My Automatic Attention

It was cold, I was wet, my hair was matted to my face by the rain, yet I felt the happiest I've felt since since me, my mom, and my older bother James moved here to Germany, two months ago, I recently turned 16, that means soon I can leave school and get a job, not a summer job a real job, nothing too good since I still have collage to go to but a job none the less.

They are still constantly arguing about when James is getting a job, or why he does nothing, sometimes she'll take it out on me about my grades when they slightly slip, it was the same when we where in America as well, but then I had Amber with me.

I have been wondering the streets, the ones I slowly learnt in the last two months, for about three hours now, just thinking about all of this. Not heading anywhere in particular, just away from the screaming house. I passed a couple of closed coffee shops, and some late night ones, a few convenience stores, and a couple of bars, from which people would shout things from.

And finally I passed a park.

'Perfect' I thought to my self.

I walked up to the nearest low railing, climbed over and walked towards a bench, the only one that sat under a large tree, a tree that had been hit by the season, as it's coloured leaves fell to the ground and hid the wet floor with barely any noise. It was quiet, just the way I liked it, no screaming kids, no giggling girls, no noisy boys, and most of all, no mom, or James.

I must have sat on that lonely, wet cold park bench for a while, because when I finally decided I would leave, it was going dark, but it hadn't stopped raining. I got up and straightened out my damp Iron Maiden shirt and tugged up my black skinny jeans, I also leaned down to make sure that my Nike dunks where still laced up properly, well, what I considered as properly. After re-adjusting my wet jacket I started walking home.

I must have been half way home by now, it was fully dark out now, and the street lights where on. The rain was still going heavy and I was getting colder. I only had my thin worn-out jacket on. I did not plan to stay out this long.

As I walked home, I passed a few houses, I didn't notice anything until I walked up to one with a dark coloured BMW parked up in front. I heard a little shouting coming form inside, though I couldn't distinguish what they where saying. I heard the shouts of a boy who sounded to be in his teens, and a woman, the tone sounded like they where having an argument, I would know.

As I walked past I heard the clicking of the door, then two boys walked out of the house. One had black hair that was short and spiky, he also looked like he had dark make-up around his eyes, the other had a lighter coloured hair, though I couldn't tell what colour it was because of the lighting. I carried on walking down the partially lit street, and slowly past the two boys, they where talking rapidly in German about some hotel or something.

A sweet voice spoke up, like it was directed towards me, but I didn't understand it as they where speaking in German. I kept on walking.

“Hey!, You!” the other voice shouted to me, the voice from the house.

I turned around and folded my arms.

“Yeah?” I asked.

“Umm, oh, hi you must be the new American Transfer?” the dark haired boy asked me.

“Yeah, um, I don't know any German so I don't think I'll be able to understand much in school, um, well bye!” I said, waved then turned around.

“WAIT! The streets aren't safe this time of night, maybe we should walk you home?” the boy with what I could now see as blonde dreads asked me.

“But Tom, I don't think that's a go-” the dark haired one was cut off by 'Tom' jabbing him in the ribs with his elbow.

“Sure we can, I mean, if you want us to of course, if you didn't we would totally understand” he said leaning against the closest garden wall there was, he folded his arms in his over sized jacket as he did so.

“Um, yeah, please, I actually don't know where I'm going everything looks different at night.” I said and walked towards the two boys.

“Well we'll gladly walk you home wouldn't we Bill?” Tom said as he jabbed his brother yet again in the ribs, Bill winced and took a step to the side, just out of jabbing range.

“Sure, as Tom said, if you want to of course?” Bill said rubbing his side and glaring at his brother for a second before turning and smiling at me.

“Um, if you want to, as I don't know my way around it would be great, but if you hear arguing, you should probably leave.” I said with a sad smile as I began to walk again. The two boys caught up to me and stood on either side, I looked left and saw Bill, and then to the right and saw Tom.

“So, where about do you live?” he asked as he looked towards me.

