Let the Flames Begin

"No, Aunt Lynn, just take a shower and dry your hair, they have makeup artists there for you and Gram, okay? Just make sure you're there at one o'clock," I insisted for the fifth time.

My aunt placed a hand on her hip and prodded the coffee machine with a manicured finger. She'd been raised to go everywhere looking nice and I knew the idea of her meeting my band members without her hair or makeup done wouldn't sit well with her.

Today would be an exhausting day full of photo shoots and interviews. We'd gotten the cover and a massive spread in Alternative Press magazine. The band and I would be arriving early and doing a group interview and photo shoot.

The idea behind Ryder and I's introduction would be like how you would introduce a boyfriend or girlfriend to your family. My grandma and aunt would be coming for some photos and an interview while Robbie would come in for Ryder.

Taylor had texted me all the details last night and Jeremy had called and told me the basics of what to expect. In short, it was a long day.

"Oh alright. I'll make sure we're not late or anything," she promised, pulling a mug out of the cabinet. I pecked her cheek before grabbing my small bag off the table. She handed me a bagel and I grinned at her.

"Don't forget to eat before you come. It's gonna be a while," I said. She rolled her eyes and shooed me out the back door.

It was chilly out since it was still early and I jingled my keys as I walked over to my car. Nerves ran through my veins and I shivered as I got into my car. I knew I looked gross enough, wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt but I didn't mind as much as my aunt did.

It took me a half an hour to find the address and when I arrived, I wouldn't have known if it hadn't been for Hayley's hair in the parking lot. I followed her into the warehouse-like building and was surprised by the whirl of action around me.

There were different set-ups for photo shoots, and people testing lights for each. I noticed in the far corner different stations for makeup and wardrobe. It seemed like there was a whole department store over there. In the far right corner was a couch and chair setup, where I assumed the interviews would take place and a large table of food near there.

I saw Taylor and Ryder over near the food and made my way toward them. I nearly always found myself wondering how inseparable those two were. As I walked over, people greeted me by my first name. I politely said hello back, wondering if this was how it always was.

"Good morning guys," I greeted. Ryder looked tired as hell as she waved a small hello to me. Taylor grinned brightly, wide awake.

"Morning sunshine, you seem to be loving life right now," he said sarcastically. I rolled my eyes at him. True enough, I'd been getting a lot less sleep than usual of late. Mostly because of being inducted into the band, though I could hardly complain.

"I'm exhausted. My grandma kept me up most of the night watching murder mysteries on Lifetime," I explained. I turned to Ryder who was smirking in amusement. "Where's Robbie? It's weird to not see her around."

"She's catching up with sleep on the couch," she said, gesturing to the area near us. She smiled fondly in that direction and then smiled at me. I grabbed a muffin from the table and ate it happily, glancing around.

"Where'd Hayley go? I followed her in," I asked in general. An unreadable look passed over Taylor's face before he shrugged. The look and shrug seemed to be an increasing trend with the guitarist.

"She's around, probably looking over the questions they're gonna ask us later. She's always concerned about questions about Zac and Josh. She probably doesn't want you guys to have any hard questions to deal with," he explained.

I wondered about why she thought Ryder and I couldn't handle questions on the former members. I'd been a fan when they were in the band and of course, knew how to handle them graciously. If anything, I'd looked up to Zac as one of my inspirations and mentors for the drums. I'd been anticipating questions on them.

My reverie was broken when Jeremy started yelling at us from across the warehouse. I smiled and waved ecstatically. When I turned back, Taylor was raising an eyebrow at me and I blushed, looking at the floor.

"It's a glorious morning, isn't it?" he asked, hugging me. He slapped hands with Taylor and then, surprising most of us, hugged Ryder too. She seemed shocked as well, but accepted the hug and grinned.

"Is it glorious? I missed that memo," I said, crossing my arms and cocking my head at him. "If I didn't know any better I'd say someone got some last night."

He grinned and then shook his head. I stamped down the relief that raised in my heart when he shook his head. It would be rather stupid to have feelings for the bassist of my band and I wasn't rather stupid at all.

"My realtor called and I got the house that I wanted!" he exclaimed, opening his arms and engulfing us all into a huge group hug. We all laughed and congratulated him. When he let go of us, he explained himself further.

"I figured we'd be going on tour soon so this gives me time to move my stuff in and settle with help from my bestest friends of course."

We all rolled our eyes and glanced at the ceiling. Hayley was walking over though, with a dude I'd never seen before. We all fell silent and watched them come over.

