Rabidity

Adrienne had every intention of kissing him, and he could tell. She had pressed her body against his, and her lips seemed to beg him to kiss her. And despite all the things inside him that said he shouldn’t he did anyway.

’Oh Merlin.’ what was he doing? Severus was ever so aware of his attraction towards this girl, never would he let himself dwell on it, let alone act on it.

He often thought of Lily, and that brightness she brought to his damaged soul, and he curiously wondered why did he feel the same now? Why with her? Why would he take comfort in the lips of this young girl that was once his student? Severus was aware that whether he liked it or not – he felt all those feelings he had abandoned after Lily was killed, and now they had come back. But perhaps because she was kissing him – he saw that the bright future he felt in his dream was a possible reality. He remembered forbidding himself to think of that soft skin, and those thick soft lips that he craved to touch. She didn’t even have to use her magic on him; he simply… wanted to kiss her.

And even though he indulged one small fantasy in his mind, he wouldn’t let himself continue any further. Because he felt nothing but the painful sting of love that he had felt before, and he had to leave her there, standing alone, without anyone to hold.

Severus nearly knocked down a wizard who shared the same hallway as him. He was running from what he felt, he couldn’t stand reliving what he had with Lily. The unbearable feeling of that longing for someone he couldn’t have – Severus didn’t want to deal with that all again.

He was cold; he was mean, and ruthless. He needed to remember what the students would call him behind his back, because that’s what he was. He may not have been that way when he was younger, but he definitely was now, and love wasn’t something he could do.

But why do I protect her then?

He was so tired of all the walls, tired of seeing Harry and then seeing Lily. The pain he felt was unbearable… but perhaps moving on was all he could do to silence that pain. He loved Lily so deeply, and forever he would, but perhaps it was possible to change. He remembered she was able to love James so easily, Why wasn’t he enough? Of course no one would love a man as ugly and dark as he. He knew that, it was common sense.

But then why had it been Adrienne’s eyes begging him to kiss her?

No. I do not love, I cannot.

If he could spare himself one thing, It was reliving what he had already been through. He wasn’t allowed Lily, he lost Lily, she wasn’t saved. Severus would change that statement - Adrienne would never be his, but he wouldn’t let her get lost, he wouldn’t let her fate be met by death, he would save her – that was his place.

After all… there was this very protective interior that Snape rarely let out. He was good at protecting people from a distance, and he knew he was bound to do it time and time again.

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Adrienne felt like she could float. She fancied him, oh, of course she did,… and not just a little – it was so much. She loved how smart he was, how he seemed to care for all his students even though he was the least liked teacher at Hogwarts. He looked out for Draco, Herself, and she prayed that he was protecting Potter.

He pulled away from her abruptly, and she had snaked her hands up his chest and around his neck. And when he leaned away, she didn’t let him go completely. She didn’t know what his eyes meant, confusion, surprise, admiration? She couldn’t tell.

But either way, she wouldn’t find out.

The footsteps made her hear ache, why was he leaving her?

Adrienne had never felt more confusion; she kept reliving that moment where she saw his dark eyes drifting further from hers. They stayed locked to her face, but were torn away at the last moment. She had nearly thrown herself at him, she felt stupid. What had she been thinking?

She had felt venerable here, and all she could think about was being away, and being with someone else. She had filled her head with nonsense about someone who was her teacher, and she foolishly acted on those fantasies. She nearly cried at her own stupidity. But she didn’t let herself, she had let too many tears escape her eyes in the short time she’d spent at the Malfoy manor and she vowed no more.

She could only think of Albus at this time, he had been the one to show her this possibility – even though he hoped she wouldn’t end up here, she had to wonder… had he known all along it would happen? She wondered because he seemed so confident in her abilities to do this, maybe he knew that she was the strongest person for this mission, and maybe she would succeed.

Of course, at the time she had been suicidal, and succeeding didn’t always mean making it out alive. So she asked herself – did living still matter? It seemed like the thought had just disappeared from her mind. After all the time she’d spent with her professor, at school, and here, she realized she had been afraid of dying, she’d been afraid of the pain. But for some reason… she was happy she had been stopped that night. She was still happy to be here, for a certain reason she wouldn’t admit to herself.

Adrienne realized how uncomfortable she felt. She was still wearing her obscene outfit from dinner. She remembered seeing a bit of red lipstick on her professor’s lips, she used her fist to wipe the rest of it off from herself and wondered if he’d realize to do the same. While she unpinned her hair, the rest of her chestnut locks fell across her shoulders. But now she noticed her old clothes were missing. And she was stuck in the most uncomfortable tight dress. So she sat and waited for something, for anything. And while she had all that silence around her she thought of no one else but Severus Snape.

She was still shaken from the rejection she’d received – and she wasn’t ready for what walked right into her room.
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Severus knew there was no way to save the girl unless he did so properly. He promised Albus several things, but Snape would have to execute those promises in a different way. If he could just get Adrienne far enough away from Voldemort, and keep the blame from Draco, then Snape no longer would need to watch over her, and her utter temptation would be out of his way as well. He wondered if he was risking his life for her safety, or for his. Severus could only imagine what would happen if someone realized what had happened between them.

Severus pointed his wand at the wall and muttered ‘reflecto’ he could instantly see himself in front of the magical mirror he had just created. Of course, the red lipstick had tinted his lips slightly to a rose pink. He didn’t worry that anyone had seen it. It was hardly noticeable. But it was still evidence to Severus to what had actually occurred, yet another reminder it was all real.

His face was once again returned to its pale cold demeanor after he muttered another spell to get rid of the pale pink color. And he began to think of the perfect place to hide Adrienne. Taking her out of the country would be beneficial, somewhere he could know she was safe, but where? Getting her out of here was not only risky, but it was incredibly stupid.

Severus Snape never did anything stupid.

But maybe he would have to change that.

Then only thing he could think to do was something rash. But Severus knew that if he honestly cared about this girl in anyway, he wouldn’t let the inevitable happen.

First, he was going to get her out of here, and then cover up his tracks. And he knew he was risking so much. He began to retrace his steps and return to that small bedroom that Adrienne spent her nights.

Everyone had finally dispersed from dinner, which meant the Dark Lord was likely gone now. The only person he ran into was Draco Malfoy.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Draco asked as Severus came in contact with the doorway. He seemed to have been hovering, watching, and waiting – but for what?

“Away. And you’d do right to keep your head down.” He snapped back at him with his regular cold demeanor.

“Why? What is it you’re planning with that girl?”

“An escape. Your father’s been thinking about it, why don’t you go and address him?”

“Are you bloody mad? And I won’t let you. He’s in there and I get the lovely task of being on watch for those like yourself Professor!”

“Where? Where is he Draco?”

“You know very well. With your little pet.”

“Draco-“ Severus was interrupted.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed, they’re my spells, I know when someone breaks them, and it’s always you! What do you do? Break in and toy with that little witch every night?”

“Draco you don’t understand I need to hide her, I need to hide-“

“You’re not doing anything with her! Besides it’s too late. Even if you hexed me, you can’t beat him, and he’s the one with her now.”

Sure enough, the knob to the door was locked, and Severus could tell that several of the charms weren’t Draco’s or his – they were the Dark Lords.

He was too late.