You Lost Me, You Left Me

517. That’s how many days it’s been since I walked away from John at Warped. 517. That roughly amounts to a year and five months. That was also the last time I talked to John or even saw him… well saw him in person that is.

All that was about to change though because I had just passed the “Tempe Welcomes You” sign. After a year and five months I was finally home.

So many things had happened since that day I packed my bags and headed for Phoenix. I once again entered in the Miss Arizona pageant and won it this time around. After that I packed my bags a second time and moved out to New York where I competed in the Miss America pageant. After dreaming of it for 15 years I was finally crowned Miss America. I could hardly believe it. I just wish John had been there to share it with me. After that my life became a whirlwind of press conferences, charity events, and public appearances. I even got my own apartment to live in for the year. This year’s Miss America pageant had just taken place a few days earlier and I crowned the new winner, meaning I had to move out of the apartment and finally go back home.

The boys had been busy these past 517 days also. They toured even more and released their second full length album, Black and White. I ended up buying it, I couldn’t help myself. John was like my addiction and I refused to see him anymore so his voice would have to be my fix. I don’t know if buying the cd was such a good idea though. Even over a disk I could hear the apparent pain in John’s voice. I could also tell that many of the songs were either written about me or with me in mind. Some of the lyrics that I assumed were about me had an almost mean and bitter edge to them but most of them showcased John’s sadness.

My phone suddenly rang breaking my train of thought.

“Hello?” I answered.

“Parks! Are you back in Tempe yet?”

“Hey Jared. Yep, I just passed the supermarket. Tempe hasn’t changed since I left.” I chuckled.

“Tempe may not have changed but the people have.” Jared said.

I sighed and said, “Please don’t start Jared. Walking away without even saying goodbye to you guys was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.”

“I know Parks. We all missed you so much though… especially John.”

“Well I didn’t just disappear completely. I talked to you, Pat, Garrett, and Kennedy on the phone all the time. Plus you guys came to the Miss America pageant to support me.”

“He came to that, you know.” Jared said.

“I know. He actually gave a note to my grandma to give to me.” I answered.

“Really? What did it say?” Jared asked.

“He umm… well… he gave me a cd with a recording of “Right Girl” on it. In the note he wrote about how I finally got my own song and he wished the lyrics to my song could have been different. He also apologized, again.” I said trying to keep the tears from falling.

“He regrets what he did to you every day. He also really does love you. I understand that he figured it out a little too late but seriously Parks, you need to at least talk to him.”

I took a deep breath and then let it out as I said, “I don’t know if I can handle that Jared.”

“Why not? You’re obviously still in love with him. You know what though? This isn’t my place to get involved. The two of you will have to figure it out. Anyway, the guys and I really miss you so do you want to come over to the apartment tomorrow? I’d invite you over today but I figured you’d just want to unpack and rest up.”

“I don’t know Jared…” I started.

Jared quickly interrupted and said, “John won’t be there. He’s out in California talking to some record executive or something. It’ll just be me and Kenny at the apartment and we’ll invite Garrett and Pat over so they can see you too.”

“Ok, I’ll be there Jare.”

“Great. So you tomorrow Parker-Blaine. Bye.”

“Bye Jared. Oh also, thanks for sticking by me through all of this. I really have missed you.”

“I missed you too, Parks.”

With that we hung up and I was once again wrapped up in my thoughts. I didn’t have to see John at the guys’ apartment tomorrow but I knew I couldn’t avoid him forever.
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I was in my hotel room packing my bags when my phone buzzed signaling that I had a new text.

It’s official… Parker-Blaine is back home. –Jared

The breath caught in my throat and every emotion possible flew through my mind. I was still mad that she had just left, upset because I was the one that made her leave, happy that she was finally back, and, most of all, nervous. I was completely in love with her and hoped that, somehow, she still had those feelings for me.

Things in Tempe are about to get interesting. By the way I got done in Cali early so I’ll be home tomorrow evening. –JohnO

Ok. We’ll just be at the apartment hanging out. -Jared

I finished packing and laid on my bed as I turned on the TV. I had no clue what show I was even watching though because TV was the last thing on my mind.
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I was still about five minutes from home when my phone suddenly rang again and I rolled my eyes figuring that Jared had told the other guys I was back and one of them was now calling me.

“Hello?” I answered expecting to hear the voice of Pat, Garrett, or Kennedy.

A voice I didn’t expect answered back though, “Hey sweetie. I have great news… I was just told that I’m going to have to go to Arizona for a business trip and I’m staying in a hotel in Tempe. We’ll get to spend some time together since I was on a trip and didn’t get to say goodbye when you left New York. I’ll also get to meet your friends and family.”

I feigned excitement because I knew that’s what he wanted, “Wow, that’s great hon.”

My two worlds were about to collide and shit was going to hit the fan.