"Hi guys, I'm Ben, I'll be managing today. I'll give you a quick overview of the day. We need y'all to go over to makeup and wardrobe for your band photos and then the interview will be after. While you're over there your families will get their makeup and wardrobe which you'll get changed for those photos after your interview with the band and continue to get interviewed separately with your family."

I was already lost but understood enough to rush over to hair and makeup. Ryder and I sat next to each other, two women buzzing around us and picking out eye shadows and foundations to match our features.

"Hey Andy?" Ryder asked.

"Hm?" I mumbled, my eyes shut and getting a base smeared across them.

"Are you nervous at all? About the interviews and photo shoots, I mean," she asked. I bit my lip and felt my own nerves shooting up again.

"Yeah, I am. How are you gonna pose for the pictures and stuff?" I asked. The question felt silly and awkward dripping from my lips, but it was exactly what I was dreading. She laughed.

"No idea. Whatever comes natural I guess, I mean, how else could we?"

"I dunno man. I always thought it would be awkward to have to do photo shoots and shit."

"It's gonna be awkward. I'm more worried about the questions they're going to ask. Do you really think they'll ask about Josh and Zac?" she asked. I glanced over at her and saw her gnawing her lip off.

"If you bite your lip any harder, you'll be eating it," she snorted, "I think it's kind of a given that they'll ask about them. They were the former members, you know?"

"I guess. I'm just not sure how to answer..." she trailed off. I sensed a story behind the statement and accepted the silence. She obviously wanted to confide a secret and that had to wait for privacy.

Without the distraction of speaking, all the attention was a bit overwhelming. I had someone running a straightener through my hair while another applied mascara. I took a deep breath and tried to sort out my thoughts. The over-ruling one was how long this was taking. I was a drummer, not a model; was all this really necessary?

When I saw myself in the mirror, I got the answer.

I looked not only like a drummer and a girl, but like a rock star. I looked like I belonged to an internationally famous band. My eye makeup was light, with dark eyeliner in a dark brown, but a natural face look. My hair was pin straight, but with volume and a bit clipped back in the front.

As we were shunted to wardrobe, I inspected Ryder who looked fantastic. Her hair was in neater waves than usual and her eye makeup black, which created an edgy look against her skin. I was envious of her looks at that exact moment.

Hayley was wearing her makeup the way it always was, her bright hair straight. Taylor and Jeremy were already standing in wardrobe since they didn't necessarily need any makeup, except for camera complimentary powder.

The look we were going for was definitely not a look I would try on my own. I was inspected from every angle by a woman and an obviously gay man. They were talking gibberish about fabrics and skirts while I looked around anxiously. My jeans and t-shirt mentality was obviously not going to be accepted here.

In the end, I was dressed in a striped black and white dress that was tight and white on top and flowy black on the bottom. I was handed patterned tights as well as a black cardigan to put over. As a woman placed necklaces on me and bracelets, Ryder and I shared an exasperated look, which only increased when we realized that we'd have to do this again.

Ryder looked nice, in dark jeans and a dressy dark purple top. I was jealous of her ensemble, considering she got to wear flats instead of the heels I was wearing. She rolled her eyes when she was brought back to makeup for purple accents on her eyeshadow.

I grabbed a water bottle from the table near my makeup station and found Jeremy sitting on a bench near the first photo area. I dropped down next to him and he smirked at me.

"Havin' a rough day kid?" he asked, gently patting my knee. My insides squirmed.

"Some might say that," I replied, "This is taking forever. We're all ready, what's Hayley doing?"

"She's the middle of the picture so her outfit has to match all of ours and everything."

Purple, black, and white was a re-occurring theme as I looked at the four of us. The backdrop where we would be taking the pictures was a simple white and I watched the photographer set things up.

"She's the center of all the pictures?"

"She's the center of everything Andy. The sooner you realize it, the sooner you'll get over it."

His harsh tone surprised me and, if I was being completely honest, hurt me. I wasn't used to such a seriousness in the bassist and his face was everything but humorous. I bit the inside of my cheek and fell silent.

Hayley bounced over wearing a white strapless dress and bright neon leggings. She seemed vibrant and happy as usual, a change from her less than bouncing personality this morning. The longer the time I spent with her, the more I realized how little I knew about her.

The photographer spoke to me and Ryder about different angles and how to pose, since he knew that we were inexperienced. Nothing really stuck and Ryder and I ended up making funny faces at each other when he walked away, bursting out in laughter and getting a glare from the man.

There were many different poses but what Jeremy said proved true: Hayley was the middle. Of course, this was because she was the lead singer and face of the band really. I didn't see any reason to be offended by it.

