Carpe Diem

“Mommy, wake up!” Kade exclaimed as he grabbed my arm and started shaking it.

I groaned and opened my eyes slowly, sitting up.

“What’s wrong, Kade?” I questioned as I picked him up gently.

“Uncle Collin and Aunt Hayden are kissing!” He giggled.

WHAT?

I laughed as I ruffled his hair and stood up with him in my arms, walking over to my wardrobe and then placing him down. I opened my wardrobe doors and pulled out a purple hoodie to chuck over my tank top and made my way towards the door with Kade, before I opened it fully though, I spun back around and bent down to his level.

“Okay kid, we’ve got to be extra quiet, can you do that? This mission is in your hands!” I exclaimed as if it were the end of the world.

“O-kay Momma!” He grinned at me.

I sighed slightly as I looked at him, he was a spitting image of John. He looked more like John than he looked like me, he had his hair, his green hazel tinted eyes, everything.

I grinned back and picked him up once more, opening the door quickly with one hand and slid out of it before it closed. I made my way slowly across the top of the stairs and looked at Kade as he turned to face me, placing a finger of my lips to be quiet, I winked in response as he grinned and took each step one by one, being as quiet as possible so I could catch them in the act. I had my suspicions that something would happen between them eventually, but until then they’d always been so shy around each other it was so sweet but so annoying, considering they would have been together years ago if either of them had the guts. I reached the last step and took a deep breath quietly, considering I forgot to ask Kade where they were I assumed it’d be the kitchen. I crept slowly towards the kitchen and walked around the corner into it, catching them in the act.

“Well well well! What’ve we got here, then?” I smirked as they jumped apart.

Hayden turned a deep shade of red very quickly and awkwardly scratched the back of her neck, whereas Collin was trying to look everywhere but my eyes.

“Oh you guys, the game‘s up.” I grinned as Kade giggled.

“Kade! Come here, buddy!” Collin exclaimed as he held out his arms for Kade.

“Incase you hadn’t noticed genius, he can’t walk on air.” I scoffed playfully.

“Mommy, put me down! I want to see Uncle Collin!” Kade whined as he began to wriggle in my arms.

I chuckled and put him down gently as he ran as fast as his feet could carry him into Collin’s arms.

“I saw you!” He giggled as he poked Collin.

Collin just laughed and began spinning Kade around in his arms. I couldn’t help but grin, Collin was the best thing to have happened to Kade, without a doubt.
I turned my attention to Hayden and smirked at her, moving my head slightly as to usher her towards me. She walked over to me slowly, still rubbing the back of her neck.

“Took you long enough.” I laughed as I pulled her arm away from her neck.

“It was only a kiss.” She shrugged, trying to hide her smile.

“Whatever you say.” I smirked once more as I winked at her.

She shoved me playfully and stuck her tongue out, same ol’ Hayden.

“Oh hey, Matt called earlier, I think he just wanted a catch-up.” She shrugged.

“Ah, I’ll call him back later, What time is it, anyway?” I laughed.

“It’s just gone Eleven, god you stay in bed now longer than you ever have.” She chuckled.

“Hey, I’m simply catching up on all the sleep I lost with Kade.” I smirked.

“Nice excuse.” She said as she playfully rolled her eyes.

I grinned in response. I don’t think I would have been able to cope without Hayden over the last few years, she stuck with me through everything, she was practically like family, I would have truly been lost without her.

“I love you, you know that?” I laughed as I hugged her from the side, wrapping my arms tightly around her neck.

“You’ll be killing me if you don’t let go soon!” She smirked as she loosened my grip on her.

“Yeah, but you’ll die happy.” I smirked as I let go completely.

“So you say.” She scoffed.

I gasped. “I am offended! Our friendship is over, Mackay!” I laughed.

“Oh, last name’s now is it, Rubano?” She laughed as she flipped me off playfully.

“Yeah, well-” Before I could finish my sentence though, the door burst open and in came David, Omar, Nick and Nathan.

“HOWDY!” Nathan exclaimed as he ran over to us.

“Yeah, come on in guys, don’t bother knocking.” I scoffed playfully.

“Maybe we should’ve, you’re only wearing a hoodie and shorts.” David smirked.

“Fuck!” I exclaimed as I hid behind Hayden.

“Language!” Collin shouted playfully as he placed Kade on his shoulders.

“He’s only three, he doesn’t know what it means yet!” I retorted.

“Yeah, well…shut up and put some clothes on!” He replied.

“Smooth comeback, Ross.” I laughed.

“Before you two end up in a fist fight on the floor, who’s going to make me food?” Nathan grinned.

“Make food yourself, at your own house, VanDame! You have food!” I exclaimed, peering over Hayden’s shoulder.

