The Town's Been Talkin'

An early start to the day was what I needed, or I tried to think so. I didn’t get much sleep which wasn’t a surprise. I took a hot shower and tried not to think of yesterday’s troubles. But it only came back to my head worse than before, it made my stomach twist and turn. I didn’t know if I could handle this kind of pain. Once I was clothed and ready I headed out to the venue, there weren’t a lot of people around. And I was fine with that.

I walked over to the boxes that held The Maine’s merch, and started to set up the table. I grabbed the cloth and set it over the table and started to get to work setting up the board. I noticed people were starting to show up, the stage crew, the sound tech guys but not the band yet. Again I was fine with that. I managed to set up the board and put it against the wall.

“There you are!” I heard John say rather cheerfully. “I was beginning to worry when you didn’t answer your door.”

“I obviously have been here.” I gestured to the board and table.

“And perfect as always if I may add.” I felt his arms snake around my waist, bringing my closer to his rather comfortingly and warm chest.

My arms stayed at their sides but my head was pressed against his chest, he caught on this and lowered his head towards my own, “What’s the matter?” He asked.

I shook my head and moved away from him, I grabbed a few shirts from the box that was set on the table and started to fold them, as if they needed to be. “I hate this,” I mumbled and hearing the rest of the guys’ voice. They didn’t look my way and my instant though would be they knew. “Fuck.” I cursed and tossed the shirts into the box.

“Selene,” John said softly, “Cheer up, babe.”

“Cheer up? How can I cheer up when my brother thinks I’m easy and not to mention the rest of the guys now know.” I sort of snapped.

“Look, no one knows. It’s between the three of us.”

“And Garnett,”

I heard John sigh rather deeply. “Well him too, but doesn’t give him the right to say shit.”

“Do you care about me, John?” I asked and looked up at him.

“Of course I care for you,”

“Are you sure? This isn’t just one of your games so you don’t look like a jackass?” I asked again and crossed my arms over my chest.

“What the fuck,” John said sounding already annoyed. “What are you even getting at?”

“I want to know what we have is real and not some bullshit that I’ll regret later.”

“Why are you acting like this?”

“I’m not acting any way, I’m just curious.” I said lightly and kept my eyes on John who looked like he was about to explode.

“The other day we’re pretty much in this I love you, I care for you crap, now this.” He said and shook his head slightly. His eyes were burning uncomfortably into my own.

“I just don’t want this to be a mistake.”

John didn’t say anything but just stared at me, the expression that was on his face wasn’t easy to read. He brought his hands to his face and let them slide down his face, his eyes managed to stay on mine through the whole movement.

“See, this is why I didn’t want you to tell your brother,” He finally spoke. “Because you’re going to start questioning me, you’re going to start doubting every fucking thing I do. I’m pretty sure if I say I love you, you’ll turn it into something more than what it has to be.” I didn’t have a chance to speak because he was talking again, “Selene you’re going to have to think hard about this. I’m not going to prove myself because you know how I feel.”

I watched as he walked away from the merch table and headed towards the stage. I stood there staring at the spot he once stood in. I tried to realize that I was being stupid, that all I wanted to do was get John back and tell him how sorry I was for doubting. But there was the fear and worry of falling and falling hard. I didn’t want to get screwed over; I didn’t want my brother to be right. I was finding it hard to keep the emotions in, I needed to talk to someone, and I needed my brother.

The guys went on for their sound check and I took everything I had to not look at John. I lost to the fight and was staring at him. The way his lips move, or the curl at the end of them, his arms either holding the stand of the microphone or the guitar, either way he looked amazing. I sighed a bit when he finally looked at me but looked away a second later.

I headed towards the back and grabbed John as he stepped off the stage; I grabbed his arm and pulled him off to the side. “I’m really sorry,” I said and looked up at him, and let go of his arm finally. “I’m just scared; I don’t want this to end badly… I don’t want to get hurt…” I started to explain.

“You’re scared? I’m scared. I can lose you at any moment. We didn’t really have a great start and I’m sure there’s going to be a guy who can give that amazing start.” John said I saw the frown on his face.

“I don’t want that guy, I want you.” I said and placed my hand on his arm again.

“But…”

“I want you.” I repeated and nodded to give it some reassurance. “I just got scared for that moment; I don’t want my brother to be right.”

“Then we’ll show him.” John whispered and pressed his forehead to mine, I instantly got that warm feeling in the pit of my stomach and I grew nervous again. I missed it and it felt right again. “We’ll get through this together, it doesn’t matter what your brother thinks or say. Same goes for the rest of the guys.”

I knew John was right, he always seem to be in the worst of times. My brother was going to get over this; even if he still saw me differently I was hoping he didn’t treat me differently. Maybe I just had to stop worrying about everything and let go. Enjoy my time with John and not let the small things ruin this. I buried my face into his shoulder a bit, and let my hands rest on his sides.

“I’ll catch you…” I heard him whisper into my ear, I smiled a bit and nodded.