When the "cover shots" were done (which honestly must have taken hours), we started taking shots of just Ryder and I. We'd requested a wardrobe change, in which we had fun picking our own outfits.

"Yo, guitarist of mine, do you like these jeans?" I asked her, holding up a pair of incredibly ripped jeans. She looked over and grinned, giving me a thumbs up. I began searching for a shirt to go with it. In the end, I decided to go with my oversized, off the shoulder Nirvana shirt that I'd worn presently.

"I fucking love your outfit," Ryder praised. She left me for a second before returning swiftly with a black beanie. She took the liberty of placing it on my head and fixing my hair. I helped her find a dark green v-neck, paired with a grey plaid flannel.

"Oh, wait," I said, grabbing her wrist before we went over to the photographer. She turned to me with a curious look on her face.

"Before, when we were talking about the questions they'd ask about Josh and Zac, it seemed like there was a back story," I prompted.

"Oh my god," she breathed, looking down at her feet. "That day at auditions, I kind of ran in because I stole a soda and needed to get away from the guys chasing me. Honestly, I don't even know what those two guys played."

I laughed and filled her in with the basics. She drank it in eagerly before hugging me tightly. I laughed and pat her back as she thanked me over and over again. I could understand being anxious about answering questions on men you knew nothing about.

Our photo shoot was much more fun than the one with the rest of the band. At one point I held Ryder at gun point with my fingers and at another, she was on my back. The idea behind this one was to show us as "troublemakers" coming to "shake the band up a little."

When the photographers assistant brought out the paint, we squealed in delight. I, of course, changed into a similar black shirt (which the wardrobe department made for me) since my Nirvana shirt was precious to me.

Ryder and I picked up cans of paint and just splashed paint on each other and the background. Jeremy, Taylor, and Hayley watched, laughing at everything we said and did. When the photographer called it as a wrap, I hugged Ryder tightly.

"Hey Jeremy, my best buddy, you wanna hug?" I asked, holding my arms out wide and walking toward him slowly. His eyes got wide and he shook his head, booking it in the other direction. We all laughed and Ryder and I were brought to an area we could clean up in.

Unfortunately that included only buckets of soapy water and a hose to clean our hair. We cleaned up in front of each other but we kept it as private an experience as possible. I shampooed Ryder's hair and then washed it out, allowing her to help me do the same.

I changed into the shirt and pants I'd worn that morning. I wanted to dry my hair myself but someone did it for me, adding product that would help it for the next style I'd have. Robbie was being kicked off the couch as my grandma and aunt walked in, five minutes early. I waved them over excitedly.

"Guys, I want you to meet my family!" I exclaimed ecstatically. Jeremy walked over and slung an arm around my shoulders, leaning into me slightly. Ryder was already by my side and Hayley was bouncing over from wardrobe in more comfortable clothes.

"Guys," I said, as my aunt and grandma got closer, "This is my Aunt Lynn and my grandma, Anne. Gram, this is Ryder, Hayley, Jeremy, and oh, here's Taylor now."

"My, what bright hair you have dear," my grandmother said to Hayley, smiling warmly at her. Hayley laughed and hugged her. Moving down the line my grandmother got to Jeremy, who's cheeks she pinched and then turned to me.

"A good-looking one, lord Andrea, why don't you say these things? 'Oh gram, I got in a band,' it would be nice if you mentioned two beautiful women and two handsome men," she scolded. I rolled my eyes and grinned at her.

"Well, I'm sorry I didn't mention how fabulous-looking my band mates are. This is Robbie, she's Ryder's sister," I said, as the teenager popped out of nowhere, holding a piece of pizza. "There's food over there and I'm sure Ben will sniff you out and bring you over to wardrobe soon. I have to do a band interview now."

As they left us to check out the buffet with Robbie, we all sat on the couch in the space designated. Taylor sat on one end and as we approached, Ryder grabbed my hand tightly and pulled me down next to her, with me on the other end and her in the middle. Jeremy and Hayley sat on the loveseat next to us.

A girl with chocolate brown hair pulled into a bun and nice clothes came in and sat in an armchair opposite us. Ryder squeezed my hand as she placed a recorder on the table next to her and pressed record, as well as pulling out a notepad.

"Hi, I'm Jenna, I'll be interviewing you guys today as well as Ryder and her sister later on I think," she introduced, smiling widely. She didn't look like someone I'd normally consort with. I got more comfortable on the couch as we mumbled our hellos. "So how about we start with introductions."

We went down the line saying our names and she asked us how we all were. Standard questions as such so far. Of course, the easy questions wouldn't last.

