When Hope Begins to Fade

Everyone was downstairs in the kitchen talking after the girls went to bed.

“What are we going to do with them?” Zacky asked.

“Dude, they’re one of ours. I honestly don’t want them living in a foster home. We don’t even know who their mother is.” I told him.

“And they apparently fucked up their mother’s life.” Brian said as he joined in on mine and Zacky’s conversation.

“Or the mom is just a bitch.” I told Brian.

Brian was the only one who didn’t really like the girls. Michelle, Val and I absolutely loved them. Zacky was kind of in the middle of liking them and disliking them. Matt and Johnny liked them but didn’t care to be around them much.

“I hope they don’t fuck up ours.” Brian mumbled as he got up from the chair he was sitting in.

I rolled my eyes and ignored Brian. I really hoped that they weren’t his. They were too sweet and kind to be his. The girls kind of looked like each of us. They had hazel eyes and light brown hair. They weren’t short or tall for their age; more like average. The only way I could tell them apart was how they dressed. I guess you could tell them apart by their personalities too. Maddy was more of a tom boy and more outgoing. Ali was shy and girly.

“What would you do if they were yours?” I asked Zacky.

He glanced up from his phone and at me.

“I don’t know but I am pretty sure they aren’t mine.”

“How do you know that?” I asked.

“Just do.”

I raised an eyebrow at him and he just shrugged.

“What about you?” he asked.

“Well I’d love them and happily call them my daughters.”

Zacky just smiled a little and went back to texting on his phone. I sighed and got up off the chair I was sitting in. I grabbed my phone off the table to check the time. It was late enough for me to call it bedtime. I told everyone good night before walking up the stairs towards my room. I first stopped at the room Maddy and Ali were staying in. I cracked it open and saw that they both were sound asleep. I quietly closed the door so I wouldn’t wake them. I went to my room which was right across the hall from theirs. I closed the door quietly and walked over to my bed and sat down. I stared out the window at nothing in particular. I thought about how I would spoil the girls if they were mine.

X

After Jimmy left the kitchen I began thinking about what he had asked me. What would I do if they were mine? They did look somewhat like me but they looked a little like Brian, Matt, Johnny and Jimmy too. I liked kids but I wasn’t ready to be a father. There was no way in hell that I was. Jimmy and Matt would be better fathers than me. I sat there and thought about what I would do until a voice broke me from my thoughts.

“Zack, everyone is going to bed. See you in the morning.” Matt told me.

“Night.”

After the kitchen cleared out I finally got up and headed up the stairs. My room was before Ali and Maddy’s so I walked past mine to go to theirs. I cracked the door open enough to see them. They were so peaceful looking as they slept. They didn’t have to worry about anything now. They were young enough to worry about hardly anything. I closed the door and went into my room. I took off my shirt before getting in bed. I laid there and stared at the ceiling and wondered whose kids they actually were.

X

“Maddy! Maddy! MADDY!” Ali kept saying my name.

“What?” I groaned since she had woke me up.

“Guess what.”

I didn’t really want to play the guess what game. I just wanted to sleep.

“What?” I asked.

“They know who our daddy is.” Ali said quietly.

I quickly sat up and glanced at her. I then realized she was smirking.

“Ha-ha I got you up.” Ali snickered.

I groaned and laid back down.

“Sorry Maddy. I’m just bored.”

I ignored her and tried to go back to sleep.

“Maddy!” Ali whined.

“What?!” I yelled as I looked over at her.

“I just want to do something. They scare me a little.”

I sighed and got up. Ali had already changed clothes so I changed mine also. After I got done getting dressed I glanced over at Ali. I realized that she was wearing all pink.

“Ali.” I groaned. “What is with all the pink?”

I liked pink but not a lot unlike Ali. Ali just shrugged.

I shook my head before leaving the bedroom and walking downstairs to the kitchen to get something to eat. Ali was right behind me. We entered the kitchen and Johnny was in there.

“Johnny, I’m hungry.”

“What do you want?” Johnny asked me.

I thought about it before answering.

“Waffles.”

“Me too.” Ali spoke.

“Alright then. I’ll make you waffles.”

He got up from the table as we sat down. I watched as he walked over to the fridge and got some frozen waffles out. He took four out and put them in the toaster. Ali was annoyingly tapping her fingers against the table.

“Stop!”

Ali stopped and put her hands in her lap. I sighed and put my head down on the table. I heard footsteps enter the kitchen.

“Morning girls.” Jimmy said cheerfully. I heard Johnny growl. I then realized that Jimmy was talking to each of us and had called Johnny a girl.

“Jimmy be nice.” I told him without lifting my head off the table. I heard Johnny snicker.

“I’m nice!” Jimmy argued.

“You called Johnny a girl.”

“So?”

“That’s not nice.”

“I’ve got your food.” Johnny said.

I sat up and watched him walked over with the plates and silverware. Jimmy was standing with his arms crossed and frowning.

“Johnny is the one who isn’t nice!” Jimmy said before walking away. Ali giggled.

Johnny put the food in front of us and we began eating. After we finished Johnny took our plates and put them in the sink. I got up and began walking to the living room. I realized Ali was right behind me. She hated being alone with people she didn’t know well. We entered the living room to find everyone except Johnny watching some show that seemed stupid. I went over to Jimmy and got on his lap. Ali stood awkwardly at the doorway. Johnny came up behind her and picked her up which caused her to shriek until she realized who it was. She blushed since everyone was now staring at her. Johnny carried her to the couch. He sat down by Brian and had Ali on his lap. Ali looked so uncomfortable. I could tell that she probably wanted me to be by her. I got off Jimmy’s lap and walked over to Brian. Since I knew Brian didn’t like us very well I stood in front of him and bit my lip. I then reached my arms out to him hoping that he would let me on his lap. I knew everyone was staring at him. He stared at me for a long time before reaching over to me and picking me up and putting me on his lap. I smiled at Ali. We all then sat there and watched the show. Every now and then someone would start talking but not to us. Brian soon picked me up and placed me where he was sitting as he walked out of the room. Since Michelle got up also I scooted over so Ali could sit beside me instead of on Johnny’s lap. Val turned it to cartoons for us as everyone but Jimmy left the room.