Passenger Seat

“Why is it so cold?” I couldn't help but to say it in a whiny voice. I rubbed my hands over my arms, I felt the hair sticking up and the goosebumps. John started to shrug off the sweater he was wearing and put it across my shoulders. I slid my arms through the arm sleeves and felt comfortable.

“Are you better now?” John asked.

“Yes I am, thank you very much.” He looked down and just laughed.

“Where are we going? And why do you have two towels”

“Just hold on, trust me it'll be fun.” I nodded my head and we kept on walking. We walked on a side walk while cars drove past us. There were so many boutiques and antique shops around the town. Signs were lit up to dinners and coffee shops. People were walking around, couples holding hands and enjoying life, I wish that was me. Kennedy and I use to be like that, we use to walk around not caring who was around to see us sneak little kisses. We held on to each other as if something was about to happen and we didn't want to lose the other one. There was one time when we were at the mall and we thought we were so cool that we put our hand in the back pocket of the others jeans and walked around. It felt weird having people looking at us but we were in love. Was I still in love with Kennedy? Yes, but not like how I use to, I was young and blind, I didn't see the real world and I didn't see that me and Kennedy would just never work out.

We took a left onto another street and more and more people were walking in the same direction. There was a huge park, people were sitting around on blankets and it looked like they were waiting for something.

John stopped and looked around the area and started to walk in a different direction.

“Is this good?” he asked me.

“Uh s-sure I don’t know.”

“It'll do I suppose.” I didn't know what he was talking about but I just went with it. He handed me one of the towels, he through up the one in his hands and put it neatly on the ground. I followed his actions and placed my towel next to his. He sat on his towel and patted my towel telling me to sit down next to him.

“Whats going on?” I asked again

“What did I tell you? Just hold on.” I couldn't wait anymore. I wanted to know what was going on. I wanted to be apart of the fun, I just wanted to know.

“Do you want a snack or something?” he asked.

“Oh um sure.”

“Okay I'll be back.” I watched him get up off his towel and walked over to a table with many sweet goods. He talked to the older lady who was behind the table. I couldn't help but to smile and Johns politeness. I turned back around and looked around. Watching everyone sitting on their blankets, kids running around with their friends, screaming and laughing. I wish my life was this easy, this fun and I was able to have that kind of smile those kids had on. I pulled out my phone to check my messages. There was no surprise that Kennedy tried calling and texted me telling me to call him.

“Babe please call me. I love you. was all he texted me. It made me feel guilty that I was hurting him, but I wasn't doing anything wrong. I was just trying to get my life back.

“Hey, so I got some m&m's and the old lady gave me two free cookies.” John said as he came up and sat down next to me. I turned off my phone and put it next to me.

“Is everything okay?”

I gave him a smile and nodded my head. “Yeah, everything is great.” I snatched the m&m's out of Johns hand and gave me a playful smile.

“So when will whatever is happening, happening?” I asked as I put some M&M's in my mouth. John looked at his watch.

“In a few minutes. It's almost 8 o'clock.” I couldn't wait anymore. I wanted to know what was happening. What we were waiting for.

“Can I ask you something? If I step to far, you don't have to answer.” John looked serious and my smile fade and I nodded my head to me.

“Why were you talking to your dad like that on the phone?” I stayed quiet for a moment, trying to think of a way to explain this to John.

“My dad and I aren't on the great terms, we haven't been since well, since my mom died.” I looked away from Johns eyes that were filled with sadness. “He became an alcoholic and smokes and just were always fighting and we don't see eye to eye anymore.”

John slowly nodded his head as if he had nothing to say, which he probably didn't because his life was perfect.

“Why did he change?”

“He beats himself, he feels like he didn't do a good enough job keeping our mother alive. He turned to alcohol and it's hard to be home, when he's like that.”

“I'm sorry you have to go through that.”

I looked back at John and watched his eyes trace over my face and stare into my eyes. “You might have a few tiffs with your family but you have it easy, you still have a loving family.” my eyes started to tear up, I hated when people saw my breaking down. I never talked about my family because I didn't want them to see me so vulnerable.

The lights that were around us dimmed down and a huge screen was now noticeable. A big projection behind us was shining onto the screen making images.

I looked over at John with a huge smile on my face. I was still wondering what was going to be shown.
A black and white movie started to play and it was recognize but i couldn't think of the name until the title of it came on the screen.

The Wizard of Oz when I read the title I started to clap my hands lightly and got really excited.

“This is amazing, how did you know?”

“I saw a sign for it while we were driving around. Are you happy that you waited to find out?”

“Yeah I guess so.” After that we hushed up and watched the movie in front of us.

It was about 30 minutes into the movie when I scooted closer to John and leaned my head against his shoulder. He leaned his head on top of mine.

