Carpe Diem

I spent the rest of the day worrying, it was the worst way to spend a day, but I did it anyway. I didn’t even know what I was truly worried about because it was such a great three-way line up of a tour, but I don’t know, there was something, and I couldn’t put my finger on it.

“Something’s bothering you.” Hayden stated as she sat next to me on the porch.

I sighed and wrapped my arms a little tighter around Kade for support, who had his arms around my neck, asleep.

“I’m just worried, I don’t know what it is, but something’s worrying me.” I said quietly.

“Something about the tour, you mean?”

I nodded in response.

“Do you think it could be possibly seeing Adam again after everything?” She questioned.

Realisation hit me like a ton of bricks. I didn’t know why I hadn’t realised it before.

“That’s probably it.” I sighed.

“Well I mean it’s been four years, I’m sure everything’ll be different now.” She said as she placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“I hope so, but I can’t help but worry, considering I left so suddenly and still to this day feel quite guilty, you know?”

“I understand what you mean Taylor but come on, you have me, Kade, Collin, not to mention the rest of Hit The Lights AND Matt, Lidia and everyone else, plus we get to see A Rocket To The Moon.” She grinned.

I grinned back, Hayden always knew how to make me feel better.

“I guess you’re right, we’ll have a good time regardless.” I chuckled.

“Of course we will, you have me, remember?” She winked.

I rolled my eyes as I removed one of my hands slightly from Kade in order to push her.

She flipped me off playfully and looked down at Kade who began to stir slightly.

“I know I say this a lot, but you have one gorgeous kid.” She grinned.

“That he is, if only his dad wasn’t such an ass, though.” I sighed as I played with Kade’s hair gently.

“You don’t need him, Taylor. Neither does Kade, you have all of us, especially Collin, I’ve never seen someone bond with a kid so much that wasn’t their own.” She chuckled.

“I know, it‘s unbelievable, Collin’s been so amazing, Kade really looks up to him. Speaking of Collin, what’s going on with you two now?” I winked.

Hayden turned red yet again.

“Nothing, as I said, it was just a kiss.” She stated.

“Hayden come on, we both know there’s more to it than that. You‘ve already told me you like him, so do something about it.” I laughed.

“I don’t know, I mean, it’s not that easy-”

“What’s not easy about it? He clearly feels the same way, Hayden. It’s not like you to back out on anything”

“I just guess this is different.” She sighed.

“It’s really not, Hayden. You know I love you, but you need to stop being so damn hesitant.”

“It’s just that he’s in a band, and relationships with band members hardly work out and-”

“Okay now you’re just being stupid, we’ve been friends with Collin for what, four years? And we both know he’s not the “pretend to love you then leave you” type. Besides that’s not always true with band members, I mean Adam and I hated each other way before he told me he loved me, and as for John and I, that wasn’t even a relationship, so there really is no excuse why you shouldn’t tell him” I stated proudly.

I had a point, though. We both knew Collin was incapable of hurting anyone so she really didn’t have anything to lose, infact, neither of them did.

She stared at me for a few seconds, processing what I’d just said.

I raised an eyebrow sceptically. “Well?”

She sighed. “I guess you’re right.”

“So, are you going to do something about it?”

“I will..just not now.” She smirked.

“There’s really no getting through to you, is there?” I grinned.

“Not at all!” She winked.

“Sometimes I wonder why I put up with you.” I scoffed playfully.

“Well if you didn’t, I’d have no-one else to put up with my bad attitude.” She grinned.

I laughed in response as Kade began to wake up properly and rubbed his eyes with one hand.

“Aunty Hayden!” He exclaimed as he removed his arms from around my neck and outstretched them in front of her.

“Hey Kadey.” She grinned as I moved my arms so she could pick him up off of me.

“Well, I feel loved!” I pouted as I crossed my arms playfully.

“I love you Mommy!” Kade giggled as he wrapped his arms around Hayden’s neck.

“I love you too, kid.” I laughed.

He grinned in response. I’d began calling him kid practically since he was born, before he could speak he used to grin a toothless grin whenever I’d say it to him so it kind of stuck since the beginning really, aslong as he was happy, I was happy.

“He really could put a smile on anyone’s face.” Hayden chuckled as she hugged him tightly.

“Of course he could, he’s my son, he’s just like me in that respect.” I joked.

“Oh really? I don’t think you ever managed to put a smile on Adam’s face.” She said playfully.

“Oh you just had to go there didn’t you?” I said as I stuck my tongue out.

“I couldn’t resist, sorry.” She grinned.

I rolled my eyes playfully and crossed my legs as I looked out at the street in front of me. I loved where we lived, it was the perfect neighbourhood, and it was without a doubt so much better than living in England. I felt like I belonged there, it was like all the puzzle pieces had finally been put together so that I was truly happy. I had everything I could’ve asked for.

“Hey guys, I have some news.” Collin said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Good news I hope.” Hayden chuckled.

“It’s just that we have to go and sort out the tour with Fueled By Ramen tomorrow and wanted to know if you wanted to come along?”

“Sounds good to me!” I grinned.

“Count me in!” Hayden chimed in.

“Sorted!” He grinned as he looked down at Kade. “Hey buddy! Didn’t see you there!” He chuckled as he bent down and picked up Kade off of Hayden who held him up for Collin to take.

“I don’t know what I’d do without you guys.” I smiled.

“Good thing we’ll always be around, then!” Collin laughed as he winked at me.

“Oh, you better be!” I scoffed playfully as I rested my head on Hayden’s shoulder.

“Always.” She chuckled.

I didn’t doubt them for a second.