“Yes, but I want to eat your food.” He scoffed.

I swear that kid thought with his stomach.

“Well get fu-” I started but Hayden shoved her hand over my mouth.

“I think it’s a little too early in his life for Kade to be learning swear words, don’t you Taylor?” Hayden laughed.

I sighed. This was the only thing I disliked, not being able to swear as much as I wanted to because I didn‘t want Kade to pick up on it, I swore like it was word vomit for years, it was hard trying to control it, I cherished the moments when Kade was in bed or someone was looking after him purely because I could swear freely.

“What’s a swear word?” Kade questioned as he played with Collin’s hair.

I couldn‘t help but laugh. “They’re secret words, baby.”

“Smooth cover-up.” Omar smirked.

I winked in response.

“So, Nathan I’m not making you food, and I have to go and call Matt, so if you’ll excuse me losers.” I grinned as I pulled Hayden along with me in order to keep me covered.

“Oh come on, can’t you just let Hayden move? It’s not like you’re naked.” Nathan grinned.

“Yeah but I might aswell be, especially with all you perverts.” I said playfully as I pulled Hayden along to the bottom of the stairs, then ran up them at the speed of lightning and across the stairway, into my room, closing the door behind me. I chuckled to myself as I made my way towards my wardrobe and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and a black and white stripped long shirt and then a pair of white flats before walking into my bathroom. As I brushed my teeth and sorted my hair out I couldn’t help but sigh as I changed. I’d been left with a permanent reminder of that night. I looked in the mirror as I traced the outline of the thin scar that travelled across my neck with my fingers. It was like that night was meant to stick with me forever, and I hated it, I could never forget about that night as the scar couldn’t allow me to forget, it was constantly there. I pulled my shirt fully over my head and placed my hands each side of the sink.
No-one knew what’d happened in New York except for Hayden, I couldn’t even bring myself to tell Collin, and he was like my brother, that’s how difficult it was for me to speak of it. Fortunately for me the scar on my neck wasn’t that visible so usually no-one asked about it, I wish I couldn’t see it like they couldn’t. I applied my make-up and left the bathroom, placing my shorts on the bed as I slid my arms through the sleeves of the hoodie and then sat down. I picked up my cell and scrolled through my contacts to find the oh so familiar number and pressed the “dial” button.

"Taylor!" Matt exclaimed from the other line.

"Matt!" I exclaimed as I chuckled softly. "What’s up?"

"Guess what guess what GUESS WHAT!” He yelled.

"If I have to guess, we’re going to be on the phone forever and you know it." I laughed.

"That’s true, but I HAVE AMAZING NEWS!" He cheered.

I laughed to myself, my cousin was really something special.

"Really?! TELL ME IDIOT!"

"Well, if you’re going to be rude maybe I won’t tell you!" He scoffed playfully.

"Just spit it out already!" I exclaimed.

"WE’RE GOING ON TOUR!" Matt screeched.

"Seriously?! WHO WITH THIS TIME?!"

I loved when Taking Back Sunday went on tour, they always played with insanely good bands so when the tour was over I’d make Matt invite them all over to New York so we could hang out so I’d be able to meet all of them, it was a tradition that’d been going on over the last few years after I’d left and the more famous they became.

"I actually don’t know yet, but I’ll keep you informed! Considering you’re going to want to meet them after as usual!" He laughed.

He knew me too well.

"Oh Matt, you know me too well." I laughed.

He laughed in response. You could always just come and see us on tour, you know! You’ve not seen us perform since you left and that wasn’t even properly, you need to see your cousin’s mad bass skills!

"You make a good point Rubano, I’ll consider it!" I said as I grinned to myself.

"So you should! How’s Kade? And Hayden?"

"Yeah they’re both good, Kade keeps asking for you, he misses you so much." I laughed.

"How cute! I miss that little ray of sunshine too, anyway I better go Tay, I’ll keep you updated on the tour!"

"Okay Rubano, I’ll speak to you soon! I love you."

"I love you too, Taylor! Bye."

"Bye."

I hung up and sighed as I tossed my phone on the bed. I really missed Matt, every day that went by I’d miss him just a little bit more. I really began to consider seeing them on one show of their tour if they were playing either in Ohio or New York, I mean one show couldn’t hurt, that way I’d get to see everyone again and maybe that little empty feeling that I often felt inside me might disappear for a while. I felt like a little part of me was missing when I wasn’t with everyone, that summer four years ago really did change my life as I’d built relationships and gained an even stronger one which I didn’t think were possible with Matt and now that I hardly saw them it hurt. I got up off of the bed and made my way towards the door, pulling it open and walked out quickly, making my way across the stairway and down the stairs once more. Before I could walk into the kitchen though, Collin ran around the corner and tackled me to the ground.

