I Brought You Bullets, You Brought Me Love

Another day of school; I knew Mikey wouldn’t say a thing about it, but both me and him were hoping Frank had changed. After what happened at his house, we were hoping that he would just forget about everything that had happened at school, and just befriend us, or even ignore us; ignoring us would be better than scar our memories, at least!
We walked through the corridor, directing to our lockers, and saw Frank standing beside them; me and Mikey looked at each other, a smile plastered on our faces. He was going to change, after all!
We arrived there, and, as Mikey was about to talk, Frank interrupted him.
- Don’t forget to go to the bathroom at the first break, assholes; otherwise, I’ll be forced to hurt you. – Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no! Fuck, there it was, the evil smirk playing among those beautiful lips. I couldn’t stand it.
Frank, then, moved away, shouting ‘faggot’ as he passed by with his friends, after a while, and just returning to be a cold motherfucker… or Gerard-fucker, if it even matters.
Me and Mikey met him at the bathroom, and he raped me; again. And again the next day, and the day after that, and all the way until one month of school was completed.
However, at the same time, his mother kept asking me and Mikey to go over their house after school; it was like she was our second mother, or something. And every single time me and Mikey went there, Frank would act like nothing at school had happened; like it wasn’t him who did those things to me and my little brother. In fact, it was like me and Mikey knew two different persons, that looked exactly the same, yet were so different inside. At school, we had Frank, a cold motherfucker with some serious problems; at home, we had Frankie, a sweet guy who was almost our best friend, and actually felt like killing the person who hurt us.
I considered asking his mother if he was bipolar or anything like that, but I restrained from doing that; I was pretty sure his mother didn’t even know that Frank hurt me or Mikey at school. Also, I didn’t wanna hurt Frankie… I might’ve started to like him more than a friend, you see?

Today, Mikey was sick, so, he didn’t go to school; I decided that, since he wasn’t there, I was going to confront Frank about his two personalities. He was starting to piss me off, actually!
It was now break time, and I speeded onto the bathroom, wanting to be there before Frank, so I could prepare myself for what I was about to do; not only I was about to confront him with a truth that was killing me, but I was also going to…
- Gerard! I’m so glad that you’re here already! Such a good boy we have… - Frank started, but then stopped, and the smirk on his face disappeared as he noticed we were alone in the bathroom. – Where the fuck is your brother? – He asked, looking at me evilly.
- At home; he’s sick – I replied, and I swear I could catch a glimpse of worry in Frank’s eyes; maybe he was starting to change, after all.
- Oh… - he said, his voice breaking down a bit; then, he recomposed, and smirked at me again. – It doesn’t matter; get your pants down, now – he demanded, but I didn’t move.
I was in the middle of the bathroom, arms crossed on my chest, standing almost only on one of my legs [like girls usually are… Mm…], looking at Frank; he was in front of me, waiting for me to move, his hands on his hips, looking malevolently at me, waiting for me to move. I didn’t move.
- What the fuck are you waiting for, Way? – Frank asked, moving closer to me, moving one of his hands to the inside of his jacket, to grab the gun; I, however, was faster than him and grabbed his wrist before he could reach it.
After that, Frank tried to get his other hand there faster, but I grabbed it too, which made him look at him a little scared, but still evilly. In order to make what I wanted, I moved him around my body, moving in a circle as well, and pinned him into the wall of the bathroom; he looked at me confused, and I leant a bit closer to him, making him start to breathe faster. I could feel his breath hit my face, which got me uncontrolled for a second, but I quickly got my shit together again, and looked deep into his hazel pearls.
- You know what, Frank? – I said, not really waiting for him to answer; he shifted a little bit in front of me, and I tightened the grip on his wrists. – I’m really tired of the whole double personality shit. – That sentence was enough to make him freeze. – At school, you scare the shit out of me, but at home you’re as sweet as a fucking cupcake, and I’m not going to tolerate that anymore.
- I don’t know what you’re talking about – he replied, between his teeth, and I could feel he was getting uncomfortable; he moved his eyes to something that wasn’t me, which made me sigh, exasperated.
