Going Home

After Angel had disappeared again, I stayed by the creek for a long time – trying to comprehend what had happened, and what was happening now.

One minute we were sitting, talking; the next she was gone – it was disconcerting, to say the least, and I was having more than a little trouble believing it.

But there wasn’t any other option.

If this... this freak-out – if it wasn’t really happening, and I was dreaming, or hallucinating, there was no way it could feel this damn real.

So all I could do was try and find a way to finish whatever it was that had started the day Angel walked into my life, secrets and all.

But how?

I thought of how I had finally convinced her to let me get help – a success in a way, but also another step towards a task that I knew already would be almost impossible.

Only a year before, I had gone though it all myself – trying to tell people what was happening, and getting nowhere; and that time I had been telling them as a first-hand witness.

This time all I had was the word of a ghost… or whatever it was Angel had become now.

I sighed hopelessly and turned away from where I had been staring at the flowing water below, desperately telling myself the upsides – this time, I knew who to go to for help.

This time, there was proof in the fact that Angel’s body was in the hospital.

This time, I knew Jessie and Mrs. James would back me up... that is, once I told them.

I cringed at the thought of being the bearer of such ill news, knowing full well that they would both be immeasurably shocked and distraught, especially Jess.

But it had to be done; like death and taxes, as my mother used to say, it was unavoidable.

With that totally irrelevant metaphor in my mind, I walked away from the creek like a condemned man and set off for the bus to the hospital.

I walked towards the room where Angel lay an hour later, having thought over what I was to say hundreds of times, and still not knowing how I was going to explain it all.

Jess met me outside the door, and as I met her troubled green eyes, I saw her expression change.

“What is it?” she asked, immediately seeing through any pretence of calmness that I may have had. “What’s wrong?”

I sighed, closing my eyes and trying to forget everything as I began relaying the awful information.

“Jess, I need to tell you something. And it’s not good.”

She started to ask me something, but I waved her questions away and turned, resting my hands against the wall as if it could hold the weight of what I was about to say.

“Jess, I spoke to Angel before this… she told me, what happened, with those bruises you saw. It wasn’t an accident – Jess, Angel needs help...”

Jess was staring at me, dumbfounded, when I finally looked up after explaining everything Angel had told me as best I could.

“But… but, why didn’t you tell me before?” she finally spluttered, holding onto the back of a waiting chair for support.

“She asked me not to,” I shrugged, knowing now I shouldn’t have listened. “She said she didn’t want you worrying… said there was nothing you could do.”

“What,” Jess turned to me suddenly, waving her arms in the air. “And now there is? For god’s sake, you should’ve told me! She should’ve said something – I…” she ran out of words, sinking down into the chair and holding her head in her hands with a moan.

“Jess,” I sat down in the chair beside her, trying to sound reassuring. “That doesn’t matter anymore, but what we do now does. I’m going to do whatever I can to get Angel out of there once she wakes up… I just thought you needed to know.”

Jessie sniffed and wiped her eyes on her sleeve, nodding.

“Okay,” she said, after taking a deep breath. “And, Jay? Promise me you’ll tell me if there’s anything I can do to help, okay?”

I nodded and managed to smile, though there was nothing got smile about, before turning and walking away from the sharp ammonia smell of the hospital.

I didn’t look into Angel’s room as I passed - she wasn’t there, whatever the doctors and everyone else might say.

In that room was merely a shell; the spirit that was really Angel was floating around outside of it.

It was a melancholy bus ride back to the James’ house, wondering to myself where Angel’s spirit actually was – if she was having another time warp or nightmare; or if she had come back into my world while I was gone and was waiting, not knowing what was happening or what would happen next.

All of the ideas, the questions and speculations swimming around in my head, were so confusing; I could hardly imagine what Angel herself must be feeling.

Coincidentally, some of those questions were answered as I walked into my room after getting back, and found out exactly where Angel was – she was sitting casually on my desk chair, looking through my drawings.