Carpe Diem

Telling Jake and Logan about the email and meeting with Fueled By Ramen was without a doubt one of my highlights of that day. Jake practically fainted before coming to his senses in a sense before demanding where Ashton Kutcher was as he figured he’d been Punk’d and Logan got extremely over enthusiastic whilst blurting out endless possibilities, needless to say though, we had something to look forward to even if we had no idea what the outcome would be. As time ticked on I began to feel slightly nervous about performing, I figured it had something to do with The Maine seeing us perform for the first time, needless to say John, and I was determined to make it a slap-to-the-face type of performance for that very reason.

“We’re on first, followed by Taking Back Sunday, The Maine, A Rocket To The Moon, then you.” Colin informed me, taking a seat on my left as I turned around to face him.

“I’m nervous.” I sighed as he let out a laugh.

“Really? I couldn’t tell, especially not by the way you’ve been bouncing your knee up and down for the past twenty minutes.” He said sarcastically as I shot him a glare.

“I miss you,” He said seriously, “We’ve not had any of our usual ‘heart to heart’ conversations on this tour so far and I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot, we’re long overdue for one.”

I pulled him into a hug as I wrapped my arms around his neck tightly, “I miss you too, we’ll have a catch up tonight, I promise.”

“I’ll hold you to that.” He replied as I smiled before retracting my arms from around him.

“Knock knock.” A voice rang out as Colin and I turned around in unison to be met with the sight of Nick walking towards us.

“I’m going to go and find Hayden, I’m sure she’s raiding the sunglasses stand right about now.” Colin mumbled as I laughed loudly, realising that he was probably right.

He got up, high-fiving Nick as he went before making the short walk through the bus and out of sight.

“Hey stranger.” Nick smiled as he occupied Colin’s previous seat.

“Hey yourself,” I chuckled, “How goes it?”

“It goes.” He responded, rolling his eyes playfully at my choice of wording, “I have a proposition for you.”

“Nick, how many times?” I sighed dramatically, “We’re too young to get married, it just wouldn’t work.”

“Very funny,” He scoffed before elbowing me in the side, “I have a better proposition for you than marriage by far.”

I placed my chin in my hand before leaning my elbow on my knee, “I’m listening.”

“Sing with me.” He grinned.

“That’s it?” I joked, “I think I preferred the marriage proposition.”

“Tough,” He glared playfully, “So?”

“Soooo?” I dragged out, intentionally trying to get on his nerves.

“You’re such hard work,” He sighed, “Will you sing with me?”

I shrugged, “Possibly, if you answer my next question?”

“Which issss?” He smirked as I shot him a faux dirty look.

“Your set is before ours, why do you want me to sing with you? It kind of ruins my plan of making John eat his low opinion of me for our set.” I confessed.

“I had a feeling you’d say something a long the lines of that, which is precisely why I want you to sing with me, it’ll be the first blow then when you perform with Kids From The Summer it’ll hit him even harder.”

“Why do you want to play a part in this? I mean, he’s your friend just as much as I am.” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I know he is, but I, like many of the others don’t like how he’s being towards you, especially how he wants nothing to do with Kade right now, so he deserves it.” He shrugged.

I couldn’t help but smile as I outstretched my arms like a little kid for him to hug me as I couldn’t be bothered to lean forward.

“You can’t be bothered to move to hug me, can you?”

“Nope.”

“Why do I put up with you?” He muttered as he wrapped his arms around me tightly as I did the same.

“It must be the Rubano charm,” I shrugged in a joking manner, “What are we singing?” I asked once we broke apart, looking at him intently.

“You’ll know it when you hear it.”

“Don’t give me that cryptic shit, how can you be sure I’ll know the words?!” I countered.

“If you know all the songs off ‘On Your Side’ which I already know you do as it’s one of your favourite albums, you’ll know.” He replied smugly as I flipped him off.

“So what am I meant to do, stand at the side of the stage through your set until this song miraculously pops up? You’re killing me here.”

“You’ll survive.” He said before standing up, leaning forward and pressing his lips against my forehead quickly and making his way off the bus.

“Lord give me strength!” I exclaimed to myself in the empty bus before getting up and following after Nick.