- Oh, yes you know. I can see it in your eyes, as much as you try to hide it – I told him, leaning my forehead on his, so he was forced to look into my face. – You wanna know why I think you do this? – I asked him, our lips really close, but never touching; he didn’t reply, just staring at my eyes helplessly, but I answered anyway. – I think you’re trying to hide your own sexual orientation – I said, and immediately caught fear in his eyes; BINGO! – I knew it; you’re gay, just like me, aren’t you, Frankie?
I felt him relax under my touch; from what I had seen of Frank, it could be only a trick to get me to release him, but I released a little bit the grip on his wrists; surprisingly, he didn’t run away. I took that as a tip, and leant closer and closer to his lips; before I even close my eyes, I saw him close his own eyes and give in. Then, I kissed him.
Holy fuck of all heavens that could exist; this was the best thing ever. I had just confronted Frank about all of his shit, but I had also lost my “kiss virginity”. Yes, I had never kissed anyone before. Frank was the first guy I kissed, and, believe me, I regret nothing. There are no words to explain it properly; I was on cloud nine. It wasn’t rough or even meaningless, like all the times he had raped me; it was calm, our lips moving in sync and gently caressing each other’s lips, and our hands making their way to each other’s bodies. No, we weren’t just feeling each other’s body; I put my hands at the back of his neck, caressing him there, and he reached for my face, his thumb caressing my cheeks up and down as we moved our lips. It was the sweetest thing ever; we looked so much as if we were long-term boyfriends who were deeply in love with each other; like, our kiss was just a touch of the lips, no tongues involved, like a love scene at the movies would make kisses look. We were just showing affection to each other, no lust, no sex, nothing but love.
Soon enough, we both got away from each other, keeping our foreheads in touch, gasping for air; he kept his eyes closed as a tiny smile made its way to his sweet lips, and I couldn’t help but smile with him. He then looked at me, biting his lower lip; no words were exchanged, just a lovely look in the eyes between us, that made us both get down to earth again.
It wasn’t as if I had forgotten about all the things he had done to me; I just believed that it wasn’t his real self that had done that. I could see it in his eyes; right there, with me just some millimeters away from him, he was the same boy he was at home, the sweet Frankie.
- Gerard… - he whispered, a tear trying to break his way through his now closed eyelids; I moved one of my hands to his cheek, and just caressed it sweetly, and then he leant his head on my hand, still moving his thumbs up and down my own cheeks. - I… I’m so sorry – he mumbled, and I just peeked on his lips again, the school bell ringing, scaring me to death and ruining our sweet moment. – I… I gotta go. I’m so sorry – he whispered again, and I saw his tears run down his face, stained black from the eyeliner, and he didn’t even care; he just got out of the bathroom.
I waited two minutes, and then got out as well, a grin making its way on my face; I was kinda sad that Frank was probably still crying, but I was also happy that he had been so sweet to me, and had kissed me back. HE HAD KISSED ME BACK!
I got inside the arts class, and what wasn’t my surprise when I saw Frank speaking to his mother, still in tears, and his mother was so damn worried my smile faded; Frank noticed me, and soon looked back at his mother, asking her something, since she nodded and kissed his forehead.
I was still at the door, looking at that scene and biting my lip; soon, Frank walked past me, looking one time at my eyes, and then moving away, one new trail of tears running from his eyes. I looked over at his mom, who motioned for me to go to her, and I walked, now really worried about Frank.
- Is Frank alright? – I asked, unable to control myself; what if he had told her what had happened, and she was going to blame me? Fuck my life.
- He said he was sick… maybe Mikey and him have the same disease? – She asked me, still worried about her little son; I looked at her, confused.
- How do you know about Mikey? – I asked, a puzzled look plastered on my face.
- Frank told me… Gosh, I think I never saw him feeling so bad in all his life! He was even crying in pain – Miss Pricolo said, her face contorting in pain for his son.
- Oh… yeah, maybe they have the same disease… But Mikey has been feeling like this because of what happened to our parents, too; he has been kinda down, and it only increased his state – I replied, lying; at least, when I said Frank and Mikey could have the same disease. I knew that being down was affecting the state Mikey was in; if I was sick, I would probably be beyond dead, with all the shit that had been going on.
