be strangers but I didn’t expect to see you again so soon.” She added as she walked up and gave me a tight embrace. The young African-American woman was as nice and she always treated me with kindness, just wasn’t very fond of Dean. I couldn’t blame her. “How have you been? Where’s that wild child brother of yours?”

I hesitated for a moment, but didn’t wipe away the grin on my face. There was no need in letting this woman in on my issues with Dean. She would only give me a lecture whether it was mainly directed to Dean or the both of us. “He’s out in Topeka.”

“And left you here?” she said in a confused tone, raising an eyebrow. “What kind of brother would do that?” The idiot kind, that’s what.

“We’re on a case there, but Dean insisted on going on his own so I figured I’d drop by and say ‘hi.’”

“Well come in, come in! You two have work that should be getting done, but I can’t turn down company from you, Sam. I’m glad you came because I actually have someone that’s been looking for you for quite some time.”

I gave her a puzzled expression, realizing that I was standing right outside of Missouri’s home. It didn’t jive to me at first, but that would explain why I thought this part of town seemed awfully familiar. And someone was out searching for me? It better not be the FBI. “For me?” I snapped back confusingly. Obviously not my brother…

Missouri led me into her Victorian home filled with all sort of knick-knacks and picture frames, making that house feel alive and welcoming. Memories from the case we had in Lawrence last year started to drown me with an eerie sensation. I never really thought I would return here again, not this soon anyway.

My eyes wondered around the living area as we approached the kitchen where I saw a face that I thought I’d never see again in a million years. She had the same brown hair, blue eyes and still almost a foot shorter than me. I felt like I was having one of those dreams where I never wanted to wake up.

“Riley?” I gasped, jaw nearly dropped to the floor. Riley was a good friend of Dean and I- well, used to be. We hunted together for a little while when we were teenagers, but haven’t seen her since our brutal brawl before I went off to college at Stanford. She smiled lightly she sat calmly at the rickety table across the room.

“Hey Sam,” she said quietly, as I felt completely idiotic just staring at her and not saying anything. What else would you do if you the woman of your dreams before your eyes? Yeah, you heard me. My old girlfriend, Jess, the one who died in a fire just last year was still in my heart, but secretly Riley was always in the back of my mind every time I was with her.

Missouri shuffled uneasily, stating “I’ll leave you kids alone to catch up. There’s cookies on the table and coffee on the counter, so help yourself.” And with that she walked out of the room, leaving me with the appealing brunette alone. I just couldn’t believe that Riley would be looking for me. My brother and I had argued endlessly with her about stupid things, which was the reason she left us behind and now she’s here?

I was slightly cautious to sit in the chair across from her, even if my feet were killing me on my never-ending journey but her warm, vibrant smile seemed to let know that she wasn’t angry with me, at least for the time being. I decided to just press my back up against the wall behind me, crossing my arms over my torso serenely. She really did light up a room with that smile. I only wished that what happened in the past stays in the past, something which my brother had told me numerous times about Jess. “So, I hear you were looking for me?” I said casually with a small grin across my face.

“Yeah,” she replied shortly, “You and Dean.” Why does everything have to go back to Dean? This did begin with the three of us so of course this was going to be uncomfortable for me.

“Oh…” I really wished she hadn’t brought Dean up. I was actually pushing that anger behind me, but I guess when you’ve been around each other for so long things just tend to come up quite often. “But I thought-”

“It’s the past, Sam. I’m over it.” Well that was a relief, because I’m not sure I am. “Where’s Dean?”

I gritted my teeth at the sound of his name, gulping gradually as I felt a ping of nervousness within the pit of my stomach. “You don’t want to know.”

“No, I do. Sam, just by the look on your face I know that you two are fighting again. You can’t keep doing this to yourselves.” Wow, she was good- too good.

“What do you mean?”

“Like you don’t know; Sam, you two have bickered non-stop and most of the time it had to do with me- that’s why I left in the first place. I couldn’t see you brothers fighting over me like that. I take full blame every day.”

"But Ri-"

"No Sam, don't. If I hadn't have shown up in your lives, we never would have gone through this. I probably shouldn't have came back, but this is important."

My heart stopped, flashing back to all the cruel fist fights Dean and I had when Riley was still in the picture. Riley is a very attractive woman; any man would fight to have her. My brother and I just happened to be the suckers to practically kill each other to be with her.

“So, are we going to go find him or not?” For some reason I had a feeling I was going to cave in to her reassurance; it was her damn good looks and determination that kept me from telling her no.