Carpe Diem

“Come on, Taylor! A Rocket To The Moon are about to start!” Hayden exclaimed.

“I’m coming, I’m coming!” I laughed as she tapped her foot impatiently.

Since that awkward moment earlier I’d kept well away from Adam, locking myself in conversation with everyone else so that I wouldn’t have to even think about him and what our first meeting after four years went like. Collin was still watching Kade and had been for hours, I didn’t mind at all, it was nice to have some free time to myself, plus Collin couldn’t get enough of Kade as he was practically his father, except not by blood, and would take any opportunity to spend time with him which made it even better.

“Wow, now that’s what you call a lot of people!” Hayden chuckled as we made our way off of the bus and looked at the crowds of people who’d turned up to the first day of the “Mini Warped Tour” as we liked to call it.

“Now we’re definitely in for a good time.” I laughed as we made our way to the fence, opening the gate for us both to slide through quickly.

As there were so many people and I had no idea in what direction we were headed, I decided to jump on Hayden’s back to see if it’d improve my chances of seeing through the crowd, it did, but only slightly.

“Damn woman, why are you so short?!” I exclaimed.

“Speak for yourself.” She laughed as she pushed her way through the crowd and towards what seemed to be the direction of the stage.

“Hey look!” Hayden exclaimed as she pointed to Matt, Lidia, Fred, Eddie, Mark and Adam who were stood with Nick, Nathan, Omar, David and Collin…who had Kade. I gulped. I wonder if Adam knew. I didn’t know why I was so worried, but I knew how bad it must look. “Oh hey Adam, I walked out when you told me you loved me, got pregnant, and now here we are four years later” it didn’t exactly sound too good.
Before I could protest though, Hayden made her way over to them.

“Hey losers!” I exclaimed as I jumped down off of Hayden’s back.

“Douchebag.” Lidia grinned.

“Dick!” Fred chimed in.

“Hey, don’t be using that kind of language around my favourite kid in the world.” Matt joked as he ruffled Kade’s hair, who didn’t move an inch.

Collin laughed in response. “Do you want to take him for a while?” He questioned.

“Is that okay, Taylor?” Matt asked.

Adam’s eyes suddenly snapped on me, utterly confused.

“Of course it is.” I said awkwardly, still feeling his gaze on me.

“Why woul- oh” Adam started, but as he put two and two together he stopped.

I felt the all familiar lump rise in my throat.

Adam looked away and scoffed to himself. I’d never felt so bad.

“WHAT’S UP NEWARK?!” Nick yelled from the stage, getting screams in reply.

Hayden and I grinned at each other as we grabbed hands.

“Okay so, we’re going to play a song that I expect each and everyone one of you to know!” He chuckled as he pointed to a few people individually in the front row. “Of course I’m kidding, but if you know it, SING ALONG!” He screamed into his microphone as the intro of “Annabelle” kicked in.

Hayden and I started jumping up and down a long with the majority of the crowd.

“You’re staying up just to dance alone!” I sang along.

“I’m dressing down ‘cause I’m tired and I want to go home!” Nick sang.

It was such a great atmosphere, I literally felt like I didn’t have a care in the world. If only that were true, though. It was such a great feeling hearing everyone sing along too, I mean sure I’d been to shows before, but not ones that where you literally felt like part of a family in the musical respect.

“But baby you’re pretty, but I’m pretty sure I’m over you!” Nick sang once more, and I couldn’t help but look at Adam, who was looking at me and then rolled his eyes. It hurt. I couldn’t deny it.

Needless to say the whole of A Rocket To The Moon’s set was incredible, like majorly. I couldn’t remember the last time I had as much fun as I did then, despite how bad I’d felt about Adam only then finding out I had a kid, that was definitely the downer of the day, I just couldn‘t believe that no-one mentioned it to him though, but in a way why would they mention it? Up until I left we hadn’t gotten along. I tried not to dwell too much on how bad I felt and put a smile on my face.

“How amazing was that?!” Lidia exclaimed as she jumped up and down, holding my arms so I’d jump up and down with her.

“SO AMAZING!” I cheered as I jumped up and down with her.

“I’ve got to hand it to them, they’re fucking amazing live.” Matt chuckled.

“I literally can’t wait to see you guys play, I know I’m going to be amazed!” I chuckled as I winked at Matt.

“Amen sister!” Mark laughed.

Kade began to stir.

“Hey buddy.” Matt grinned.

“UNCLE MATT!” Kade exclaimed as he wrapped his arms around his neck tightly.

“Awww!” Fred and Lidia cooed in unison.

“You have THE cutest kid, Taylor.” Eddie smiled.

“I get that a lot, thank you Eddie!” I winked.

“He’s not as cute as me though, huh?” Nathan chimed in as he stuffed his face with sour patch kids.

“Of course not, Nathan. No-one is as cute as you.” I said sarcastically as I grabbed his cheek.

