The Aftermath

“I hope things don’t get worse.”

It was Cece walking up behind after breakfast. Alex and I had eaten the meal together, his fingers latching onto my arm at any moment whenever someone walked by. Frankly it made eating hard and his hands were very sweaty.

“What happened to you thinking everything was fine?”

“I was there just few minutes before you were and…” Her eyes trailed ahead to see Ashley talking animatedly to Alex. “It was worse than you thought.”

I ran my hands through the hair and breathed. “What’d you see?”

Cece shrugged, biting down to her lip. “She just had her hands all over him, trying feeling him up and talking about you like she knew you. I almost went over there and did something, but Ashley stopped me.”

My head was spinning, turning spirals as my feet moved against the floor. “And what did he do?”

Her eyes went wide. “You mean Ashley? Oh, Alex?”

“Both.”

“Ashley said she’d talk to him about it.” Cece whispered as Ashley and some other boy walked by. I’d actually seen them hanging around each other a lot. “And Alex? He was just standing there, letting her.”

My arms pinned around my front, pulling closer as if they hold my heart from falling through to my feet. Could this really be happening?

“Look Jasmine, I know this seems bad, but every relationship goes through their rough spots. Kyle and I get into it all the time. It’s just how we are.”

“But what if this isn’t a rough spot,” I said. “what if it’s a sign? What if-“

Her hands went to my shoulders, stopping both of us mid step.

“Jasmine, I’m telling you Alex is a guy. He makes mistakes. You have to decide whether or not it’s worth it.”

I didn’t feel hearing this anymore. I didn’t feel like having to see it anymore. I didn’t feel being around it.

“I don’t know. Can we just not talk about it?” I took her hands away from my shoulders and started my stride ahead of her.

“Jasmine! Jasmine! Come on!”

I walked, my heart already starting to burn to pieces.

* * * * *

“Did you hear about what they’re planning to do?”

I was trying to go to sleep, bundled up in my blankets, and trying to ignore the pain moving from my shoulder down my arm.

“What?”

Ryant turned over next to me. “Are you okay?”

“No. I happen not to be. Can you let me go to sleep now?”

His brown eyes speculated me more. “Well, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Ryant.”

“Does your shoulder hurt?”

The ground was hard. They’d moved us all to another rickety looking building, one with dusty floors and flaking windows.

“It does hurt. This ground is tough.”

“Well do you want my blankets? I don’t need them. I’m not hurt.”

He leaned up and moved the blankets from underneath him.

“Lean up.” His hands went softly under my back and I arched my spine upwards. “There you go. Feel better?”

It did feel better.

“Thanks.” I swallowed, looking over to him as he sat against the stone like ground. “Aren’t you uncomfortable?”

He smiled. “No. I’m great. Better than great. Amazing.”

“I heard you saved Rodney.” My head rested against the bundle of blanket. “You’re a hero now.”

“Oh please. I just did it to help, couldn’t stand the thought of anyone dying and you would have done the same thing. We’re fighters. That’s what my dad said.”

“And how’s he been lately?” I asked. “Does he seem okay?”

“I don’t know.” he supplied. “It’s hard to say. Sometimes he’s amazing, running yards and yards with us, dodging bullets, and saving people and other times he’s…”

“Falling apart?”

“Yeah. It worries me like hell sometimes, but he told me he’s fine. So he’s fine.”

“Ryant, your dad’s-“

His face turned to me abruptly. “I’m sorry about your dad. I would have tried to save him if I was there. I really would have.”

“I know.” My hand reached over for his. “It’s stupid for me to be mad at you because of something Alex did. You’re my friend.”

“So it was Alex who upset you?” He nestled his head to rest on his hands. “What’d he do?”

I sighed. “Just some girl who’s constantly messing around with him and he’s doing nothing about it. I feel like he’s lying to me. I’m going through too much stuff right now to deal with it. My dad’s gone. I feel like my life’s falling apart and he’s doing this? Doesn’t he even understand?”

His eyebrows turned together, face stuck in pain. “Well when was the last time you talked to him about your problems? Do you think he understands?”

I shook my head. Things just moved to fast for us it seemed. We didn’t always have time to sit down and just talk. We just didn’t anymore.

“Maybe that’s the problem.” I muttered. “Maybe we just need to understand each other.”

“Good. Good.” He grinned. “Now maybe things can get better. You guys love each other. I’ve seen it. You can make it work. Love works when you need it too, okay?”

I felt my heart flutter underneath the barricade of blankets, moving like a butterfly against my ribs and trying to get out. I still had to ask him.

“Ryant, do you like Damien?”

“Why?” he questioned. “Did he say anything?”

“No… I just-“

His hands combed behind his head again. “I feel like how I saw you look at Alex right after everything happened. I feel like I can trust him. I feel like I can trust a guy, Jasmine. I feel like I could-“

“Please don’t say it.” My throat swallowed a lump there. “Please don’t say that word.”

He licked his lips and smiled. “But why not? I’m young. The world is ending. Why can’t I fall in love? I just want to feel something.”

“But Ryant,” I propped myself up on my arm and looked to him. “You might not want to do it now. Now, with all this craziness might not be the right time. I don’t want to see you get hurt.”

“You did it with Alex last time? You guys fell in love, right? Why can’t I?”

I wished I could have argued, tell him the most convincing argument in the world, and warn him. But I loved Alex. The truth was that I loved him, loved him enough for us to face death together.

“It can work for me, Jasmine. Just like my dad’s getting better. It can work. I feel it. Maybe we can make. Maybe I’m the cure.”

“Okay.” I surrendered. “I trust you. Just do what’s best for you.”

He nodded and I nestled back into my sleeping place, our hands interlocking as I did so. His soft whistles of breath filled my ear as sleep came. I just watched him until my own eyes dropped to close.

Just don’t let us get hurt. Please don’t let us get hurt.

I didn’t know who I asking, maybe it was the voice inside me letting someone know what I wanted or maybe it was all the people who had died trying to let their voices be heard.