[&]

Since I had to watch A Rocket To The Moon from the side of the stage regardless, I decided to watch Hit The Lights, Taking Back Sunday and The Maine from there, too. Another thing that added to my already exception nervousness was the fact that Christopher had quickly called me before Hit The Lights went on to inform me that he “forgot to mention in that email that you will be playing on the main stage from now on, good luck.” before hanging up, everyone was definitely out to feed my emotions that day. The strange thing was that before they went on stage, when they were on stage, and when they came off stage Adam didn’t acknowledge me once, which was a relief to me let me tell you, but my relief soon let me confusion, then my confusion left me thinking and over thinking which was completely unnecessary for that moment in time, so I just about managed to push that thought to the back of my mind as The Maine took to the stage. I smiled to myself, singing along to every word of their songs, don’t get me wrong, I despised John, but I loved their music, not to mention every member barr John. As they came off stage to the crowd cheering their name I was met with sweaty hugs from Garrett, Kennedy, Jared and Pat as John lingered behind.

“We’re going to watch A Rocket To The Moon from the crowd, do you want to come?” Garrett asked hopefully as I shook my head before biting my lip.

“I can’t, Gare. I’ll catch you after the last band has played, though.” I said as his crestfallen face turned into a smile once more as he nodded before the four of them minus John walked off.

“Who are the last band, anyway? I’ve never heard of them.” I heard Pat ask the others as they shrugged in response before disappearing out of sight. I couldn’t help but smile slightly, but it vanished once I realised John was still in view.

“Don’t you have merchandise to sell?” John smirked, running a hand through his hair.

“Bite me.” I spat as A Rocket To The Moon made their way onto the stage.

“I wouldn’t get used to this view, it’s for band members, I’m sure a security guard will kick you out eventually.” He said before turning his back on me and following after the others.

“Dick!” I exclaimed after him as I noticed Alex walk straight past John and over to where I was currently stood.

“This is for sure going to knock that smirk right off O’Callaghan’s face.” She said simply before slinging her left arm over my shoulders.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, “What-”

“I know he’s Kade’s dad, Taylor. I figured it out when The Maine arrived on this tour, the resemblance is uncanny, well, to me it is.” She continued, “I don’t think everyone else has though, I’m just smart.” She smirked.

“It was confirmed for me though when Nick went on ranting and raving about John not telling him, even though he didn’t say what John didn’t tell him, I connected the dots.” Alex simply said as she smiled at the sight of A Rocket To The Moon getting cheered on by the crowd.

“All hail the rock chick edition of Inspector Morse.” I joked as she hit me upside the head before chuckling herself.

She removed her arm from around my shoulders as she glanced around quickly before making her way over to a single Microphone that I’d failed to notice before bringing it back over to where I was stood and handing it to me.

“I think you’ll be needing this very soon.”

“You know which song I have to sing on?!” I exclaimed in disbelief, “Why haven’t you told me which one?!”

“That I do, as for the song, trust me, you’ll know.” She said before slinging her arm over my shoulders once more.

“What is it with you Santino’s and your dumbass cryptic messages?” I mumbled as she burst out laughing to what I’d just said, not uttering a single word in response.

“So we’re about to make this last song very special for you lucky people, you’ll find out how soon enough!” Nick announced as the crowd cheered once more, “It’s called Sometimes.”

He shot me a wink just as the song kicked in. I chewed on my lip half out of nervousness and half to keep myself from smiling too much at the song choice as I understood why he wanted me to pay special attention to this song in an instant, and I suddenly realised Nick Santino meant a whole lot more to me than I originally let on.

Nick. Taylor. Both.

"You're standing all alone
Short of breath and tired eyed
You're shaking to the bone
Overdressed and nowhere else to go
Oh, girl I need to know
Let's get you from the cold
I'll help you with your overcoat
I'll never let you go
I need you more than I could ever show you
Tell me now, because I need to know

Everybody needs somebody sometimes (sometimes)
Everybody needs somebody on their mind
So tell me what you want girl
I'll be there to hold you
'Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes

Who are you?
I've never heard so many lies
So tell the truth
The only thing I ever wanted for you
Was to show you
I know you

So now you see
I've finally found a part of me
That you don't need
But needing isn't everything
When you want love
And you want us
You need me

Everybody needs somebody sometimes (sometimes)
Everybody needs somebody on their mind
So tell me what you want girl
I'll be there to hold you
'Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes

"Give it up for Taylor Rubano, Los Angeles!" Nick exclaimed as the crowd cheered before I walked out on stage, a grin plastered to my face.

So, now you see
I've finally found a part of me
That you don't need
But needing isn't everything
You want love
You want us
You need me
You need me

Everybody needs somebody sometimes (sometimes)
Everybody needs somebody on their mind
So tell me what you want girl
I'll be there to hold you
'Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes

Everybody needs somebody sometimes (sometimes)
Everybody needs somebody on their mind
So tell me what you want girl
I'll be there to hold you
Cause everybody needs somebody sometimes!"