“Are you cold? Do you want your sweater back?” I ask softly, looking up at him.

“No you can keep it. It looks nice on you.” I looked down at the sweater that was hanging off of me and smile back up at him. He put his arm around my shoulders and pulled me closer, I scooted so our thighs were touching now. I leaned more onto him so my head was on his chest.

I started to scoot lower so my head as on Johns lap and I stretched my legs out in front of me. I looked up at John and he gave me a soft smile and then looking back up at the screen which I did the same. He started to run his fingers through my hair, I looked up at him but he didn't look at me, he just kept rubbing my hair. I started to close my eyes and relax.

“Hey, come on lets go back to the motel.” I head John say softly. I shook my head and started to smile.

“If you're going to fall asleep then lets go back.” He said as he lightly shook me.

“No no, I’m fine. I'm just resting my eyes.” I heard john stifle a laugh. He went back to playing with my hair. I didn't fall asleep but the I was close to it. I didn't have to watch the movie I've seen a million times since I was a little child. It was one of those movies that always made me think about my mother, we use to always watch it and wish we were Glinda the good which of the North. We'd dress up in a big puffy dresses, and we bought tiara's and we would dance around.

“Rae, come on, you're falling asleep.” John snapped me from my thoughts or maybe it was a dream. I opened up my eyes to see John looking down at me. I nodded my head and we got up and rolled up our towels and started to head back.

We were on the side walk, walking back to the motel, I grabbed Johns hand and squeezed his palm. He looked at me and I was already looking at him.

“This was fun. Thank you.”

“No problem. It was fun, I gotta say, The Wizard of Oz is one of my favorite movies.” I started to laugh, I would have never of thought that about John.

“Hey, it's a classic, you can't hate Judy Garland.”

“I can't disagree with that.”

The walk was short. We arrived to the motel with nothing to do. We were in the room laying on our beds with the lights off.

“Are you awake?” I said softly just in case he wasn't.

“Yeah, I can't sleep.”

“Same.” I leaned over and turned on the light so I could see John. He was laying on his side facing the other way, he turned and was looking at me, he propped his head up with are hand. His blanket was down by his waist and he was shirtless.

“Turn on the T.V. And see if there's anything good on.” John pointed to the remote that was on the table in between our beds. I grabbed the remote and went to the channel guide.

“Oh Jeepers Creepers is on, turn to that.” John said in excitement. I looked over at him with scared eyes.

“Uh no thank you.”

“Oh come on, it's not that scary.”

“Can I sit in your bed with you?” He looked from the T.V. to me and slightly nodded his head. I hurried to his bed and go underneath the covers and snuggled up to John. He laughed at how scared I was but I couldn't handle scary movies.

“Your such a baby.” John said as I had my fingers fanned out over my face.

“Shut up. I told you I hate scary movies.”

“But it's not even that scary.”

“I'm sorry I'm not so manly like you.”

The commercials were over and the movie was back over. It was getting late but I was still wide awake and after watching this movie I didn't want to go to sleep. I kept looking over at the clock trying to figure out when the movie would end. By the time the clock struck 2:30 the credits rolled on the screen. I looked up and saw John staring at me.

“Are you ready for bed now?” He said. I shook my head with wide open eyes. I was to scared to fall asleep. I sinked down lower into the covers and covered my face with them.

“I'm scared.” I muffled out.

“Don't worry nothing will hurt you.”

“I'm still scared.”

“If you want you can sleep in my bed with me.”

I pulled the blanket away a little from my eyes so I could see him.

“Are you sure?”

He nodded his head and leaned over to turn off the lights. He lowered his body down into bed and covered himself with the blankets.

“Night.” He said.

“Night John.”

I could barely see John, the moon was shining into the room and shining over onto John, I saw his silhouette but no detail to him. I couldn't fall asleep not because I was scared but because sleeping next to John felt different. I've slept with many boys in the same bed before. Pat, Garrett and I have had many sleep overs, where we would make a huge bed on the floor and I slept in between them. But this wasn't like this.

“John.” I said really softly, I wasn't even sure I actually said anything but I saw his eyes open, staring at me.

“Mhm”

“Oh uh never mind.” I backed out of what I wanted to ask, I wasn't even sure if I had a question in mind, I think I just wanted to talk. I didn't want to fall asleep I just wanted to stay up and talk to John, but I got scared and backed out.

“Goodnight B.” For some reason I had to intention to fall asleep tonight. Being in this bed with John made my stomach turn and I couldn't help but to just look at John as he fell asleep. I heard his soft breathing, he turned around a little and got comfortable, but he was still facing me. I pushed away all thoughts of Kennedy and my struggles at home away, all I thought about was me and John and this get away trip. I wanted to remember this trip for as long as I could.