The Only Hope for Me Is You

I look up at Gerard after watching Frank turn the corner of the hallway, and I shrug.

“Is he going to be okay…?” He asked, rubbing my arms up and down lightly. He turned his head to the side and leaned back, trying to see Frank, but he couldn’t, and turned to face me again, giving me a small smile. I frowned.

“I don’t know…” I said, and watched Lauren let go of Mikey and walk over to the BL/ind dispenser on the side of the corridor, staring up at it. Mikey walks over next to her, and wraps
his arm around her waist.

“What are you doing?” He asked, looking at her. She sighed, still staring at the top of the dispenser.

“Before Cy fell from the fucking ceiling, I saw a box up there…it looked important…” she trailed off, thinking. I looked at Gerard, who looked at Ray, who shrugged. Gerard let me go, and I followed him over to Mikey and Lauren.

“I’d get it myself,” Lauren continued, jumping, trying to reach the top. “But I’m so damn short, I—Mikey. You’re tall. Help me!” She stopped jumping and turned to him, and he shrugged. She moved out of his way, and he reached on top of the dispenser, moving his hand around until he grabbed the open fold of the box, and dragged it toward him, off the edge and caught it in his arms. Lauren clapped, and pecked him on the cheek.

“Thanks, babe!” she said happily. “Now, let’s get the hell out of here!” We all nodded, and
followed her and Mikey down the hall, Lauren carrying Mikey’s GOOD LUCK helmet for him. Ray held the back, walking behind me and Gerard. I was holding his CAT mask for him, and we walked side by side in silence, until I broke it.

“Gerard, you need to talk to Frank.”

“I know…”

“No, I don’t think you do,” I said. “What you did there…did you see his face? He was HURT, Gee…” Gerard slapped his face.

“I know, Cy, and I’m sorry.” He said. “I don’t know what I was thinking, I—“

“Gerard, stop.” I held his hand. “You know exactly what you were doing, and I appreciate it. Really, I do. But we have to sort this out, the three of us. Okay?”

“Okay…” he said, and after that, the silence commenced once again, and we continued walking down the halls, surprisingly without any attacks.

“You think Korse called them off?” Ray said, breaking the silence. I nodded, still holding Gerard’s hand tight, my other hand on top of my ray gun in my holster.

“Most likely,” I said, still staring straight ahead, and saw that Mikey, Frank, and Lauren were waiting for us out by the front door of the building. Frank still looked upset, but I could tell he was trying to hide it. I could tell from his eyes, but other than that, he looked like the same old Frank. He turned around, smiling at the rest of us, and stretched his arms out at his sides.

“Well, that was a really eventful,” he said, letting out a groan as he stretched. “I’m fucking beat. Let’s go home…” He walked out of the door, pushing the glass doors out as he walked, and Mikey and Lauren followed, hand in hand. Ray walked past me and Gerard to

follow, and I stood there, alone with Gerard.

“You okay?” He asked, and I nodded, letting go of his hand.

“Yeah, but we can’t…not with him right there, okay?”

“I get it…” He said, and walked me out of the door, and followed the others down the bridge to the car. Gerard opened the trunk and they all put their masks and helmets in, then Mikey, Ray and Lauren got into the back seat, and Gerard at the wheel. I looked at Frank, laughing.

“All right, who’s sitting on top of who?” I asked him, and he laughed, opening the door.

“I ain’t your bitch!” he said, joking. “You. On my lap. Deal with it.” He put his aviators on as he said this, and sat in the passenger’s seat. I crawled onto his lap, at Gerard’s distain. I shrugged at him, before turning around to have Frank’s face right next to mine, my reflection
clear in his mirrored glasses.

“Well, hey,” He said sweetly.

“Hey!” I said back. Right there, however, Gerard turned the key on the car and turned the motor, and we were off with a loud roar, back through the desert, back to the hideout. I looked from Gerard to Frank, and back to Gerard the whole time, trying to figure out, once again, who I was going to stay with, and for good this time. I knew it was going to be hard, but this time, once I decided, I was going to stick with it. No more of this love triangle shit…this needed to be sorted out, and for good.

Ray, Mikey and Lauren were having a conversation of their own in the back, but I couldn’t make anything out, so I turned to Frank.

“Hi.” I said.

“Hiiiiiiii!” he replied, smirking. He seriously sounded like a six year old right here, and that made me giggle, which made Gerard snap his head at the two of us. I raised my eyebrows at Frank, who jokingly gasped, his mouth staying open in a joking way. I smiled, not resisting his cuteness. He was definitely helping me make my decision right now. Frank was being light and fluffy about the issue, but Gerard was being so cynical and serious about it, like he was really trying too hard. I sighed, and put my head on Frank’s shoulder, and before long, I
was lulled to sleep by the sound of the running motor.
_______________________________________________________________________

“Cy…Cy, wake up,” I heard Frank say, and felt him shaking me awake lightly. I let out a soft moan, and rubbed my eyes, realizing we were back at the hideout. I looked out the window and saw the others walking inside, Lauren and Mikey still hand in hand, Mikey with the mysterious box, and Ray and Gerard talking about something. I turned back to Frank, who was staring at me; he had taken his sunglasses off, and his big brown eyes were
entrancing. I stared, just blinking. He laughed.