I grinned as the crowd cheered even louder after the song finished before glancing over to where I’d noticed The Maine were stood, I think it’s safe to say that if mouths could actually fall off in shock John O’Callaghan’s would have, and I couldn’t help but smirk at that as Garrett, Pat, Kennedy and Jared kept cheering loudly. I turned to Nick and hugged him quickly as Justin, Halvo and Andrew made their way over to us, throwing their arms around Nick and I. Nick whispered a quick “good luck” in my ear before they made their way off stage. I took a deep breath and brought the microphone to my lips.

“What’s up Los Angeles!” I exclaimed, “I seem to be missing the rest of my band.” I said, glancing over to the side of the stage, “Get out here, guys!”

Alex, Logan and Jake ran on stage to a crowd of cheers as I took the opportunity to glance over in John’s direction once more, satisfied with his disbelieving reaction as Kennedy, Garrett and Pat waved at me whilst Jared gave me a thumbs up. I grinned as I made my hands into the shape of a heart the best I could whilst holding a microphone before sending a taunting wink in John’s direction. I’d officially succeeded in making him eat his words. Alex ran to each of us quickly, placing a set list on the ground before making her way over to her microphone as she tuned her bass.

“Los Angeles, you’re looking good!” Jake said into his microphone whilst tuning his guitar.

“How are you liking the bands so far today?! I think it’s only fair you give it up for each of bands, so lets hear it for Hit The Lights!” Alex screamed as the crowd roared.

“Taking Back Sunday!” Logan joined in as the crowd continued to cheer.

“The Maine!” I grinned.

“A ROCKET TO THE MOON!” we all shouted in unison as the crowd began to clap as well as cheer.

“Well from that response, who knows if we’ll match up to their standards.” I laughed, running a hand through my hair and glancing down at the setlist as Alex piped up once more.

Both Sides Of The Story
Lights Out
Easy
Calendar Pages
Carry Me Home

“So we’re Kids From The Summer, we’re a relatively new band, so it’s only fair that we introduce ourselves to you guys, right?”

“I’m Jake!” Jake announced as the majority of the girls in the crowd screamed.

I laughed, “Jake that’s going to take some getting used to, I’m Taylor!”

“I’m Logan!” Logan piped up as a few members of the crowd began to chant his name.

“I’m Alex, now that’s out of the way, lets get this party started!” Alex exclaimed.

“This first song’s called Both Sides Of The Story!”

[&]

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that.” John smirked, removing his sunglasses from his face and placing them on his head as he spoke.

“That’s exactly why your original reaction pleased me so much, the fact that you think so little of me could really hurt if I truly didn’t care.” I scoffed, pushing past him.

He placed his hand on my shoulder roughly as he spun me back around in order to face him as he narrowed his eyes at me.

“Take your hand off me before I kick you in the nuts.” I warned as he removed his hand immediately like it was an automatic reaction for what I said I’d do.

“What do you want from me?” He sighed irritably as he ran a hand through his hair.

“For you to go to hell, John.” I glared as I crossed my arms, “Are we done here? Because I can think of one hundred places I’d rather be right now than stood here talking to you.”

“I think we should be on civil terms with each other, not friends, but civil.” He stated.

I raised an eyebrow, “Oh you do, do you? Well as long as you keep ignoring the fact that you have a son and that he’s going to be around for the rest of this tour I want nothing to do with you.”

“Touché.” He said, rolling his eyes as he ran a hand through his hair yet again, “If that’s the way you want to play it.”

I shot him one last glare as I spun on my heel, only to turn back around quickly as I had one last thing to say.

“It’s his birthday in a couple of days, by the way. Not that you deserve to know, I’m just warning you in advance as I’m sure Kennedy, Garrett, Pat and Jared are going to want to spend time with him so I guess you’ll be alone. Bye, John.” I said before walking off satisfied.

[&]

“Are you ready?” Adam questioned, sitting next to me, leaving no time to place his hand on my leg as he drew circles with his fingers over my acid-wash skinny jeans.

“For what?” I responded, pushing his hand off my leg, which proved as a wasted effort as he did it again anyway.

“Our collaboration.” He stated simply.

“Would you quit it?!” I huffed irritably as I pushed his hand off my leg once again, “You don’t know we’re collaborating as we haven‘t even drawn the names yet, besides, it’s in both of our best interests not to collaborate.”

“Oh yeah? And why’s that?” He said as he closed the gap between us and attached his lips to the side of my neck.

“Because this is wrong, Adam. Just keep your distance from me from now on.” I demanded as I pushed him away.