- Oh… do you mind if I checked on Mikey, later? ‘Cause I think that Frank is not that bad, that maybe someone hurt him here, or something… Could you stay with him while I check on Mikey? I’ll give you a ride home, if you want to… - Miss Pricolo asked, her face really showing the affection she felt towards me and my brother; she was so sweet.
In fact, her little offer was very convenient to me; I wanted to talk to Frank about what had happened, and it would be very great if his mother and Mikey weren’t around. I nodded, and went to my seat, right beside Bob; he looked at me, confused.
- What was that little chat with the teacher about? – He asked, not meaning to be meddlesome, for sure, but yet very curious.
- Frank – I told him, totally forgetting how much him, Ray and Alicia hated Frank; they didn’t know the sweetheart that lie under his cold cover he wore on school.
- Frank? Why? Does she know…? – He asked, now getting kinda worried.
- No… She thinks he might be sick, and wants me to watch over him today – I replied, not caring if he would think I’m crazy, or something.
- Why you? – Bob asked, obviously trying to understand everything.
Only if he knew…
- Because I live just across the street – I told him, which made him look at me, his eyes wide open.
- Really?! You live across the street of Frank? Are you going? – Bob asked me, obviously thinking I wouldn’t go.
- Yes – I replied, sighing as I got my stuff on the table.
- But are you going? – He asked; I rolled my eyes at him.
- I was actually answering that question – I told him, turning to the teacher, who was just doodling around talking about that we could do whatever we felt like doing.
- Are you serious?! – Bob said, obviously scared and surprised. – I mean, why would you do that?
- You don’t know him; he’s just so… different here. He’s not what he seems to be… I know him like no one else does – I defended Frank, leaving Bob open-mouthed; it was just a little ‘o’ that his mouth was making, until Miss Pricolo came to me.
- Gerard? – She asked, seeming still stressed about the whole Frank thing.
- Hum, I know what I’m asking is really edgy, but… I’m really worried about Frank… could you please go check on him right now… I’ve got a weird feeling… And I really can’t leave right now, as much as I want to – Miss Pricolo asked me, a single tear escaping her eye. – Please, Gerard, I really feel something is not right with him.
- Don’t worry, Miss Pricolo, I’ll go to him right away – I told her, gathering the stuff I had just put on the table, and took one last look at Bob’s face; now, his jaw was on the floor, literally; he fell from his chair. Good thing he got up quickly and without drawing attention to him. – Frankie must be okay… He has to be okay.
With that been said, I got up and walked with Linda to her desk, where she wrote a pass for me to leave, lying on it and saying it was because of my brother; she gave me her key and then I left the classroom, walking over to the exit of the school. When I got there, I handed the paper Linda had wrote, and got out of school, running to my street. When I got there, I stopped running, not being able to run anymore, and walked rather quickly to the Iero’s household.
I opened the door, and Frank was nowhere to be seen; I realized that, probably, he was on his room, crying on his bed, or maybe sleeping. I don’t know why, but I actually had a feeling on my tummy that was telling me something was wrong with him.
I quickly made it to his room and, without even knocking, I opened the door, just to freeze on my way inside. Frank was definitely there; he was holding a razor blade, blood dripping from his arms, and shaking a little. When he saw me, I also realized he was still crying, although by now all his eyeliner was long gone, and his face was covered with transparent tears; he was still with the razor on his hand and, without any warning or any doubt, he slid the razor through his throat, making it bleed, and making him choke.
- Frank! – I screamed, running to him, who had just fallen on the ground; I grabbed my phone and dialed the 911, calling an ambulance instantly. When I was sure they were on their way, I hung up and kneeled beside Frank. – Frank… why? Why today? Why now? Why like this? – I asked him, not able to stop my tears from falling onto his lifeless body.
- I… I t-told you that the person who… - he started saying, coughing and taking a deep breath to finish his sentence. – who hurt you must be dead, Gee…
After that, he said nothing more; not because he was done with his little speech, but because he couldn’t.
There was so much blood... and he wasn’t moving… I cried even harder, hugging his cold body.
Why, Frank? Why?