“Collin!” I groaned as I rubbed my head.

“TAYLOR! YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!” He yelled as he grabbed my shoulders and started shaking me.

“Where’s Kade?” I questioned as I tried to push him off of me.

“Hayden’s taken him outside, but as I was saying, YOU’RE NOT GOING TO BELIEVE THIS!”

“I’m not going to believe what?!” I laughed as I looked up at his grinning face.

“WE‘VE BEEN OFFERED A SLOT ON AN UP-COMING TOUR! It‘s not finalised yet, but we‘ve been offered!” He exclaimed.

“Congratulations! Who are you playing with?!” I cheered.

“Well it’s a three-band tour, A Rocket To The Moon are rumoured to be playing along side us, but besides them, I think we’re playing with Taking Back Sunday!” He grinned.

A lump rose in my mouth. When I said Collin knew nothing about New York I mean’t nothing he didn’t know about us spending the summer there, he didn’t know about mine and Adam’s complicated relationship, he didn’t even know about me being Matt’s cousin, from what I knew he wasn’t a huge fan, I mean he liked them but he wasn’t crazy about them, not crazy enough to put the surname connection together, anyway. I guess I had some sort of weird expression playing on my face because before I knew it he snapped me out of my train of thoughts.

“Taylor? Are you okay?” He questioned as he got off of me.

“Y-Yeah I’m fine, wow, I’m really happy for you guys!” I smiled.

I was happy for them, I was just glad I wouldn't have to be there.

“There’s another thing also.” He said.

“Oh?”

“We want you to come on tour with us, you, Hayden and Kade.”

I always spoke to soon.

“Bu-” Before I could even think of an excuse he interrupted me.

“Taylor, you’ve not been on one tour with us. I can understand why you didn’t before as Kade would’ve been too young, but you promised that the next tour we’d play on you’d come on tour with us, and I’m not going to let you back out.” He stated.

I sighed. He was right, I had promised. Damnit.

“But Collin-”

“Don’t break your promise, Taylor. You’re better than that.”

“Fine, okay, fine.” I sighed as his face lit up.

He winked at me as he ran back into the kitchen screaming about how I’d agreed to go. I shook my head as I chuckled, walking back up the stairs, I thought it were the perfect time to go and let Matt know. Every time Matt had come and visited, or even Matt, Lidia and the rest of the guys, Hit The Lights had always been on tour so they’d never been introduced to each other, I mean they all knew I lived next door to a band, but that was it. I pushed the door to my bedroom open once more and made my way over to the bed, picking up my cell before sitting down genie style.

"God Taylor, we only spoke what, ten minutes ago? Do you really miss me that much?" Matt joked.

"Oh Matt you’re so funny I scoffed. I know who’re you’re playing with on tour."

"How could you possibly know before me?! I only just told you about it! All I know is that it’s a three-way band tour!"

"You’re playing with Hit The Lights, and apparently A Rocket To The Moon, and as for me knowing about it, I live next door to Hit The Lights." I chuckled.

"Who in gods name are A Rocket To The Moon?" He laughed. "As for your neighbour’s band, I’ve heard of them, they’re pretty good, looks like we’re in for a decent tour!" He exclaimed.

"That you are Matthew, That you are." I chuckled.

"Don’t patronise me, wait, does that mean you’ll come and see us on tour?" He asked, hope evident in his voice.

"I promised Hit The Lights I’d go on tour with them on the next tour they did, which happens to be this one, so I’ll be seeing your idiotic face everyday!"

"Oh Taylor you’re so funny I forgot to laugh, but that’s great! I take it you want me not to tell any of the others?"

"Nah don’t tell them, it’ll be a surprise. Feel free to tell them you know a secret though, I know that’ll bug the shit out of Lidia." I grinned.

"That’s very true! Wait, I get the feeling that you‘ve not told any of Hit The Lights about that summer here, or probably not even us being related, knowing you!"

"That’s true, wow, your spidey senses really do work, Matthew." I laughed.

"Yeah well, I’m not the one with a lot of explaining to do!" He retorted.

He was right. I had a lot of explaining to do.

"I really wish you were here so I could hit you right now for your good comebacks."

He laughed in response. "Then I’m glad I’m not there. Anyway, I better go yet again, hopefully I won’t be hearing your annoying voice for the third time today!"

"Charming, Rubano! Charming." I grinned.

"You know I love you really. Anyway, talk to you soon Taylor!"

"Oh, you better do, bye Matt!" I said as I hung up.

I’d say a few seconds after I’d hung up Hayden walked into my room and over to me.

“Well this is going to be interesting.” She said as she sat down next to me.

“Interesting doesn’t cut it.” I chuckled.