“But the fun’s only just beginning.” He smirked before pressing his lips against mine rather heatedly.

The bunk curtain was pulled open rather abruptly as Adam disconnected from me like I’d given him an electric shock as both our heads snapped around in unison to try and explain what had just happened to the person who, I’m sure, had seen enough.

“Lidia,” I breathed out, slightly relieved but ashamed all the same.

“Taylor…Adam…I…What the fuck?” She questioned, glancing between the two of us with wide eyes.

“I can explain!” I exclaimed as I elbowed Adam in the side roughly as he cursed, “Adam was just leaving.”

He muttered incoherent words under his breath as he shot a glare in my direction before manoeuvring himself out of my bunk and away from the two of us.

“Lidia I don’t know what to do.” I cried, running a hand through my hair stressfully.

“How long has this been going on?” She asked in disbelief, climbing into the bunk before hastily shutting the curtain.

“A couple of days, I didn’t want any of this to happen, you’ve got to believe me!” I exclaimed, “He just won’t give up, and I-I just can’t stop myself.”

She sighed before pulling me into a comforting hug as I buried my head in her neck.

“You’re not going to tell anyone, are you?” I mumbled, fearing the worst.

“You know me well enough to know I’d never do that to you Taylor, even if it isn’t the wisest thing.”

I moved away from her slightly in order to look her straight in the eye, “I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

“I know you didn’t, believe me when I say I didn’t think it ever would happen, well, not after the whole New York thing.”

I gulped nervously, “The N-New York thing?”

“I mean after you leaving, like I said before he was pretty cut up about it so I assumed something was going on then for him to react that way, and we both know he’s not the most forgiving person.”

“Nothing happened in New York.” I lied through my teeth, even after four years I wanted to keep the fact that Adam had told me he loved me to a minimal of people knowing.

She shrugged her shoulders before gazing at me intently, “Are you going to stop?”

“Stop what?” I replied, twiddling my fingers nervously.

“Stop this, you know, whatever it is that’s going on with you and Adam?”

I breathed in deeply before replying with something I never thought I’d say.

“If he stays away from me yes, but if not, I don’t know how I’ll be able to, I just- I can’t explain it.” I said as I flailed my arms about in the air.

“Where does Nick stand in all of this?” Lidia asked before shooting me an all-knowing look.

“He doesn’t,” I mumbled, “I like him, believe me I do, but I couldn’t end up cheating on him if Adam got in the way which he keeps finding a way of doing so, he deserves much better than me.”

“Everyone can see how much he likes you, Taylor. If I were you I’d just give him a chance as this Adam thing is just complete insanity, you and I both know that, and we both also know that he’ll never end it with Charlie either.”

I raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean he-”

“Taylor, naïve is something you’re not, don’t even let the possibility of Adam leaving Charlie cross your mind, he’s a coward who wants too much at once and expects to get it, you should know that from what you’ve agreed to take part in.”

She was right, she was absolutely right. I’d truly lost my mind.

“Just think about what I’m saying, that’s all I ask.” She said as she rubbed my shoulder comfortingly.

“We slept together, Lidia.” I confessed as I watched her eyes widen in shock.

“Wh-”

“That night you looked after Kade whilst we all partied ridiculously hard, I don’t have any recollection of what happened after a certain time, I’d only realised what I’d done when I woke up next to him in the morning.” I confessed.

“Does anyone else know?”

“Only Hayden besides you, I’ve been trying to tell Matt, but Adam keeps popping up every time I try to so I haven’t had the chance.”

“Why’ve you been trying to tell Matt? He’ll grill Adam alive.” She smirked.

“Exactly,” I laughed, “I’ve been trying to tell him because, I don’t know, I feel like I owe it to him to tell him.”

She nodded before sighing deeply, “This is all too much to take in.”

“You’re telling me, try having to be the one involved, I have no idea what I’m going to do.”

“You’ll figure it out, Taylor. But like I’ve said, please take my words into consideration, I want you to be happy, not partially happy with something on the side that will never amount to something more, but truly happy.”

“I know you do, and I want to be too, it’s just-”

“Taylor, don’t make excuses, you know you’re insane for putting yourself through this.”

“Believe me I know, Lidia,” I stressed, “I…just, it’s Adam, Adam who I’ve got so much messy history with, Adam who I always end up getting tangled up in, in one way or another, Adam who I loved and had feelings for for so long, there’s always going to be something there.”

“Now believe me when I say I know, Taylor. But the question is, is it worth it? Is all this pain, confusion, anger and stress really worth it?”

“When it comes to Adam…I…I don’t know.”