"Okay, so you had auditions for the two open spots in the band, correct? Out of all the applicants and then narrowed down number of auditioners, you ended up choosing two more girls to add to the band. How do you think this will change the bands image and do you think you'll lose fans?" she asked.

While I was still grasping what she said and thinking of a response, Hayley was answering the question:

"Obviously the image will change slightly in the way that there are two more female members physically and we know some of the fans won't necessarily like it at first but of course, we made the right decision for the band. Andy and Ryder were honestly the best for the job and I think the fans will notice that as soon as they get the chance to see their love for music."

I felt my chest puff with pride. I stuffed that down since that was one of the seven deadly sins and I shouldn't be too prideful. I'd barely even started the job yet.

"Has the focus of the band changed at all? Let's put it this way," she said, when she realized her question made no sense, "When you start making new music, will it be following the same path you were on with the Farro brothers or different?"

"We've already started making new music and experimenting different musical techniques with one another," Jeremy said, "There's no way to describe it; it's uniquely Paramore."

"Wow, you've already started on new music. Do you two feel comfortable playing old Paramore songs already then?" she directed to us.

"I'm a fast learner," Ryder said. I nodded in agreement.

"Paramore was my favorite band for a while. I knew a lot of the songs going into the auditions," I answered. She nodded, making a note.

"Andy, you said that Paramore was your favorite band. How do you feel about replacing Zac as drummer?" she asked. The silence that followed was thick and I was aware of all eyes on me. Ryder squeezed my hand in encouragement.

"Honestly, I don't look at it that way. I look up to Zac as a drummer and he was truly one of the reasons I continually learned to play. I see it as an extension of his work on the band and also bringing in my own ideas," I answered, shaking.

Judging by the outtakes of relieved breaths on all sides, I'd answered well. Jenna looked wrote some notes down and glanced at Ryder.

"Do you feel the same way?" she asked.

"I do. I know I could never replace Josh and I'm not going to try to," she answered coolly, her voice smooth. I only knew her tension through how hard she squeezed my hand.

"I see you two are holding hands. Are you very close? How have you found yourself fitting in with the others?"

"We're bonding and trying to get to know one another. I think, especially today, that we've gotten closer and kind of, um, taken shelter knowing we're both new to this life and everything," Ryder said.

"Yeah, it would definitely be more stressful without knowing that Ryder is just as new as I am to this whole thing," I supported. We smiled at each other.

"And as far as fitting in goes...?" she prompted.

"I think we fit nicely, I wouldn't say perfectly but it's definitely easy to hang out and write with these guys," I said.

The interview continued in the same way, questions about touring and new music mostly being shot off at Hayley and Jeremy. Taylor didn't talk at all except when the question of how we fit came into play. They all immediately came to our defense, rather like a family would.

When it was over, Jenna excused herself and then Hayley rushed out for a meeting with our manager, who I had yet to meet. Jeremy and Taylor promised to stick around for us and Ryder and I ended up back by makeup, getting done up while our families waited for us.

I was getting a more sophisticated look now, with golden makeup and curled hair. I was put in a black lacy dress and heels again, with pearl accessories. Before I went over to take pictures, Jeremy appraised my outfit.

"You look like a girl," he said, cracking a grin. I rolled my eyes. "Seriously though, you look beautiful."

I blushed and allowed him to guide me toward the area I'd be taking pictures with his hand on my lower back. The background was a vintage Victorian wallpaper with a black Victorian era chair that housed my grandmother.

We did a few different poses, mostly with my grandma sitting and my aunt and I sitting behind her. We had many serious faces and lots of funny ones, hopefully some of each would get in. Jeremy patted my shoulder and assured me I did well.

Before the interview, I got to see some of Ryder and Robbie's shoot. They were dressed in bright colors and did crazy things. It was obvious that they were projecting the young vibe in the pictures.

"I'll stand right there while you get interviewed, okay?" Jeremy promised. I nodded nervously.

"I'm scared Jer," I admitted. He shook his head and pulled me into a hug. He leaned to whisper something in my ear.

"The way you handled that question about replacing Zac before, you have absolutely nothing to worry about okay?" he reassured. I nodded and went to sit between my grandma and aunt. They smiled at me kindly.

"He's handsome Andrea, you should go after him," my grandma urged.

"I'm not gonna lie," my aunt started, "He is attractive."

"First of all, no. Second of all, no. Third of all, Taylor and Ryder are probably gonna date and we can't be a band of couples so stop it, no."

