Passenger Seat

“Do you want us to be okay?” He said in a soft tone after a few moments a silence.

“I-I uh I don't know Ken.” I also said softly, I hated this part of the relationships.

“W-what do you mean you don't know? I love you Blake, and I want to be with you.”

I let out a soft sigh hoping he didn't hear me, I rolled my eyes and threw my head back. I had all these thoughts running around in my mind that I felt like I was going to explode and I did.

“You know what Ken? I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry but I just, I just don't have the same feelings.” It felt good to say that, I’ve kept that in and I finally just let it out. But what he just said made it all seem all so real.

“So were done? That's what you want?” He said it in such a harsh tone that it made me feel really bad and actually getting to that point that me and him were over seemed insane. Kennedy and I had been dating and best friends for as long as I could remember and now things were going to be completely different.

“I guess so.” I said softly, I had a few tears strolling down my face. I might of wanted this break up but it still hurt.

“I'll see you when you get back I guess.” and with that he hung up the phone. I stayed out in the hallway of the motel me and John were staying at. I collected my self, stopped the crying and tried my best to compose myself so it didn't look like I was going through anything.

I slide my key in and opened the door, luckily John was still asleep. I quietly went through my bag to get an outfit out and went into the bathroom. I slid on my clothes and applied some makeup onto my face. I heard some foot steps coming from the main room, I opened up the door slowly and peeked out, I saw John pulling up his jeans, while being shirtless. He bent over to grab his shirt from the ground and pulled it over his head. He was starting to turn so I quickly but quietly so he wouldn't see or hear me. Once the door was shut I stopped for a moment and couldn't help but to smile, I looked at my reflection in the mirror and saw a small blush across my cheeks. I finished up my make up with the smile still plastered on my face and joined John back in the bedroom.

“Morning.” he said in a tired voice.

I let out a small laugh, “Good morning to you too.”

I walked over to my bag to put my stuff away. I stood back up and faced John waiting for him to make a plan or to just say something.

“Lets go get food I'm starving.” He said as he stood up and looked over at me, I nodded my head and kept on smiling. For someone who just broke with their boyfriend, I was in a pretty good mood.

*

“These are like the best pancakes I've ever had.” John said with a mouth full of food. I couldn't help but to laugh when he was trying to put more pancakes in even though is mouth was full.

“Your going to choke on your food if you put anymore in and talk at the same time.” he stopped for a moment and put done his fork and chewed his food and I still couldn't stop.

“So your in a good mood today.” He finally swallowed his food.

I just looked up at him and shrugged my shoulders. “Yeah I guess I am.”

“Any reason?”

I took a second to think of a good way to say this so I just flat our said it, “me and Kennedy broke up this morning.” I said it as if it wasn't that big of a deal.

I saw his eyes widened and his mouth fall open a little. “What?”

“Yeah, we were talking on the phone and I just broke it off.” I took a bite of my own pancakes and looked around the restaurant. I felt his eyes on me, I felt his angry that I broke up with one of his best friends but if he was in my position he would do the same.

“I should call him, see if-”

“No! That'll just be weird.” I said as I cut him off.

“He's my best friend and band mate I should check up on him.” He lifted his body off of the chair a little so he could take out his phone.

“Please John not now, lets just finish up breakfast and get on the road.”

He looked up from his phone and let out a sigh. “Fine, but I'm calling him later.”

“Fine.”

We finished our breakfasts in the quiet, I didn't understand why he was so mad, this was between Kennedy and I, John didn't know what I was going through when I was with Kennedy, he didn't understand, know one did.

When the check came John didn't insist to pay for my food, I paid for my own meal. We got into the car and we drove off. The music started to play once the car was started, as we got onto the highway John leaned forward to turn it up the volume. He had both his hands on gripping the wheel pretty tightly, I didn't understand why he was acting like this. The music was to loud for me to talk over, and I was afraid to turn it down. I just sat in silence listening to one of Johns random mix CD's.

It was an hour into the drive when I started to get antsy and bored. I took out my phone so check if I had any messages and to check my face book and email. Both Garrett and Pat texted me, I guess they heard the news about me and Kennedy. They both basically said the same things, saying to text them, asking if I was alright and of course what had happened. I didn't feel the need to talk about this to anyone. This was all between me and Kennedy and I didn't feel right discussing it.