“Um, across from central park, on the left in the white house, with the black door” I said smiling.

“Ahh, the new houses huh?” he said in this really cute German accent.

“Yes.” I said while silently giggling to my self. “so why didn't you think this would be a good idea Bill?” I asked.

“Um... nothing, well here we are” he said then smiled, “we could knock for you in the morning if you would like?” he asked sweetly.

“No that's probably not a good idea... see my brother is a little overprotective... so...” I said kind of quietly.

“Well we could always meet you around the corner at the bus stop, out step-dad Gordon always walks us to school, you see it's a little ruff around here.” Tom said.

“Sure why not, I mean I don't know where the school is since I came during summer vacation so.. yer.” I said with a slight smile playing on my lips. “well Bye” I said.

“BYE!” I heard them say in union, and I shut the door, I heard them walk away, then stop, “hey!, we never caught your name!” it sounded like Tom.

I turned back, “Rielle!” I shouted then turned back to the door.

I walked towards the front room, my mom was sitting there on the couch staring blankly at the TV.

“Who was that?” she asked rudely, not moving an inch, not even her light blonde hair moved.

“Just some boy's from my new school that have offered to show me round.” I said.

“Well, I'm going to say what I should have said a long time ago when you first started acting like this, stop mixing with boy's your a girl, and you're not a prostitute, so get some new clothes and start acting like a girl should!” she shouted the last part to me I could tell she was yet again, drunk.

“No why would I change my self for you?, I hate you, dad would never have said anything like that to me, and you know it, he appreciated that I was different, now we finally have somewhere were I belong and you hate me for it!” I yelled back then ran to my room, jumped on my bed in my soaking wet clothes and stained my pillow with my already running eyeliner.

“Yeah, well, your dad's dead!” is all I heard her say.

I had no idea when I fell asleep, but when I woke up it was already 6 in the morning, school started at 8 and I needed a shower. I got up and went to the wash room to see what state my face was in, I was rite it was terrible, I turned on the shower, walked back to my room to grab my clothes out of my box marked 'RIELLE'S 'VINTAGE' CLOTHING', Damn I hate James, I pulled out my teal skinny jeans, black guns and roses tee, and my black and white converse, I grabbed a towel and made my way back to the wash room.

After I was done getting changed I walked into my room to put on my make-up, dry and straighten my hair, and cover the bruise on my arm that I got from James on the plane here.

After I was done it was 7:20, I heard a slight knock on the door, I told mom I was going, but I guessed she wasn't up because I heard nothing, I then walked down the stairs.

I grabbed my keys, and an apple and headed for the door. I opened it and noticed there was no one there, then I remembered they said they would wait around the corner for me. I walked to the end and there they where, with whom I guessed to be their step dad with a BIG dog, and a baseball bat, I smiled and slightly waved, Bill gave me a hug, then Tom did after he had finished. Gordon smiled at me, and I did back.

“So your the Rielle the twins walked home after an argument with their mother?” he asked with a small laugh and glare towards the two boys who where looking different ways.

“Um, yer, sorry If I got them in trouble sir.” I said quietly. He laughed.

“Don't worry, they get them selves in enough trouble as it is, and call me Gordon” he smiled.

“Can we go now, I'm getting bored, and don't fancy fighting with the dick when we get into school.” Tom said after Gordon finished.

I looked to Tom in awe, Gordon just shook his head and started walking.

We got to the school grounds, Gordon gave Tom a lecture about fighting, then gave Bill a lecture of bullies or something, then gave me the 'good luck you'll need it' speech. 10 minuets later we where at the office, getting my time table, and locker number.
They walked me to my locker to put my things in, Bill was in English with me first, he took my notepad and led me to class, as Tom walked to his English class.

We walked in the class, the teacher wasn't there and the students where throwing thing, talking in groups, shouting across the room, and laughing loudly, well, that was until me and Bill entered the room, then it all stopped and everybody stared.

It was the MOST awkward moment in my entire life... I think.