They scoffed at my answer and sat back into the couch, while I sat on edge. A guy walked in casually with jeans and a t-shirt on. He carried only a notebook and a messenger bag. He grabbed an apple from the table before dropping into the chair opposite us.

"Hi there, I'm Jason. How are y'all today?" he introduced.

We answered graciously as he opened his notebook and then pulled a sheet of paper from his pocket. He unfolded it slowly and I watched Jenna lead Ryder and Robbie over to a bunch of set-up chairs, Taylor following close behind.

"I'll keep this short since I know you've had a long day Andy. How about some basics like your full name, your age, hometown, and musical influences?"

"Okay, well, my full name is Andrea May Russo but everyone calls me Andy. I'm 21 and originally from New York but I moved down here when I was 3 or 4 so I consider this my hometown. As far as music, I mean, influence wise I'd have to go with classics like Zeppelin and The Beatles but I'm in love with The Monkees and Nirvana."

"Okay, alright, some variety. I dig it. How about you introduce your family?" he asked, his pen flashing across the paper.

I introduced my aunt and grandmother, both of who made jokes about not saying their ages. He was very gracious to them and allowed them to tell a little bit of background about themselves.

"I notice you're here with your aunt and grandmother. Can I ask where your mother and father are?"

Jeremy placed his hand on Jason's shoulder warningly. His eyes flashed to see my reaction, though I didn't have one.

"I'm sorry if that's too personal," he apologized.

"It's okay. My mother is in a home for the mentally sick as she has an incurable and unpredictable disease caused by an accident. My father left shortly after that accident," I answered generically. I wasn't ashamed of my mom or my dad but it was still rough to talk about.

"I'm very sorry to hear about that," he informed, "I just want to let you know that I won't put that in if you don't want me to."

Jeremy's eyes were wide with shock and another emotion I always caught after I told my story: sympathy. My grandmother patted my knee gently as I smiled warmly at Jason.

"Please, make sure you put that in. I love my mom and my dad. They're as much a part of my life as my aunt and gram."

The rest of the interview concerned me talking about the drums and my passion for music on my part. My grandma and aunt got to tell embarrassing stories of me as a child and vouch for how much I loved music. It was heartwarming to hear how proud of me they were.

"Okay Andy, how about advice or a quote for the fans out there to end with?"

I thought for a moment. This would be important because it would show not only my personality, but kind of my outlook on life. I smirked and then looked between my two guardians with an apologetic look.

"Please pardon my French but it'll have to be 'Fuck the police.'"

He laughed appreciatively and shook all of our hands before leaving. My aunt and grandma went to change into the clothes they wore when they came while I stood with Jeremy. He bit his lip.

"You never told us about your mom," he said.

"You never asked. Please," I started when he went to say something, "Don't start pitying me. I've had five years to deal with all of this and I'm a better person because of it."

"I'm still sorry about it. You're a good person and so is your family. You didn't really deserve this," he said. I shrugged and we walked toward where Ryder and Robbie were being interviewed.

"My sister means the world to me. I don't think it matters where our parents are, they're not here right now," Ryder said through gritted teeth. I automatically knew she was trying to refrain from snapping. I gave her an encouraging smile and a thumbs up.

She finished her interview on a high note, her quote being: "Don't let anything hold you back. You can do anything you want if you just try. What have you got to lose?"

Which was a bit more profound than mine.

Her, Robbie, and I went to change back into our clothes and return the clothes to wardrobe. It was amazing how fast everything was getting cleaned up and I thanked everyone I could. We all stood in a circle near the entrance.

" I gotta split. I have a bunch of papers to sign for my house," he said, "You guys will help me move in right?"

We all mumbled our promises which he turned into pinky promises. He walked away after hugging us all and that left me with Ryder, Taylor, and Robbie.

"How awesome were the clothes though?" I asked Robbie. She babbled on about it and I smiled, agreeing with her on every point. In some ways, I was still a teenager. Ryder shut her sister up and rolled her eyes.

"So I'll see you next practice? Or maybe moving Jeremy in," she said, laughing. I laughed with her and then shook my head. That guy would be the death of me.

"Yeah, sure. You could always call me though and we could hang out. I go to local shows with some of my friends all the time, you could definitely come along sometime," I offered. She smiled widely and hugged me tightly.

I hugged Robbie and Taylor goodbye and retreated to my car. I started it up and skipped through the CD to find a song I liked. When I looked in my rearview to back up, I noticed Ryder and Robbie getting in the car with Taylor.

I shook my head from thinking suspicious thoughts and left the warehouse that had imprisoned me all day. As I glanced at the clock that announced it was already five-thirty, I smiled.

I loved my life.