“Kill the sarcasm, wench!” He protested as he swatted my hand off of his face and rubbed his cheek.

I couldn’t help but steal a glance at Adam, who wasn’t paying any attention at all, he was too busy playing on his phone, not that I expected anything different.

“We’ve got an hour to kill before we have to set up, I take it you guys are playing after us today?” Collin asked Adam.

“I think we’re playing a little later than you guys, I think we’re playing at five.” Adam smiled.

“Ah okay. Change of plan, we have an hour to kill before our set, then about two on top of that for you guys” Collin chuckled.

“So much time!” Hayden laughed.

“I need a catch-up with Taylor, so I’m going to spend some time with her, is that okay?” Lidia asked Matt.

“Yeah that’s fine, do you want me to look after Kade a little longer, Tay?” Matt questioned.

“Nah it’s okay, I’ll take him for a while. Thanks Matt.” I grinned.

“See you later buddy!” Matt said, kissing Kade on the cheek.

“Love you Uncle Matt!” Kade giggled as Matt handed him over to me as he wrapped his arms around my neck.

“I’ll see you a bit later then?” Collin said as he walked over to me and hugged me.

“Spend some time with Hayden.” I whispered in his ear.

He chuckled in response and rolled his eyes as we broke apart.

“I’ll see you later, guys!” I grinned.

“Bye Taylor!” They all said in unison, it was quite freaky really. Well when I say “all” I mean everyone except Adam, who just nodded as if to say “bye” that way.

“Lets go somewhere quiet?” She suggested.

“How about we go and sit nearer the buses? That way we can actually hear each other and we won’t be mobbed” I chuckled.

“Sounds good!” She laughed as we made our way through the masses of people and headed for the fence, unlocking the gate and slipping through it quickly.

We both made our way through where the buses were parked and decided to sit on a decent sized section of grass that was growing a distance behind them, considering it’d be a lot more comfortable than sitting on rubble.

“I take it Matt let it slip that I’d be here? Considering he is a blabber mouth and you didn’t attack me?” I laughed.

“He’s no good at keeping secrets, but I’m still so glad to see you though!” She grinned.

“As am I! So, how’ve you been?” I asked as I sat down, placing Kade next to me.

“I’ve been good, great, actually!”

“Now that I’m glad about.” I grinned.

“What about you?” She questioned.

“I’ve been okay.” I said reassuringly.

“I take it you’re still not getting any help from Kade’s father?” She asked.

I’d only told Matt who was Kade’s father out of that section of my “family” as I liked to call them, I didn’t want to turn anyone against John, I mean sure he was a complete prick, but even I wasn’t that cruel.

“Of course not, that’d be a miracle.” I said bluntly.

She rubbed my arm reassuringly.

“You don’t need him, you have us, all of us.” She smiled.

I smiled back in response. She was right.

“You know, he reminds me of someone.” She said as she studied Kade.

“Who?” I questioned. I didn’t think she’d see it.

“Don’t laugh at me, but he kind of reminds me of John O’ Callaghan, I know it sounds stupid.” She laughed.

“I don’t think it sounds stupid.” I chuckled.

If she worked it out she worked it out, that’s all there was to it. I wasn’t prepared to lie.

“He’s a spitting image of him, Taylor. It’s uncanny.”

“What’s wrong with looking like someone who you claim is attractive?” I grinned, trying to push her away from the subject.

“He is!” She laughed. “But Taylor, you can’t say he doesn’t look like him, he looks exactly like him.”

I didn’t say a word.

“He’s the father, isn’t he?” She questioned, looking me in the eyes.

I sighed and nodded.

“Taylor, I’m not mad you didn’t tell me, I’m mad because you have a kid with the love of my life!” She screamed as she hit me in the arm.

“Don’t let Matt hearing you say that.” I laughed.

“Eh, it doesn’t matter, he knows about my love for John.” She winked.

I couldn’t help but grin. I’d missed it. I missed being around Lidia as much as I was in New York, I couldn’t wait to spend the three weeks with her more than anyone. I liked having someone else around that I could talk about anything and everything with and not be judged, not that anyone of my close friends would judge me, but you know what I mean, it was nice.

“How was Adam with you?” She asked.

I was hoping she wouldn’t bring Adam up.

“Blunt, as always.” I chuckled half-heartedly, trying to play it off.

“Really? Wow.” She said, genuinely surprised.

“Why? Were we meant to get along?”

“No it’s just, well he seemed pretty cut up about you leaving, we’re all clueless why, though.”

“Oh? that’s weird.” I lied.

“Can you believe he’s actually found someone decent and not fucked it up yet?” She laughed.

“I know, it’s very surprising.” I scoffed.

“He has changed though, Taylor. I don’t know why he changed and what the reason was behind it, but he has.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it.” I shrugged.

I didn’t hold my breath.