“Jesus, you must have been tired…” He said, petting the back of my head. “But Cy, you need
to get up…my legs are asleep…”

“Oh, sorry!” I exclaimed, scrambling to get the door open, and found myself leaning on the door as I opened it, and fell face first into the dirt, feeling the friction of the rocks rub against my face.

“OOF!”

“Cy, oh my god!” I heard Frank cry behind me, and I heard him clambering out of the car to come to my aid. “Cy, are you okay?” He kneeled down next to me as I pushed myself off the ground, getting on my knees and dusting off my chest and face. I spit to the side before
nodding.

“Ha…yeah, I’m fine, thanks.” I said. He smiled, and wrapped his arms around me, and whispered into my ear.

“If I didn’t know any better I’d say you are as much as a clumsy motherfucker as I am, Cy.” He leaned back, and kissed me, lightly, before standing up and holding his hand out to get me to my feet. We walked through the door, hand in hand, and I saw that Lauren was waiting for me to get inside.

“Hey, Frank, can, um….” She shifted her weight to her other leg. “Can me and Cy talk for a moment?” Frank looked at me, then at her, then nodded.

“Um, yeah, let me just….” He trailed off, walking over to the kitchen table to join Gerard and Ray in their conversation. Surprisingly, Gerard scooted over to let Frank sit next to him. I turned to Lauren.

“Yes?” I asked, hands on my hips.

“We need to talk in private.” She said, in al seriousness. I shifted my eyes and nodded.

“Oooooookay…” I said, following her back outside. “About what?” I followed her over to the cliff that overlooked the canyon, and we sat down, side by side, looking out into the vast emptiness. The sun had set, and the sky had went from the dazzling orange to the beautiful deep purple in the course of a few minutes.

“We need to talk about relationships.” She said.

“What do you mean…?”

“About you, and Frank, and Gerard.” She turned to face me. “This needs to stop, and the sooner, the better.”

“What—whoa, what are you even talking about?”

“You saw Frank’s face when Gerard kissed you…it hurt him, Cy.”

“I know, I—“

“No, you don’t know,” she grabbed my hand in both of hers, and looked me right in the eye, her blonde hair blowing in the light breeze. “Cy…what you are doing…it’s only making things worse between the three of you.”

“Lauren…”

“No, Cy, you know it’s true. And I just want to know what you are planning on doing with this whole situation.” I paused, thinking about how I was going to tell her.

“Well, I, um…” I didn’t know what to say, so I just went with what came into my head first.
“Lauren,” I said. “When I see what you have with Mikey, I just…I get jealous. You two are so perfect together, and I see that and I think, ‘wow, I really want that…’

“But Cy, you CAN have what me and Mikey have…you just have to choose the ONE person to have it with.”

“I know.” I looked at the ground. “It’s just so HARD, Lauren…I…I love both of them—“

“That doesn’t make a difference,” she said. “Who do you love more? Who makes you happier? Frank, or Gerard?” I thought about this for a really, really long time, and Lauren let me take my time.

Gerard was my first, and we had a really unique and interesting history together. But the more I thought about it…the more I realized that was basically it. He cared about me, and I cared about him too, but it wasn’t at the same level, and I guess that was the deciding factor.

Frank was always there for me from the beginning; he was the one that found me, that rescued me, and was the most like me. The way he talked, and smiled, and acted around his friends…it made me happy to see him happy. And when he was angry, I was angry. The two of us…we were in sync, and nothing could tear that away from us. He was so caring and strong…full of hope, humor and kindness…THAT was what made the final decision.

“Lauren, I—“ I said, finally breaking the silence. “I think I am legitimately in love with Frank.” She looked at me, smiling, and wiped the rogue tear from my eyes before hugging me.

“That’s my good girl…” She said, patting my back. I chuckled, feeling the weight being lifted off my chest again.

“Let’s go inside, yeah?” She said, and I nodded, sniffling, and we walked back into the shack to see Frank and Gerard on the couch, apparently waiting for me. Lauren let me go, nudging me with her elbow, and walked into Mikey’s room, closing the door behind him.

“So did you guys talk it out?” I asked, looking at Gerard, who nodded.

“We did, and we decided that no matter what your decision is, we will still love and respect each other, just like we always have.” He looked at Frank, who nodded in agreement.

“Oh thank God.” I said, wiping tears from my face again, keeping my hands on my face.

“Oh, don’t cry…” I heard Frank say, and that only made me cry harder. I felt someone wrap their arms around me, and from my other senses, I could tell Frank had gotten up off the couch to comfort me. I wrapped my arms around his small frame, and he leaned in to whisper in my ear again.

“Cy…thank you.” He said, biting my ear lightly. “I love you, you know that, right?” I nodded, and he let me go, kissing my cheek. I looked over to Gerard, who looked slightly saddened, but he hid it well. He stood up, and put his arms out, smiling.

“Come here,” he said, and I walked over to him, and without any hesitation, kissed his lips for the last time, feeling the fire burn through my veins one last time. We parted, and he hugged me, his chin on my shoulder.

“Cy, I will always love you.” He said, and once again, I was crying.