“I just don't get it.”

I turned my head towards John and gave him a confused look. “What?”

“Why did you and Kennedy always get into fights? Why were you unhappy?”

I let out a sigh and looked down at my folded hands that were in my lap. “I don't know.” I said softly.

“So one day you just weren't happy and wanted to break up?”

“Well no it happened over time. People fall out of love John.”

“But you guys have been best friends forever it's just weird that this is happening.”

“Maybe were just fit to be friends.” I said in a harsh tone. I didn't want to talk about this at all.

“Maybe you just need a break. Once we get home you'll see how much you missed him.” I knew that wouldn't happen, I knew I needed a break but it needed to be longer than a week away, it needed to be for forever.

“Or maybe I wont. Can we just drop this topic, I don't want to talk about it.” I slouched into the seat, I put my feet on the dashboard and crossed my arms over my chest.

He stayed quiet but leaned forward to turn up the music. I wasn't big on talking about my problems. I was strong enough to take care of my own problems. I don't understand why it was such a big deal.

We drove for the rest of the day into the night. We finally made it to California and my mood was changing. John pushed my buttons and I was upset about talking about Kennedy and I's breakup but being in California changed everything. I always wanted to come here and start my life. I wanted to live at the beach and be free with life.

I sat up and looked over at John with a huge smile on my face. He looked at me also and gave me a smile. He turned off the music that was playing and asked if I was hungry. All I wanted was to go to the beach and feel the ocean. He nodded his head and kept on driving.

John and the boys had been to California a bunch of times from being on tour and recording their albums, so I trusted him that he knew where he was going.

We finally pulled up to a parking lot and stayed put for a moment. He looked over at me with a semi serious facial expression.

“Are you ready to feel the ocean?” After say that he grew a smile and let out a small laugh.

“Are you joking me? I've been ready. Lets go.” I opened up my door and John did the same. As we got to the closer to the sand and further from the parking lot, I felt John grab a hold of my hand. I didn't look up at him but it felt nice. We got the sand and kicked off our shoes, John tried his best to pull up the bottom of his pants so they wouldn't get so wet. When he was done, he looked over at me and gestured his hand for me to take. We walked down to the shoreline, hand in hand and put our feet in the cool water. I closed my eyes and took everything that was happening. I was glad I was here with John.

The waves kept coming up and crashing into our feet but I wanted more. I wanted to feel it and swim in it. I looked over at John and he questioned my smile. My hand let go of Johns and both my hands went to the bottom of my shirt and I peeled over my head. I was still left in my bandeau and my shorts but my shorts wouldn't be on that much longer.

“No B, I don't want to go in.” John whined out.

“Oh come on, you know you do.” I started to take off my shorts and threw them to the side along with my shirt. I was now left in my boy short underwear and bandeau. I grabbed Johns hand and started to lead him more into the water. He pulled back and made it hard for me to pull him in. I turned to him and gave him puppy dog eyes, which made him shake his head back and forth.

“Please, just one quick swim.”

“We'll go to the beach tomorrow and we'll swim then.” he let go of my hand and turned around but I sneaked up and grabbed him around his thin waste.

I slide my hands down to the button of his pants and started to unbutton them and unzip the jeans. He turned around and faced me. I gave him a smile and tugged on his jeans more. He looked down at my hands and then looked back up into my eyes. It felt like everything had slowed down. He took my hands away and finished taking off his pants and then took of his shirt and joined me in the water.

The water was cold but it felt good. I dunked my head under the water and swam around a little. We splashed each other with water and joked around. This moment right here it felt like there wasn't a care in the world. Everything felt so freeing and I was happy. I might of broken up with my boyfriend earlier today but it was what I had to do and know one will understand that.

“I'm glad were here.” John said as we calmed down and just floated in the water.

“I am to. Thanks for bringing me here.”

“No problem.” We stayed quiet for a moment and then John spoke up again. “So are you happy that you and Kenny are done now?” I looked over at him and thought for a moment and then nodded my head.

“I am. He was just, he was bringing me down.”

“I don't get why though.”

“Why does it matter? Everything is in the past now, lets just drop it.”

John raised his hands as if he was surrendering and let the subject be. I didn't want to get in a fight or even get into this whole thing because I wanted to forget everything and be free.